


Lies

by accio_remus



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:04:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 54,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4336757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accio_remus/pseuds/accio_remus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Finn Hudson is raped by someone he trusts it's up to his family and friends to help him move on. Warning for Will/Finn sexual assault. Main ship is Finn/Mercedes with strong Hudmel family ties. Includes Klaine and St. Berry. Complete. Written post 2.16.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Finn didn't know where else to go. He had promised his mom he'd stay at a friends tonight so she and Burt could have a date night. He had thought when he said yes that he would crash with Sam, but since he had kissed Quinn that option was out. He still hadn't forgiven Puck for messing around with Rachel, and Mike was visiting his aunt in Columbus. So, he took a deep and knocked on the door to Mr. Schue's apartment.

The door opened to reveal Mr. Schue in a pair of thin sleep pants and a plain white undershirt. Finn was a little embarrassed, but he figured it was too late to back out now.

"Finn? What are you doing here?" he asked, and Finn could tell he'd been drinking.

"I needed a place to crash, but this was a bad idea. I'm sorry I'm interrupting," Finn turned to leave but was stopped when a firm hand gripped his shoulder.

"No, Finn. I can't just let you wander the streets. Come in."

Finn hesitated, but the hand on his shoulder tightened, "Finn". Schue's voice was sharp and Finn automatically obeyed, following the older man into the apartment.

"Have a seat; I'll get you something to drink." Schue said disappearing into the kitchen as Finn took a seat on the couch looking around. There were a couple empty beer bottles on the coffee table.

Schue came back a few minutes later and handed him a green plastic tumbler that seemed to be filled with Pepsi. Finn nodded his thanks and took a swig and almost choked, "What is this?"

"Rum and coke. Don't look at me like that, it's not like you've never had a drink before. I'm not so old I don't remember high school."

"You aren't that old," Finn said, looking into his cup and wondering if he should drink some. Mr. Schue smiled at that, and he relaxed a little.

"Just drink it, Finn. It's okay." Schue said, his voice tense. Finn did what he said, he hated when adults were mad at him. He finished his drink quickly trying to come up with some excuse why he couldn't stay, but before he had a chance the older man refilled his cup.

Finn was so confused, Mr. Schue had just made them promise not to drink and now he was giving him the booze. This was really weird.

It was then that Finn noticed what was still playing on the tv and almost spit his drink out all over himself. Holy, shit! he thought to himself, Mr. Schue was watching porn! It wasn't the regular guy/girl stuff that Puck used to sneak past his mom either; this particular scene was a threesome but with two guys. Sure, he watched Skinamax when his mom wasn't home, but this night was moving past weird and into creepy and Finn wasn't really cool with it anymore. Finn tried to stand up and tell Mr. Schue he was just going to go home, but he staggered a bit once he was off the couch. As soon as he reached for his jacket Mr. Schue stopped him, "Finn, there is no way I can let you drive like this. You can stay here tonight."

"I'm fine, or I'll call someone to come get me," Finn said, trying to concentrate, but his head was spinning.

"Don't, Finn. I know why you came to see me. It's okay, I'll help you. You'll stay with me tonight," Schue said, standing beside him and putting and arm tightly around his waist. He wasn't up to arguing, so he let Mr. Schue push him down the hallway and into the bedroom. Finn began to protest, he could just sleep on the couch. He didn't want to push Schue out of his own room after all. Before he got a chance to say anything, however, he was on his back on the bed and his head was spinning too much to get up. Like, really spinning. Not like the other times he'd drank with the guys.

He could feel Schue taking off his shoes, then his socks, and then shifting up and lifting the hem of his t-shirt. He didn't need to do that, Finn thought, he always slept in his t-shirt. He was feeling kind of warm though. Finn started to get confused again when Mr. Schue reached down and pulled his own shirt over his head as well. Shit, Finn had to get his act together; this wasn't going like he thought it should.

Finn tried to sit up again, but Mr. Schue was sitting on his thighs and pushing down on his shoulders. Finn flopped back down, dizzy from the effort when the older man's hands started rubbing his shoulders. Suddenly Schue's mouth was right by his ear and he tried to focus on what the other man was telling him. He wished he hadn't when he heard what it was.

"Shh, Finn. It's okay. I know why you're here, and it's okay. All those excuses to spend time with me. I know you don't want people to know, but it's okay to be curious about men, Finn. You know that. Don't worry, baby, I'm going to make you feel so good," the whispers in his ear continued as Schue slid down until he was laying on top of Finn.

What the hell? Oh god, did Mr. Schue think he had a thing for him? That he wanted him like Kurt wanted Blaine? Oh god. This was fucked up. "Mr. Schue, it's not like that! I thought we were sort of friends, or at least as much as a teacher can be, and I really do need help with my dancing, everyone knows that."

"Finn, it's okay. Nobody has to know, Quinn won't find out. It will be our secret, baby," Schue said, starting to put kisses on Finn's neck and shoulder.

Shit, this wasn't right. He wasn't gay or bi or anything, but even if he was he was pretty sure teachers were off limits. "No, Mr. Schue! Stop," he said, and went to push the man away so he could get up but his whole body felt like lead and the dizziness got worse every time he moved. He couldn't do anything and he couldn't believe this was happening. This wasn't just from the drink. Oh god, Schue must have given him something.

"Relax, Finn. I'm going to take care of you, it's okay," Schue said, and Finn could feel his teachers hands running over his chest and down to the front of his basketball shorts. Finn groaned and tried to focus. Santana aside, he didn't really have that much experience and the fact that his body was reacting to this made him want to be sick.

His teacher kept running his hand up and down the front of his shorts, firmer and more insistent. "See, baby. I knew this is what you needed; I can see how much you want this. You're so hot baby."

Finn tried to struggle again when his shorts were pulled down, but he still couldn't make his arms and legs work. He knew he was crying, and he didn't care. He was so scared, he didn't understand why Mr. Schue would do this, he didn't understand what he could have done for the older man to think this was what he wanted.

He considered screaming, but he wasn't sure anyone could here him. Even if they did, even if they believed him, it was so fucked up. They claim they don't put kids names on the news, but everyone in Lima would know anyway. He couldn't be that kid, he just couldn't. He laid there, defeated, and let Schue touch him and oh god, why did Schue have to use his mouth. This shouldn't feel good, it shouldn't. He doesn't want this, but nobody has ever done this for him before. He can't help it, and he just wants it to be over so he doesn't even think about the mailman he just lets go.

Schue pulls back, and a small part of Finn hopes that he'll realize what's happening. That he will realize that Finn is crying and stop this even though Finn's world is already crashing down around him. It was going to be so much worse if he didn't just stop now. He was stupid to think Schue would stop now. It's getting worse and now Schue is kissing him, sticking his tongue in his mouth and he can taste himself and he thinks he's going to throw up.

Mr. Schue must be stronger than he looked under those vests because he was able to flip Finn over even though he kept fighting the best he could. Finn watched in horror as Schue reached under the pillow and dumped something from a small plastic bottle over his fingers. He had been curious enough to sneak a look at some of the pamphlets Burt had brought home for Kurt , so he knew what was going to happen. His brain was kind of frozen though, like it was too hard to even think about. Schue was back to whispering in his ear about how it was okay, and it wouldn't hurt if he relaxed, and how long he'd been waiting to give this to Finn.

The time it took Schue to prep him passed in a blur of burning pain and Finn trying not to listen as his teacher called him "beautiful" and "baby". Finally, Schue pulled back and Finn whimpered as his teacher pushed into him. It felt like it took forever and then before he could take another breath Schue started moving. It was like being ripped apart, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He knew nothing was ever going to be the same again, but whatever he been drugged with was making it impossible for him to stay awake. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand the pain, he couldn't stand the sounds his teacher was making, and he couldn't stand the heavy feeling in his head. He couldn't stand it so he just let the darkness take over.

It was several hours before he woke up and another hour after that before he could move well enough to get the hell out of there. It didn't look like Schue was around, and he wasn't about to stick around and give the other man another chance to assault him. He struggled into his shorts and t-shirt, wincing at the pain from the attack every time he tried to move. He couldn't see any blood and he knew Schuester had used a condom, so he didn't see much point in going to the hospital. He couldn't tell anyone. No way, he wasn't going to be that kid. He had no idea how he was going to go back to school on Monday and pretend to be normal, but right now he just had to get to his car. He'd lock the doors and be safe in his car.

He drove home on auto-pilot, not really aware of what was going on around him, but luckily there weren't many cars on the streets of Lima in the middle of the night. He slipped quietly into the house, terrified of waking his mom and step-dad and his parents seeing how messed up he was. Finn made it to the bathroom and locked the door, checking it a second time just in case. He turned the shower as hot as it would go and started to scrub until he couldn't take it anymore and sat down with his knees to his chest and let the fear and betrayal take over letting the scalding water wash his tears down the drain.

Finn got out of the shower long after the hot water ran out. At least this way he could pretend the shaking was from the cold. The bruises on his upper arms where Schue had held him down were the most obvious, but he knew where all the other ones were with every step. When he was little and he used to get scared he'd curl up on the end of his mom's bed under his Thomas the Tank Engine sleeping bag and he'd felt a lot better. He wished he could go to his mom now, but he wasn't ready yet. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready. He was completely drained, but he didn't sleep much. It was early Sunday morning now, and he had to figure out how he was going to go to school on Monday. It was like he could still feel everything, and not just there, but the breath on his face, the hands on his shoulders, and everything else.

He tried to stay in his room all day, but his mom insisted he get up at noon and mow the lawn. He didn't argue. It didn't matter and Burt wasn't supposed to be doing yard work anyhow. He checked his phone and noticed several texts, mostly from Quinn. He couldn't deal with that now so he turned his phone off hoping they would stop trying.

As he pushed the mower back and forth he tried to think of a plan, but nothing would actually work. He couldn't drop out; he'd be stuck in Lima forever. He couldn't go to Dalton with Kurt, their parents would want to know why, and they couldn't afford it anyhow. Getting the guys together to go beat the shit out of Schue was something he let himself think about for a while, but If he did that he'd have to tell them why, and he'd probably end up in jail instead of Schue. He couldn't do that to his mom. Shit, he was so stupid. If he hadn't been so weak and stupid none of this would have happen.

He didn't even know what was real. He couldn't help but think of all the times he had been alone with Schue over the last two years. Was the other man just waiting for a chance? All that stuff about having faith in him, about his talent and leadership, telling him to "find his inner rock star". Had Schue ever actually cared about him, or was it just to gain his trust?

When he was done with the lawn he made himself a sandwich and went up to his room. He had no more answers than he did when he woke up, so he decided to spend the rest of the night wasting zombies on his Xbox. He still didn't turn on his phone, and he hadn't talked to anyone since his mom woke him up.

The next morning when it was time to leave for school Finn still didn't have a plan other than acting as normal as possible and skipping Spanish and Glee. He felt like he was made of lead. He tossed on some jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, didn't bother with breakfast, and ignored Mike's questioning look when he barely made it to Trig before the bell rang.

By the time lunch rolled around he thought he was doing okay. He hadn't talked much, and his phone was still off, but he hadn't seen Schue and he wasn't shaking. He still didn't feel like eating, so he bought two bottles of Mountan Dew and took his usual seat with Puck, Sam, Mike, Brittany, and Santana.

"Where's your lunch?" Sam asked. It was unusual to see Finn with only one tray, let alone no food at all.

"Not hungry. Aren't you the one always saying it's important to stay in shape?" Finn said. He was relieved when Santana interrupted, at least until he heard what she wanted.

"Finn, you've got to do something about Berry," Santana said, "if she tries to run glee today I might kill her."

"I'm not going to glee today. Why would Rachel run things?" He asked, mostly because he was tired of the girls fighting all the time, especially when it involved him. Mike and Sam both looked at him when he said he wasn't going to glee, but they didn't ask questions.

"Mr. Schue's not here today. Must have been sudden too, we didn't even have a sub in Spanish, just Ms. Pillsbury-Howell making sure we didn't burn the place down," Puck said. He turned to Finn, "Do you know what's up with Schue?"

Finn froze. Schue wasn't there? Why ask him? Could they tell something? For a minute he thought his throat was going to close up. "Why ask me?" he choked out.

Puck put his hands up in front of him, "Relax! Just thought since you're his favorite you might know where he was." His favorite. It was the voice in his ear all over again. - Such a good boy for me, Finn. So special, baby. - He had to get out there. He jumped up spilling one of his sodas on the table and knocking the chair over in his effort to get out of there as soon as possible.

He didn't stop until he reached the bleachers, missing the concerned looks that Sam and Mike exchanged when he ran out of there. Brittany started to stand up and go after him, but Santana just pulled her back down and shook her head. Finn sat on the highest and farthest corner of the bleachers and tried to get his breathing under control. He knew he should be cold without his jacket, but he was sweating like he'd just worked out.

He'd seen this happen to Kurt once, when the hockey team had locked him in a closet. Mercedes had called it a panic attack and made Kurt take deep breaths and focus on how awful Rachel's outfit was. He tried to do the same, thinking about the drills that they'd been running in basketball instead of Rachel. After a few minutes his heart wasn't beating so fast and he was able to catch his breath. He checked his watch and realizing he was just in time for the weight training class Coach Bieste had made all the football players take in the spring he headed back to the school.

Finn slipped into the locker room right as the bell rang and avoided Sam's raised eyebrow as he opened his gym locker. Sam wasn't going to let him off that easy. "Are you okay? You kind of freaked out at lunch."

Okay, he needed a lie. He was terrible at lying. "I, uh, bought a hotdog at the gas station for breakfast. It's been making me sick all day. I didn't want to say anything in front of the girls." Okay, that wasn't bad. TMI and all, but Sam wouldn't care. He reached into his locker and grabbed the old t-shirt he used for gym, pulling off the sweatshirt he had worn to school.

Sam shrugged, "Okay, but you kind of freaked Brittany out. You should..." Sam cut off what he was saying and Finn looked over to see what had happened. Sam was staring at the bruises on his upper arms. "Shit, Finn. What the hell happened?"

Oh god. Fuck. He'd forgotten for a minute. How the hell could he forget even for a minute? He quickly tugged the sweatshirt back down and shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing happened. You know I'm hopeless at dancing. I was trying to practice and I ran into a wall."

"Dude, those are hand prints! You don't get hand prints from running into a wall." Sam said. Finn started looking around, trying to figure out if anyone else had heard.

"Be quiet! It's none of your business!" Finn growled at at the other boy, causing him take a step back. Finn felt bad instantly. Yelling at Sam was only going to make things worse, but nobody was supposed to know. Sam blew out a breath and then gestured towards the equipment room at the back of the lockers. Finn knew from the look on his face that arguing wasn't going to work so he followed, wrapping his arms around himself.

Once they had some privacy Sam turned to face him. "Finn, what is going on? Somebody hurt you, and don't bother lying. There is no other way to get marks like that."

No. No. No. He couldn't tell Sam. Despite all the drama over Quinn he still thought they could be pretty good bros, but not if Sam knew how stupid and weak he was. Finn just shook his head, but Sam kept going.

"This isn't right. Fine, I'll just say it. Finn, is your step-dad smacking you around?"

"WHAT? Burt? NO WAY. You've got to believe me on this one! He'd never lay a hand on me!" Finn said, his voice cracking a bit. He was shaking again. He had to make Sam believe him, Burt was the best thing that ever happened to his mom. He was really good to her and she didn't even have to work double shifts anymore. Oh shit, he'd done it again. Sam was backing away from him looking scared, and he was starting to have trouble breathing again.

"Okay. You are freaking me out, and if you won't talk to me you've got to talk to someone. Kurt, or your parents, how about coach? I know Mr. Schuester isn't here today, but we have his cell number."

Now Finn really couldn't breath, his heart was beating like he'd just played a full game of basketball. He just kept shaking his head as he sank to his knees, hoping Sam would leave him alone. The minute he went down the shorter boy took off and Finn knew he was going to get an adult. Sure enough, Sam came back a few minutes later with Coach Bieste followed closely by Mike and Puck. Coach took one look at him flipping out like a crazy person and started giving orders. "Evans, call an ambulance. Puckerman, call his mother. Chang, go tell someone in the teachers lounge to watch my class and then wait outside for the ambulance."

He watched the others do as they were told and flinched when Coach knelt down beside him and put a hand on his back. She noticed his reaction and pulled her hand back right away, but he saw the look in her eyes. "Hudson, you need to breath. You're having a panic attack, but it's safe now and anyone who hurts you is going to have deal with me. Breath slow. In and out, that's it." It wasn't long before the paramedics arrived and put a mask over his mouth. He thought one of them said something about helping him calm down and he felt a jab.


	2. 2

Shannon Bieste was almost starting to feel at home in Lima, Ohio. It hadn't been easy to pick up everything and take over a football team that hardly ever won a game, but heck, she needed a change of scenery and it paid well. The first few months had almost wiped her out between trying to get her players to focus on the game and trying to avoid that lunatic cheerleading coach.

Finally though she had the respect of her students and she was making friends. She was supervising the weight training class she had instituted when Evans ran in five minutes late. She was going to get some discipline in these boys if it killed her. "Evans! You're late. Do you want laps?"

"Coach, it's Finn. He's freaking out, and he can't breathe!" Evans said.

"Show me where he is," she said. This day was turning into one hell of a crapfest. First Will doesn't show up for work, doesn't even call in, and now her quarterback is losing his shit.

She follows Evans into the equipment room to find Hudson on his knees, hyperventilating and looking like he didn't even know he was in the damn locker room. Thankful for once that Puckerman and Chang couldn't be bothered to mind their own business she gives all three boys instructions and gets on the floor with Hudson. She'll worry about getting back up with her bad knees later.

She tries to calm the boy down with a hand on his back, but she can tell right away that it makes whatever has him spooked worse. She pulls back right away, but reels a bit when she sees the fear in his eyes. Dammit, no kid should be that scared of anything. She tries to calm him down, but she's sure as shootin' happy to see those paramedics rush in.

Shannon backs up to give them room to work and then remembers her other students. She pulls her car keys out of her fanny pack and tosses them to Evans, no way in hell is she giving them to Puckerman. "Evans, I'm going to ride in the ambulance. My truck is the black Dodge in the faculty lot, get it to St. Rita's in one piece or you'll regret it.

"Yes coach," Sam says," Coach, make sure someone looks at his arms. Those bruises didn't get there on accident."

She nods and then looks at the other two boys, "You two stay here. Your job is to keep the entire glee club from invading the hospital. That's the last thing Hudson needs. Do I make myself clear?" Their chorus of "Yes, Coach" was enough and she followed the stretcher to the parking lot, only half listening as the paramedic explained he had given Hudson something to calm him down.

She glares at the paramedic who tries to offer her a helping hand into the back of the ambulance, she's not that damn old. She takes a spot at Hudson's side and watches as the heart rate decreases and his breathing slows. She doubts it's trouble at home. Surely if that was the case there would have been signs before this. Hudson seems to find himself in a big ball of crazy romantically, but she's used to teenage boys and that doesn't seem all that unusual. She knows the kid's stepbrother had trouble with bullies. She would have benched their asses too, if anyone had bothered to mention it to her.

There are only a few things that can freak a normal kid like Finn Hudson out like this and none of them are good.

The kid is feeling the drugs now, his eyes are glassy. He's not all the way out though, his body is twitching a little, like he's fighting against relaxing, and she can see his lips moving. She tries to hear what he's saying, maybe she can figure out what is going on. He's muttering now, "no", and "not again". A cold spike of ice is forming in her gut, but when she hears "Please, don't" and "No, Mr. Schue" in the same sentence it take everything she's got not to be sick right there.

She looks up at the paramedic, the hands at her sides balled into fists, "Can't you give him something else, he's scared." She doesn't really notice the response; she's a little scared too.

Her first impulse is to pretend she didn't hear it. Will is her friend, and he's a good guy. He really cares about his students. Hudson is drugged, maybe not thinking straight. She tries to keep these thoughts up for a few minutes, but she's always been a fan of cutting through the crap. The kid is barely conscious; he couldn't make things up right now even if he wanted to. Something happened to this kid, something bad and she'd already figured it had to do with school. She remembers the bruises and the look in his eyes when she put a hand on his back.

She recognizes Hudson's parents from the football banquet as soon as they get to the hospital. She doesn't know what to tell them, so she fills them in on the facts of the attack and the bruises and exchanges cell phone numbers with Carole Hudson so she can get an update later.

She tells both of them she isn't sure what had happened, she honestly isn't, or at least she hopes she's wrong. They try to thank her, but that's the last thing she wants, if it's true, if she couldn't see that her friend is capable of something like this. So, she ignores their thanks, and tells them how important it is that he talks. She knows they already know that. Shannon takes her keys back from Evans and heads to the parking lot. She knows where she needs to go next. She's got a feeling she's not going to like the answers, but somebody sure as hell better start asking the questions.

**

Finn woke up in a hospital room filled with his mom, Burt, Kurt, and Sam. The last thing he remembered was the paramedics and his coach. He didn't like whatever they gave him; it had been too much like before. Shit, did he say anything to coach? She must think he's pathetic, losing it like that at school. Okay, he had to get everyone to stop looking at him, "What happened? Isn't Kurt supposed to be at school?" he said, hoping to distract them. Sam spoke up, "I called him when you collapsed. You really had us scared, man."

Kurt spoke up, "Finn Hudson, what is going on with you? Sam called me to tell me you'd collapsed at school and you have these horrible bruises."

"Kurt, back off a bit. We're all worried, but you're not making it easier on your brother," Burt said, putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Why don't you and Sam go help Blaine with the coffee, okay?" Finn knew there was no way Kurt was going to argue when his dad sounded that serious, but he relaxed just that much more when the two boys left.

"He's just trying to help. He was so upset when he heard you'd collapsed he didn't even trust himself to drive. Blaine brought him home," his mom said from her chair next to his bed. Finn smiled at that, he'd been worried when Kurt left for Dalton, but it seemed to be good for him.

Burt came up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders, looking down at Finn. "Your friend Sam told us about the bruises, kiddo, and about how you got upset at lunch. Now, something is wrong, and we can't help you fix it if you don't tell us what it is. We're a family now, Finn. We're in this together."

Finn just stared at the wall. He couldn't tell, could he? They'd been doing so good as a family and this would ruin everything. Still, it was getting harder and harder. He was scared and freaked out all the time. What if Mr. Schue came back to school? What if he tried to get him alone again? He looked up at his parents, and bit his lip. "Okay, but Burt has to promise to stay here with us instead of going after the person who did this to me. As cool as it was when you tried to take out Karofsky I need you here more."

"Of course he will," said his mom. Burt looked like he wasn't too sure, but finally he nodded.

Finn wasn't sure he could do this if he could see his mom's reaction so he picked a spot on the wall in front of him and took a deep breath.

"Saturday night I didn't want to interrupt your date. I didn't know where else to go so I went to see Mr. Schue. When I got there he'd been drinking, but he told me to stay. He gave me something to drink, but I think he put something in it. I was really dizzy and couldn't think straight. He wouldn't let me leave and he took me into his bedroom." He heard his mother gasp and Burt growl something about his hunting knife, but Finn didn't stop talking. He just kept focusing on that spot on the wall. If he stopped now he wasn't sure he'd be able to get it out.

"I was so stupid, I still thought he was worried about me and didn't want me to drive. That's when he started touching me. He kept telling me it was okay that I liked him, that I wanted him. I kept telling to him to stop, that it wasn't like that but he just kept going. I didn't want it, mom. It made me feel stuff, but I didn't want to. He just kept calling me all these pet names and kept going and he said it wouldn't hurt but it did. It hurt so much, mom. I think I passed out from the drugs. He wasn't there when I woke up. I was so scared. I don't want to be that kid. It's going to be on the news and now everyone will know how stupid I am."

Finn wasn't sure when he started crying, or when his parents had. His mom had taken his hand at some point and it felt good to know she was right there. She was an ER nurse here at the hospital, and she was pretty tough for a mom.

After a few deep breaths, she spoke. "Finny, sweetheart, look at me." She hadn't called him that in years, he forced himself to turn from the wall and look at them instead. His mom kept talking, "You are not stupid. Somebody who was supposed to take care of you hurt you and it was not your fault. Do you understand me? We are going to help you move past this and we are going to make sure that bastard doesn't hurt you or anyone else ever again."

Finn nodded, he wanted to believe her. He was still so confused, but he did feel better. It was almost like what happened at Schue's place had been filling up his head this whole time and by telling his parents he freed up a little space to think.

His mom squeezed his hand, interrupting his thoughts. "Finny, the doctor needs to come and check you out before we can go home okay? He's going to need to take pictures of your arms and any other bruises you have. He's also going to have to check to see if there is any damage where Mr. Schue hurt you. Do you understand what I mean? Do you think you can handle that? It's important."

Finn took a deep breath, "Yeah, I can do that. Can you stay?"

"Of course she will," Burt said, "I'm going to go send the other boys home. Finn, if it's okay with you I'd like to call Jimmy Larson, you remember him from the wedding? He's a detective with the Lima PD and I think that's the next step."

It was starting. More and more people were going to find out what happened to him, and soon the whole town would know. He shivered a bit, it was just so unfair. Burt must have been able to tell what he was thinking though, because he smiled a bit and said, "I trust Jimmy. He won't go running to the papers, but he will make sure Schuester doesn't get anywhere near another kid."

He still wasn't sure; couldn't they just deal with it? He just wanted to forget it ever happened, and now they were talking about police, and trials, and maybe being in the same room as Schue again. His hands began to shake again, but his mom wrapped both of them in hers and it helped him from falling into another attack.

"Look Finn, what if it wasn't you? If some guy hurt one of your friends like that you'd want to see him hauled off to jail. You deserve the same," Burt said.

Oh god, what if Schue hurt someone else? What if he already had? Burt was right, the guy should be behind bars. He nodded to his stepdad, "Okay, but can we talk to the detective guy at the house? I want to get out of here as soon as I can."

"Sure thing, buddy. I'll let the doctor do his thing and then we'll head out."

Finn spent the ride home from the hospital staring out the window, and trying to keep his mind blank. He was pretty sure Santana would say that wasn't much of a challenge, but Santana was really kind of a bitch sometimes. He'd managed not to freak out during the exam, his mom had found an old and totally not-hot lady doctor to do it and that had helped big time. It was also good news. Well, as good as it could be considering all the shit that had went down. He had some bruising of course, and a tiny bit of tearing but nothing he needed to worry about. They'd drawn some blood to see if there were any traces of the drugs Schue had given him and sent him home.

When they pulled into the garage he noticed his mom and Burt having one of those freaky conversations adults have when they don't say anything and then Burt turned around to talk to him. "Jimmy will be over here in a little while, but I think you and I should have a man-to-man talk first. Is it okay if we go up to your room?"

Honestly he was kind of relieved Burt wanted to talk to him at all. When he'd spent Sunday in his room by himself he'd just kept thinking of all the ways that people could hate him for this. Quinn would think he cheated on her. Rachel would be pissed about their chances at Nationals. A strong guy like Burt would think he was weak and pathetic. Puck would think he was gay, and then he'd upset Kurt trying to explain that he wasn't. Still, his mom had said it wasn't his fault, and his mom was really smart about this stuff, so maybe other people wouldn't think so either. Okay, so Rachel probably would still be pissed about Nationals, but maybe pissed at Schue instead of him? He shook himself out of his thoughts and nodded at Burt.

When they got to his room he sat on the edge of his bed and Burt took the desk chair across from him. Burt had taken his Reds cap off and was twisting it in his hands.

"Finn, I get that this is hard for you, and I'm not going to claim I have any idea what you are feeling. Before Jimmy comes, because I know he will ask and I want all of us to be prepared: Has Mr. Schuester ever touched you in a way that made you uncomfortable before?"

Finn hadn't expected that question. Maybe he should have, he had started watching Law and Order with Burt and Kurt and it seemed like the kind of thing the hot chick that's always with the angry dude would ask. He thought back, was there stuff he should have noticed? Sure, there were hugs, and pats on the back, a shoulder squeeze now and then. Nothing creepy though, nothing more than he would do with Sam or Puck. Oh shit, what if Schue had thought it was? His eyes widened, and he looked up at Burt. "No, nothing like that. I just was thinking how he kept saying that I wanted him. What if I've been sending all these signals when I thought it was just normal friendly stuff?"

Burt shook his head, and was quiet for a little bit before he spoke. "I don't think that's true, but it doesn't matter. Finn, nothing you could have done makes this okay. You need to believe me here. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you said no. Hell, if he had really thought you felt that way, if he'd really thought you wanted to do that with him, why would he drug you? It's not you. You didn't do or say anything. His head is fucked up and he took advantage of being your teacher. If you and your mom would let me I'd take the blowtorch from the garage over to his place right now and take care of things."

Finn started to protest, but Burt shook his head, "I know. We had a deal. 'Doesn't mean I'm not still thinking of ways to make him regret being born."

Okay, it was kind of cool having someone willing to stick up for him like this. There was still one thing he was worried about. Maybe if he talked to Burt he could get his head on straight before the detective guy showed up. "Burt, if I only like girls, and I'm pretty sure about that. Not that it's better or anything," he adds quickly, hoping Burt will understand he's not trying to say anything bad about liking guys, "that's just what I like, and I didn't want to do that with Schue, then why..." He looks at his shoes, if there can possibly be a worst part of what happened this is the part he most wants to keep secret, "Why did I, um, feel stuff?"

"Finn, you know I'm not the smartest guy in town. Hell, most of what I've told you so far comes from having Oprah on in the waiting room at the garage and having loved two strong, amazing, outspoken women. But, I have been a guy a lot longer than you and I hope you believe me when I tell you that sometimes it doesn't matter what our brain says or what's in our heart. Sometimes our bodies just do stuff because of the chemical reactions or whatever and it doesn't mean anything."

Oh, god. He wasn't a freak. It was just nature and stuff. Chemistry, he'd gotten a C- in chemistry, but he thought he understood anyhow. Burt really believed him. He let out the breath it seemed like he'd been holding since he'd told his parents the truth at the hospital. The older man carefully put a hand on his shoulder, "Kiddo, once we talk to the police stuff is going to start happening kind of fast. I think we need to tell Kurt what's going on so we can handle this as a family. I can tell him if you don't want to."

Finn shook his head, "No, I need to do this. Not as much as I told you, but yeah. Can you send him up here?"

"Sure thing. Your mom and I will be in the kitchen if you need us," Burt said and turned to leave. Finn pulled up the courage he had left and covered the hand Burt had on his shoulder with his own, "Thanks, dad."

He watched as Burt's eyes widened for a second and the corners of his mouth twitched just a bit, "Anytime, son."

***

Twelve minutes after leaving the hospital Shannon Bieste knocks on Will Schuester's door. She doesn't get any answer. "Will, it's Shannon. Open up." Still no answer. She lifts the planter outside the door to his apartment and shakes her head when she finds a spare key.

"I'm coming in whether you like it or not" she warns him, before turning the lock and opening the door.

The scent of stale booze is nearly overwhelming. She doesn't see Will but she does notice the pile of empty bottles on the coffee table and the McKinley high football jacket on the arm of the couch. She's tempted to turn around and leave right then.

Maybe she should. Maybe she should just turn around and go to the school board offices, to Figgins, or back to Hudson's parents with what she knows, but she needs to be sure. She needs more than some drugged up ramblings and a jacket to believe the man she thought was her friend could be such a monster.

She finally finds him sitting at the dining room table, which is covered with more empty bottles and what looks like several weeks worth of mail and ungraded Spanish assignments. He's wearing a pair of sleep shorts and no shirt and his eyes are glassy. He's shaking, whether from the cold or something else she's not sure. He's fiddling with something on his lap, but she can't see what it is from the doorway.

"You look like crap, Will," she says, and that's when he realizes she's there. He looks up at her, eyes only the slightest big sharper, "You shouldn't be here Shannon."

She ignores him. "Where've you been, Will? I just got back from the hospital. Finn Hudson had a severe panic attack when Evans noticed the bruises on his arms," she says, trying to gauge his reaction.

"Is he okay?" Will asks, still focused on whatever he's holding. Shannon's not here to play games, "You and I both know he's not."

Will shakes his head and swallows, his voice broken. "If you're looking for answers I don't have any. I can tell you I haven't been completely sober in weeks. Just carrying on a family tradition I suppose. It's not going to matter." He lifts his hands a few inches and her heart stops when she realizes the thing he's been holding is a gun.

When she manages to speak her voice is as tough as nails, it's her "do not fuck with me" voice and she hopes it's enough, "Put the gun on the table Will."

He just looks at her. Shakes his head a little bit and looks back at the gun in his hands. "I'm sick, Shannon and he trusted me. What I did, there is no forgiveness for. All I can see is his face, so confused and so scared. I can't live with what I've done."

It would be easier, she thinks to herself, if he had denied it. She could break his nose, call the cops and be done with it. This broken, guilt-ridden wreck of a man in front of her was not what she was expecting. She wonders if Hudson has told anyone yet, wonders if the police are on their way.

"He has to live with it, so you do too. Put the damn gun on the table, Will," she says quietly, staring him down. "That boy doesn't deserve any of this and he sure as hell doesn't deserve to deal with your death on top of it."

That seems to sink in. To her relief he carefully puts the gun on the table in front of him and she takes it, emptying it just like her father taught her when he took her to the range back home. He's still staring at her, still shaking.

"Now what?" he asks the question quietly, and she thinks for minute. "Put some clothes on. You're going to go turn yourself in. If you plead guilty the kid won't have to go through a trial, it will be easier on him." He nods and heads towards the bedroom. As soon as he's through the door her knees give out and she braces herself on the table. She hopes she made the right call.

Kurt must have ran up the stairs, because it's less than a minute before he's peaking in Finn's door trying to figure out if it's okay if he comes in. Finn is a little nervous about telling Kurt. It's not that Kurt isn't the best brother he could have, because he totally meant all that stuff at the wedding.

It's just that Kurt's been through so much stuff, real stuff. Not stupid stuff like him kissing Quinn or Rachel kissing Puck. He's taken all this real stuff and just kept going and the minute Finn had real stuff he freaked out and had to be taken to the hospital. Still, he needs to tell Kurt. It seems like every time he talks about it the whole thing sucks a little less anyway.

"Come on in, did Sam and Blaine leave?" Finn asks.

"Yeah, Blaine drove us both so Dad said he'll take me back to Dalton when I'm ready to go back," Kurt said.

"Can you miss a few days? They won't throw you out or anything will they?" The last thing they need is Kurt getting in trouble at Dalton because of Finn's stupidity.

"It's fine, they have policies for family emergencies. Can you stop stalling and tell me what the emergency is? If either Rachel or Quinn is pregnant you and I are going to have a serious discussion. My dad can get pamphlets," Kurt says, and Finn does a double take. As if he needs another thing to be scared of.

"Uh no. It's a little more serious than that, but thanks for the back-up nightmares. Seriously dude, can you let me talk? It's kind of one of those this shit changes everything deals, especially when people find out," Finn said, playing with the hem of his t-shirt before looking at Kurt.

He watched his step-brother's face change from curious to seriously worried, before Kurt nodded. "I'm sorry Finn, I won't interrupt. What happened?"

Finn rested his elbows on his knees, and dropped his head into his hands. He though for a minute about how much he wanted to tell. He knew he'd probably have to tell at least some of his friends, it's not like they wouldn't notice their teacher's sudden absence. There was stuff he'd rather only his parents and the police found out though. Nobody else needed to know about all the things Schue said and exactly what he did.

"On Saturday night I was bored and everyone else was busy so I went to see Mr. Schue. He was acting really weird, and he didn't want me to leave. He must have put something in my drink because I couldn't make him stop. I kept asking him to stop, but he had sex with me anyhow."

Kurt sat still for a minute; he looked like he was trying to understand what he'd been told before he spoke quietly. "Oh my god, Finn. Is it okay if I hug you?"

Finn nodded, and Kurt threw his arms around him holding him tightly. He could feel Kurt's body shaking a little and they both had tears running down their face. Finn just held on for a while, amazed again that he had so many people on his side. "I'm sorry. I know going over there and whatever was a stupid thing to do and now everything is ruined."

Kurt pushed back from him a little and looked up, "Finn Hudson, do I or do I not have a reputation for being, shall we say, painfully honest?"

"Well, yeah."

"Do I ever hesitate to let you know when I think you've done something stupid?" Kurt said, tears still running down his face.

"No way, dude."

"Good, then you need to believe me when I tell you that you are not stupid and this is not your fault. You were raped, Finn. Being a guy doesn't make it any more your fault than when it happens to a girl. That asshole didn't "have sex" with you. He drugged and raped you and he's going to rot in jail if one of us doesn't get to him first."

Raped. That's the word they've been dancing around all day, the one he's been avoiding in his head since it happened. Suddenly he can't think again, the blood is pounding in his head and it feels like it did in the equipment room, but this time Kurt is with him. Before the panic can take over his brother is there rubbing his back and telling him to breath in and out, counting seconds out loud as he goes. It takes longer than Finn would like, but sooner rather than later he's back to almost normal without anyone having to call an ambulance.

Without another word Kurt whips out his iphone and starts jabbing at it. "Dude, what are you doing?"

"You get a one day pass on calling me that. I'm googling untraceable poisons, Finn. Nobody pushes the Hummels around, and that goes double for people we choose to make Hummels."

"Uh, about that," Finn starts, glad to be able to change the subject, "Please don't be upset, I know I should have asked you if it was okay first, but when Burt was up here just now I kinda called him dad."

Finn was surprised to see Kurt's face light up like he'd just been told Dalton was getting rid of its uniform requirement. "That's fabulous Finn! No wonder he looked kind of happy when he came down. I know things were a little rocky at first, but I'm over it now and if you're cool with sharing your parent so am I." Kurt seemed to deflate a little then and Finn thought he looked a little sad. "Are you really okay with this?" he asked, "because if you aren't I can keep calling him Burt."

Kurt shook his head, "No Finn, that's not it. It's just I hope you won't be disappointed. You know I love your mom, but it's not the same for me. I'm not ready to call her mom yet, and I'm not sure I ever will be."

"Yeah, I get it. Totally your call man. Oh, I already made your dad promise not to kill Schue, and that goes for you too. It's gonna suck when the whole town knows what happened, but I'd rather have my family with me than in jail for revenge."

"You're no fun, and I make no promises about other people taking their shot. Puck is going to flip, and I think Coach Sylvester has been waiting for an excuse to take Shuester out for years," Kurt said.

Finn lets himself think about this for a minute, "Maybe we should let her." Finn's not completely sure he's joking.

"I think she can help though, at least in keeping you from being the center of town gossip for the next year. What we need is a disinformation campaign," Kurt explains.

"A disin-Huh?" Finn asked confused, he hates when Kurt starts to sound like Rachel.

"Lies, Finn. We lie through our teeth so nobody ever knows what really happened," Kurt explains.

"But what about the news and stuff. They eat this stuff up." Finn asks.

Kurt shakes his head, "Well, if my guess is right Sue Sylvester has some major blackmail on Rod Remington or someone else at the Lima television station, mostly because Sue Sylvester has blackmail material on just about everyone. As for the newspapers, well, have you ever noticed how on the top of some the biggest papers around here it says "An Anderson Syndicate Paper"?

"I only read the sports section and the comics." Finn said, wondering where all this is going.

"Well, given that I happen to be dating the grandson of that particular Anderson I think maybe something can be arranged. They'll still have to drag Schue through the dirt, but if nobody mentions the age or gender of the student in question the whole thing will blow over much faster," Kurt explained.

"Wow, do you think it could work? I mean here in Lima people will still think it's a glee kid, but it's still better if they don't know for sure." Finn said.

"I can get Mercedes and Tina to start some crazy rumors about why you left school today, an allergic reaction or something, but I think we do have to tell the club. They can help us spread lies and they are going to want to know what really happened with Schue. If they don't know the truth they might even try to defend him."

Whoa, he hadn't even thought about that. It's true though, a week ago if he'd heard some random rumor about Schue doing something like this he'd probably have punched someone. "You're right, and when they did I'd probably have another stupid panic attack. Okay, we'll tell them, and Blaine, and Coach Sylvester. She'd find out anyway probably."

Before they could make any more plans Burt's voice drifted up from the kitchen, "Boys, Jimmy's here. He needs to talk to Finn."

Kurt linked his arm around Finn's and asked, "Are you ready to handle this?"

Finn nodded, "Yeah, with you guys around it's not so bad."

Kurt was giving him that serious look again, "Finn, I can't claim I know what you are going through, but I do know what it's like to be scared. If you need to talk I'm here anytime."

Finn gave him a half smile and nodded before pulling Kurt down the stairs after him.

Burt and Jimmy were waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs, and both looked serious. Jimmy spoke first, "Will Schuester turned himself in about an hour ago. He gave a full confession and states that he intends to plead guilty when we get him in front of a judge tomorrow. He won't get bail. I still need a statement from Finn, but it looks like you won't have to testify in court."

Finn knew he'd have to tell the detective everything. That was how this kind of thing worked. He also knew that he didn't want Kurt to hear every creepy detail. "Um, Dad I want you to stay, but Kurt maybe you could go make some of those phone calls we talked about?" Kurt looked like he wanted to argue, but one look from Burt sent him on his way.

"When Finn is done I think you two better try to get some sleep, this has been a long day for everyone. I'll call you both off of school tomorrow and we'll figure out what comes next," said Burt and suddenly Finn was incredibly tired. As soon as Kurt was gone Burt turned to Finn, "You're doing the right thing, not telling Kurt the details. He doesn't need that in his head. Now, just tell Jimmy everything you remember and today will be over."

Finn leaned back on the couch, closed his eyes, and started to talk.


	3. 3

inn was pacing back and forth in the living room, checking the time on his phone every couple of minutes. The glee club was due at their house any minute so Finn and Kurt could talk to them. Earlier this morning he'd asked Kurt to go through his phone and delete all of his messages and texts just in case there was something from Schue. There wasn't, his messages were a combination of his friends worried about his health and Quinn chewing him out for not answering her texts. He still kind of wanted to shut it off and be left alone, but so far he felt strong enough to leave it on.

The doorbell rang right on time and Kurt marched past him, determined to be the one to answer the door. Finn stopped him on the way there and pulled him into a hug, he knew it would make him feel better and he really wasn't okay touching anyone but his family right now. Finn knew that he'd always been a fairly physical guy, throwing an arm around Sam's shoulders, or grabbing Brittany's hand to help her find the right classroom. Now, waiting for his friends he was dreading that their first instincts given his trip to the ER would be a hug, back slap, or what Puck would consider a manly shoulder squeeze, he really wished they'd kept their distance. He really wasn't sure after everything why Kurt was an exception, but they were getting along better than ever as brothers and he trusted the shorter boy completely.

Mercedes, Tina, and Mike were the first group to arrive, followed quickly by Sam, Blaine, Puck, and Santana. Rachel showed up a few minutes later, while Finn was helping Artie's dad lift his chair up the front steps. Finn and Kurt had talked for almost an hour this morning and in the end had decided that Brittany wasn't capable of keeping a secret. Neither of them were ready to trust Lauren, who was still good friends with Jacob Ben Israel. All their friends were sitting in the living room waiting for Quinn to arrive so they could get started.

Finn sat in the middle of the couch keeping his eyes mostly on the coffee table and was relieved when Kurt and Sam took the spots next to him. Sam wasn't the kind of guy to make a big scene, and he had been worried about Finn before so Finn leaned over and whispered, "When I'm done I need you to keep the girls from freaking out or trying to hug me, okay dude?"

Sam gave him a worried look, but nodded. Everyone was chatting among themselves when Quinn came in and stomped right over to Finn. She flicked her hair over her shoulder and started in on him in front of everyone, "What the hell were you thinking you idiot! You had to embarrass me in front of the whole school is that it? Freaking out and getting carted off in an ambulance. Allergic reaction? You're not allergic to anything Finn. It was in the health questionnaires for the baby! I was going to be prom queen and now you had to ruin everything!"

Finn couldn't move. He really didn't want to have another panic attack in front of his friends, and his mom was talking about getting him medication if he had more. All he could hear in his head were the things he'd been telling himself, now in her words "idiot", "what were you thinking", "ruin everything". It just kept playing over and over.

He felt Kurt launch himself towards Quinn and while that would be an awesome fight he really needed help breathing more. "Kurt, count for me. Breathing. Please," he managed to get out and in second his stepbrother was back beside him helping him breath. It took Finn a minute to realize that when Kurt had changed directions Sam and Mercedes had stood up instead.

"I don't hit girls, but I'm pretty tempted right now. Is there anybody you won't use to get what you want?" Sam said, putting himself between Finn and Quinn.

"I'll hit her," Mercedes chimed in, "What the hell are you doing? We don't even know what happened yet, but you aren't stupid Quinn. Finn's having panic attacks, he looks like hell." Finn acknowledged her aside of "Sorry baby, but you do." with a small smile, and continued leaning on Kurt. She doesn't stop there, "If that wasn't enough, the fact that Kurt is here and both their parents are off work might tip you off that this is big. That is if you were capable of thinking of anybody but yourself and a damn tiara this year. Now sit down and shut up, if Finn still wants you stay."

It takes a while before Finn is breathing normally again and everyone seems fine with letting him take his time. Now more than ever he's feeling the exhaustion that hasn't quite left him over the last few days. He has however realized a few things over the last few minutes. First, Sam is an awesome friend and he really owes him an apology for the whole kissing Quinn thing. Second, both of them are better off without Quinn, who is kind of being a bitch. The third thing he realizes shakes him up a little bit, and it's that Mercedes is kind of hot, especially when she's angry. He's shaken first because he can't believe he's even thinking like this right now, and second because he's been stuck in this Quinn - Rachel - Santana- Rachel- Quinn loop so long it kind of sneaks up on him that there are other girls out there. He's also slightly annoyed that Puck got there first, but he's used to that. Besides, Mercedes is too smart to have let Puck get much of anything other than her coffee.

Kurt squeezes his arm and it brings him back to the group in front of him. Quinn is now sitting by herself in a chair off to the side of the room, arms crossed and Rachel looks like Christmas has come early. Oh right, he thinks, not Christmas, maybe Hanukkah or something? Either way he is definitely not making eye contact with her.

"Are you okay, man?" Sam asks him, leaning over and Finn hates himself a little bit for leaning away but he can't really help it. He manages a small nod and looks at Kurt on his other side, "Can you start? I need to tell them the big thing, but maybe if you start it'll be easier."

"Of course," Kurt says, squeezing his arm again before standing up. "Let's be clear, you are here because you are Finn's friends. Something bad has happened and he needs you. He also needs you to keep what he's about to tell you to yourself. Finn is putting a lot of trust in you. Brittany isn't here because she doesn't always understand how to lie, not because we don't trust her. If any of you have a problem with lying to strangers to protect Finn you can leave now."

Everyone looked around to see if anyone was going to leave until finally Rachel spoke, "Kurt, am I right in assuming your parents know?"

Kurt nodded, "Thank you Rachel, that's a good question. Yes, our parents know and the proper authorities have been notified. We'd be lying to keep the gossip down, the situation itself is being dealt with."

"Okay, I'm in. Lying is just another type of performance after all," Rachel said, and Finn just shakes his head about how predictable her response is.

"Why is prep school here?" Puck asks, and every eye in the room shifts to Blaine. Finn can tell Blaine is trying very hard not to look intimidated, and he does a good job of pulling it together and saying "Kurt supports Finn, I support Kurt. My grandfather's connections are also proving fairly useful in protecting Finn."

His answer earns him small smiles from Kurt and the girls and reluctantly impressed nods from Puck and Artie.

"This isn't going to be easy to hear and it's really important not to interrupt. When Finn's done we'll talk about presenting a united front around town, " Kurt explains, "Finn are you ready to tell them?"

"Ready to get it over with anyhow. Okay guys, a few nights ago you were all busy and I was bored so I figured I'd go visit Mr. Schue. When I got there he wasn't really acting like himself, he'd been drinking and he really didn't want me to leave. He gave me something to drink, but he put something in it. The police told mom and dad this morning it was one of his ex-wife's really strong tranquilizers. I was feeling really dizzy and Mr. Schue said I shouldn't drive," he paused for a minute to gather his strength and felt Kurt squeeze his arm in support, nobody else made a sound.

"I just kept getting weaker and weaker, and I couldn't do anything you guys. I tried. I kept telling him to stop, but he wouldn't. He..." Finn shook his head; the words really wouldn't come out this time. He knew he should use the r-word, but he just couldn't say it, not with everyone looking at him. "Kurt, please."

Kurt tightened his grip on his arm and faced the group again, "Will Schuester is pleading guilty to aggravated sexual assault of a minor and several other charges."

There was a muttering of reaction before Rachel bolted out of her seat and ran for the restroom with a hand over her mouth Mercedes following to help her muttering something about hiding bodies. Mike was doing his best to comfort Tina, despite not looking very calm himself, Blaine had moved to put a hand on Kurt's shoulders, and Santana seemed to be discussing methods of castration with a rather angry looking Puck. Quinn had gotten up from her chair and headed towards the couch, but thanks to the combined glares of Sam and Kurt she wandered over in Artie's direction instead where the dark haired boy reluctantly opened his arms.

Sam turned slightly in his seat and asked, "So the bruises on your arms?"

"Yeah. Where he held me down," Finn said quietly.

"And not the only place he hurt you either," Sam said with a sigh.

"No."

"Shit, Finn. And you got up on Monday morning and came to school?"

"Stupid, huh?"

"Actually, I was thinking brave as hell. What can we do to help you?"

Finn sat for a minute, unsure of how to react. Sam thought he was brave, and he hadn't even been able to finish telling everyone what happened. "Kurt and I have a plan, but you are already helping," he said putting up his fist and giving a small smile when Sam returned the fist bump.

When Rachel and Mercedes returned from the bathroom Finn was ready to talk again. "I know there are a lot of things you guys don't understand, there are a lot of things about this I don't understand. I don't know how he could do this, I don't know if he planned it, or if I just happened to be there. I never thought about something like this happening before, you never hear about guys getting raped except in prison."

"Finn, if it's okay with you I know some general stuff. Dalton made us attend a sexual assault awareness seminar as part of junior orientation." Blaine said, and Finn nodded for him to continue, "I remember being shocked when they told us that 1 in 10 rape victims are male, and that is just what gets reported."

Everyone seemed to think about that for a minute or two, before Artie spoke up, "I thought Schue was straight? I mean, he was married and Miss Pillsbury told everyone he was easy. What's that about? Is he gay?"

Kurt stiffened a little at Finn's side and both Finn and Blaine scooted a little closer to him. "I can't really speak to what gets the bastard off, but rape isn't really about sex. It's about power and control."

"So if he's already in jail, which means I can't pound his head in with a baseball bat for messing with Finn, what do we do now?" Puck asked, looking like he really liked the baseball bat plan.

"I already made my family promise not to take things into their own hands and you can't either. He's not worth it. He's going away for a long time and he'll never be around kids again." Finn said, remembering what Jimmy had told them when he'd stopped by this morning.

Kurt seemed to find his feet again and took over the discussion as they had planned. "What you can do for Finn is give him physical space and make sure other people do to. By the time the six o'clock news airs everyone is going to know that William Schuester drugged and raped a teenager. They will not know who it is or even if it was a male or female. Our job is to keep it that way."

Kurt and Finn spent the next couple of minutes outlining the story they would stick to whenever they were asked about Schue and how they were keeping the media away. After assuring his friends that he was going to talk to a professional, at least a couple of times, they agreed that they wouldn't mention anything to do with Schue unless Finn brought it up first. They had just about wrapped things up when Rachel stood up. Finn could tell she was really nervous about what she had to say, and he had a pretty good idea what it was. "It's okay Rachel. I know what you want to ask, go ahead."

Rachel gave him a small smile, "We are all going to do everything we can to help Finn, but Nationals is in a month. We don't have a coach."

"Or a male lead. I'm sorry guys, but it just freaks me out too much right now to sing. Just, with some of the stuff he said it's creepy, and then just too many reminders," Finn said, glad it was finally out there.

"Forget about it. You need to do what works for you," Sam said, "Puck and I can cover your parts but if you change your mind it's all yours."

"But we're still one member short," Mike said, not moving his arms from around Tina.

"Not if Noah can keep Lauren around. I'll be back on Monday. You guys need me, Finn needs me, and part of my deal with Coach Sylvester means I'm now Head Cheerio which should offer me enough protection from the lower level meatheads," Kurt explained before being engulfed in a hug by Mercedes, Tina, and surprising Santana.

"What about your boy-toy?" Santana asked, raising an eyebrow at Blaine.

The curly headed boy laughed, before pulling Kurt into hug of his own, "I'm not letting him get away that easy, it took me long enough to come to my senses. We'll figure it out. Besides, those Cheerio uniforms are hot!"

"Whoa, TMI dude. That's my brother you're talking about!" Finn said, and was relieved to see the resulting laughs eased some of the tension in the room.

Kurt just shook his head, "Okay, well now that we've cleared that up I think we're done here. My dad talked to the head of the school board today, and while Miss Pillsbury is taking a few weeks personal leave they've arranged for a professional counselor to come in if anyone needs to talk. We've been promised it is completely confidential. Finn will be back at school tomorrow after his allergic reaction. "

Sam stood up from his spot on the couch and made eye contact with each of the guys, plus Santana. When he got what he was looking for he turned to Finn, "We've got your back, bro. You aren't alone, and when Kurt comes back on Monday nobody is going to mess with either of you."

Finn nodded and quietly thanked them as his friends began to leave in small groups. He didn't want to deal with Quinn right then so he slipped up the stairs leaving Kurt to show the rest of the club out.

When Finn pulled into the McKinley High School parking lot the next day he was relieved to see Sam waiting on the tailgate of his truck. Finn parked next to him and pulled his hoodie closer around himself as he got out of the car. He really wished that Kurt had been able to come back today, but the transfer paperwork just couldn't be done that fast despite Coach Sylvester's best efforts.

"You ready to do this?" Sam asked pulling Finn out of the flow of traffic as they walked through the side entrance of the school.

"Not really, but if I'm gone too long people will notice. I'm supposed to go see that new therapist lady Dr. McKenna during what used to be my Spanish class," Finn said. He really wasn't sure about this shrink thing, but he didn't want to go into Schue's classroom either. He thought it was pretty weird that Ms. Pillsbury got more time off to deal with this than he did, but he supposes that her ties to the creep were pretty public.

Will Schuester's face had been all over the news the night before. Finn hadn't wanted to see the reports, but his mom and dad were keeping a close eye on the coverage. The Lima, Toledo, and Dayton channels had picked it up right away, but by eleven o'clock Blaine had called to say it was all over the Columbus stations as well. Any McKinley student who hadn't seen the early coverage had certainly received enough texts, IMs, and Facebook messages to find the coverage either on the screen or online. It was going to be a tough day for everyone in glee.

"You and Hummel are tough as hell, coming back here in all this," Sam said. Finn could tell he was trying not to be too obvious in scanning the crowd for problems, even though he was failing miserably. He still appreciated the thought.

"Look dude, things are going to get worse before they get better and I know you've got our back. I want to say I'm sorry for kissing Quinn when she was with you. I know how crappy it feels when Quinn cheats on you and it was kind of a douche move to do it someone else. I'm pretty much done with her after yesterday, in fact I'm totally done with girls trying to date me to be popular. No hard feelings if you want to take another shot though." Finn said.

Sam shook his head, "No way. I learned my lesson with her."

Before Sam could say anything else the unmistakable voice of Azimio broke over the crowd, "Hey, losers! Which one of your girlfriends got sick of waiting for you to grow a dick and spread her legs for Schuester instead?"

In retrospect, Finn figured that white hot rage was a nice break from the fear he'd been carrying around for the last couple days. In the moment, however, there was only the sound of the heal of his hand connecting upward with Azimio's nose, the feeling of somebody who might have been Puck pulling him back when the other boy started bleeding, and the look on Coach Sylvester's face when she grabbed a still gushing and disoriented Azimio's collar and started dragging him down the hallway.

"Well, I think he'll be busy for a while. That was killer Finn, how did you do that?" Sam said, both he and Puck looking startled but impressed.

"Kurt's friend Wes knows Krav Maga. He's been teaching Kurt a little self defense and we were practicing last night after you guys left, " Finn explains with a slightly embarrassed shrug.

"That's bad ass, do you think Hummel can teach us?" Puck asked, "You didn't even bruise your hand!"

Finn gave him a look, "Self-defense only, Puckerman." Finn couldn't help but laugh as Puck put his hands up trying to look like his intentions were completely innocent.

When the three boys arrived at Finn's locker Coach Bieste was waiting, "I've got it from here, you two can go to class. I need a word with Hudson."

Finn wasn't quite sure what had happened in the ambulance once the paramedics had given him that shot, but he appreciated his coach staying with him on the way to the hospital. "Hey coach, thanks for helping me out with my allergic reaction the other day," Finn said, sticking with the cover story he and Kurt had created yesterday.

Okay, so this was obviously Coach Bieste's "I can't believe you're trying to sell me this bullshit" face. "Hudson, let's go to my office, " she said and Finn knew an order when he heard one, so he followed along nodding to Mike and Tina when they passed him, hands joined and faces serious. When they arrived at the office Coach Bieste went around to the other side of her desk and picked up a large paper shopping bag from the floor.

"You can leave the door open if you want. I thought you might want this back," she said and reached into the shopping bag to pull out his letter jacket. He reached out to take it, and he could feel his hands shaking. The last time he had seen it was that night, when Schue told him he couldn't drive home. He made himself take the jacket and looked up at his coach. "How?" he asked quietly.

"The police were done with the place and I found myself with a key," she said. She obviously knew what had happened, but he'd figured all the teachers would. Finn couldn't say why, but it seemed like she was doing that thing adults do when they don't lie but they don't quite tell the truth either.

"You've talked to him." Finn said. It wasn't a question.

Coach sunk into the chair behind her desk and let out a small huff of air, "Not since he confessed. Hudson, if you want the story I'll tell you, because you of all people deserve it. I'm warning you now, though. It might be better if you don't know."

He knew Coach didn't say things she didn't mean, and maybe she had a point. He knew what happened that night and so did the people that mattered. Before he left this morning his mom had told him just to take things one day at a time. Today he had enough to deal with. "Okay, I'm not gong to ask now. Can I ask you if I ever change my mind?"

She nodded, "Of course. The bell is going to ring pretty soon, but if things start to make you crazy you can always hide out in my office for a while. Nobody will question my quarterback meeting with me."

Well, that was good. Most of the places he'd normally hang out like the choir room or the auditorium were too close to the problem. He picked up his jacket from the chair and tossed his backpack over his shoulder on his way out the door. "Thanks, coach." he said, putting his normal cheerful expression on as he headed for the hallway.

"Hang in there, Hudson."

By lunchtime Finn was kind of surprised by how well things were going. Yeah, there were whispers everywhere he went and even his teachers were barely managing to keep it together. The only faculty members that didn't treat him like there was a five foot wide force field around him were Coach Bieste and Sue Sylvester. With the others it seemed like a mix of gloating, betrayal, or or fear that they too would somehow be unable to control themselves in Finn's presence. It didn't bother him that much though, at least it meant he wasn't being called on in class.

Even his visit with Dr. McKenna had been okay. She'd told him that they didn't have to talk about what had happened right away unless he wanted to. Instead she had asked him about his family and he spent the entire period talking about how great his mom was while he was growing up and how he'd ended up with Kurt as a step-brother.

Finn knew his friends were doing their best to not freak out for his sake, but he knew they would have to let it out eventually. He had seen Brittany crying on Artie's shoulder earlier. He felt bad that she had to find out about it on the news, but even Santana had agreed that it was for the best. Lauren seemed to be the only member of the glee club nobody was considering as the victim, but that probably had more to do with the fact that she ripped the door off her locker this morning when someone mentioned the news than anything personal.

His luck ran out, however, when he got to the library. He was supposed to spend the period he would normally have glee studying. Quinn was waiting at the door, her crossed arms holding her Geometry book in front of her chest like a shield.

"Quinn, what are you doing here?" he asked, even though he knew the answer.

"I wanted to talk to you about yesterday. I didn't know, how could I?" she asked.

Finn shook his head, he'd thought a lot last night about what he wanted to say to her. "It doesn't matter that you didn't know, Quinn. Even if it was just an allergic reaction you should have been more worried about me than the gossip. Coach had to call an ambulance."

She was doing that thing where she looked up at him and made her eyes all big and sad. He wasn't falling for it this time. "Cut the crap Quinn, I'm tired of being some trophy you and Rachel fight over. I'm finished playing games."

If he wasn't sure that the wide-eyed thing was an act before he certainly is now. It takes her about three seconds to go from that to what he's come to call "Scary Quinn" . "What exactly are you saying, Finn?" she hissed at him.

He watched her look around to see if anyone had noticed them, and he can't help thinking about how typical it is. "I'm saying we're over, and you should find another date to prom."

For a minute he thinks she's going to slap him, but then she seems to remember that people are watching and with a flip of her hair she storms back into the hallway. He doesn't even watch her go.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for asshole jocks saying some horrible things in this chapter.

veryone was pretty quiet at dinner, and Finn was okay with that since was pretty worn out. He knew he wasn't the only one, both of his parents had gone back to work today and the scandal at McKinley was all anyone wanted to talk about. Still, he'd told them some of the stuff that had happened at school, like breaking Azimio's nose. Kurt was annoyed that nobody had gotten it on video and his dad tried to keep a straight face during a rather short "violence doesn't solve anything" lecture.

His mom didn't even bother to try to look sad when he announced he was done with Quinn, "Oh honey, she was always so mean to you. You can do better than either of them." From the look on her face Finn gathered that slipping her opinion on Rachel in was actually an accident, but he didn't mind too much. Finn just went back to his meatloaf while Kurt snickered about mothers knowing best under his breath and tried not to get caught texting at the table.

To keep up the lie about his allergic reaction he was actually trying to make up homework from the days he missed. He was doing okay until he got to his geography assignment. It had something to do with identifying exports and the amount of money each country made. He was sure there was something in his textbook about it but he couldn't find it. Mercedes was in his class though, and he still hadn't thanked her for standing up to Quinn for him.

Message From: Finn

Got a minute? I don't get this geography thing.

Message From: Mercedes

No prob. What question?

Message From: Finn

Chapter 12, question 5.

Message From: Mercedes

Look on page 382.

Finn checked the page and shook his head, there was the answer staring him in the face. He picked up his phone and typed "thank you", and then he thought for a minute before adding

"Thanks for yesterday too, you were pretty awesome. Quinn = history."

Message From: Mercedes

Seriously my pleasure. Are you doing okay?

He sat there for a bit looking at the message and trying to decide what to say when his phone beeped again.

Message From: Mercedes

Sorry, you don't have to tell me.

Somehow, talking to Mercedes about this was easier than he'd expected. Maybe it was because he didn't have to see her reactions, or maybe because he knew she was on his side.

Message From: Finn

24 hours without a panic attack. I am the man ;-) Nightmares suck though. Sometimes I think about hurting him.

Message From: Mercedes

No kidding with the nightmares. Thinking of hurting him has gotta be normal. I want to hurt him. Was it all a lie?

Message From: Finn

If you figure that out let me know.

Message From: Mercedes

I'm sorry. You shouldn't be talking just because I want to. Do you want to crash movie night with Kurt and I on Saturday?

Message From: Finn

It's cool, and beautiful woman usually get what they want. Yes on movies, just pick something in English?

He was pretty psyched that he managed to slip that in there. He was well aware that despite his string of girlfriends he didn't have much game other than the number on his jersey. Finn figured telling the truth was a good plan; he didn't think Mercedes was really the kind of girl that other stuff would work on anyhow. He liked talking to her, trying to flirt with her. It made him feel normal.

Message From: Mercedes

You got it. Goodnight Finn.

Okay, so maybe a little bit of trying to be cute wouldn't hurt.

Message From: Finn

ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**L**

Finn tossed and turned all night. He hated sleeping; the dreams wouldn't leave him alone. Sometimes it would be too much like what actually happened and other times it would be completely different. That was actually worse. In those dreams it would happen in the choir room, the showers in the boy's locker room, or at that spot in the auditorium where he and Rachel had their picnic. Those nightmares just added more places that messed with his head. If he was really unlucky he would wake up and freak out when his body didn't respond right way. It was just the second or two it took for his sleepy brain to coordinate movement, but it reminded him of how it felt to have the drugs take over and he hated it.

**L**

It was finally Friday and Finn had never been so grateful for a week to be over, he was exhausted. He had made it through the day without having a panic attack or breaking any more of his classmate's bones. Puck may have had something to do with Jacob Ben Israel spending the day locked in the boiler room, but the "Who was it?" poll on his blog was really not cool. Sam stepped in after sixth period and delivered the loser from the boiler room to Coach Sylvester. The last time Finn had seen him half of his head had been shaved and he was getting kicked out of the library for sobbing too loudly while taking down his website. When Finn reached the door to Dr. McKenna's office Rachel came out, thanking the doctor and clutching a tissue.

He knew this was coming. With everything between them kind of crazily tangled up in glee they really couldn't go forever and not talk about it. He was kind of glad she had talked to Dr. McKenna though, the therapist her dads had hired quit after Rachel had attempted to stalk that chick from Wicked during her family's annual trip to New York City.

Finn took a deep breath and put a hand on her shoulder, "Come with me? To talk?" She nodded, and he thought for a minute before walking her down the hall and into Coach Bieste's office. He couldn't risk being overheard, and coach had offered.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She sniffled a bit. "Really, Finn? Shouldn't I be asking you that question? Certainly my plans to secure admittance to a top tier performing arts program have been threatened by our lack of a director for Nationals, but even I'm not selfish enough to think that is the big picture here."

"Rachel, I think you are really making progress in thinking about other people," he teased.

"Do you really think so? I would like my future biographer to describe me as gracious."

He couldn't help but shake his head, sometimes she is just so Rachel it's awesome.

"Seriously though, you were pretty upset at my house the other night."

She looked up at him and bit her lip, "I just don't understand. I guess I'm still attempting to reconcile the monster who would hurt you like that with the man who fought so hard for Artie to have a bus, taught Brittany the alphabet, and sat for hours at the hospital with Kurt."

"That's the hardest part. I'm not saying I'd be over it if it had been some stranger, but I don't how a guy just decides to do this out of nowhere."

She gave him a sad smile, "That's because you are a good person Finn, you could never hurt someone that badly."

"But that's what scares me, because you would never think Schue could've either until he did." Oh hell, he hadn't even realized that this was something that was bothering him until now. They seemed so much alike before all this happened. What if he was capable of something like this and just didn't realize it? What if everyone was?

She looked at him for a minute before she spoke. "Finn, no. Please believe me when I say I have full confidence that you are a good person. I trust you, so much that I'm going to tell you something that scares me about all this."

"What's that?" He asked, wondering what she would say.

"I worry that if it had been me instead of you that he hurt…..well, I wonder if everyone would've been so quick to believe me, " she said and he instantly feels like his heart is going to break all over again. He pulls her into a hug and places a kiss on the top of her head, "I would've believed you, Rachel. Even if I think we are better off as friends than something more. I believe in you. I believe you are going to find a way to kick ass at Nationals and the rest of the club does too, even if they won't admit it."

"Thank you, Finn," she said, "I believe you are supposed to visit Dr. McKenna now. Isn't it time?"

"Oh crap, I'm late. I think I figured out some stuff talking to you though. She'll be cool with it, thanks Rachel." He leads her out of the office, and starts jogging down the hall.

When Finn realized that the news coverage had gone national sometime on Friday it honestly didn't matter that much to him. After all, almost everyone he knew lived in Allen County and most of them lived within the Lima city limits. He was forced to consider a few exceptions when Mike Chang showed up to Hummel Tire and Lube that evening while Finn was helping out with oil changes and answering the phone.

"Hey Mike, something wrong with the Accord?" Finn asked. Mike always told the guys how much he hated driving his mom's old car, it wasn't exactly cool.

"The junk heap is fine. Actually I need to talk to you for a few minutes, um, about the news and your allergic reaction," Mike said, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.

Finn sighed, it seemed like he was required to have a heart to heart with everyone in glee club. "I'd really rather not, but I'm sure you can see Dr. McKenna on Monday if you want. I know it's messed up for you guys too."

Mike shook his head, "Not like that, I wouldn't come here to drop something like that on you. It's just that Matt called me, he saw Schue's mug shot on CNN. Damn vultures just eat this stuff up."

Damn, he really hadn't kept in touch with Matt since his dad took that job in Texas last summer. "Oh, shit, I didn't think of that. I should have told him before he saw it on the news."

"Finn, it's not on you to make this easier on anyone else. Maybe I should've called him, but I didn't think he'd ever hear about it. He's freaked and worried about us and he wants the whole story but I told him I needed to get permission to tell him."

Finn reached up and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. It seemed like every day there was someone else who had to know. He kept wondering how long it would be before the truth got out. He trusted Matt, of course he did. Hell, Matt and the others had chosen Glee over football even when Finn hadn't. "Okay, you can tell him. Thank you. I mean for asking."

"Yeah, nobody wants to make this harder on you. You know we've got your back, but are you sure you don't want to go to Nationals with us?"

"I can't believe you were the first one, dude. Seriously, even Rachel hasn't tried yet. I've got to get back to work, " Finn said, and headed for an old Chevy in the far bay that needed some basic work done. He'd learned enough over the last couple months to actually help around the shop and working in the garage paid a hell of a lot better than Sheets N Things.

And wow, he did not need to start thinking about Sheets N Things, because now he was thinking about Mrs. Schue who is probably really glad she went back to her old name. Puck said he heard from one of the girls at the store that he used to hook up with that she had quit the day the news broke and left town for her parent's place down in Florida. At least somebody could run away from this. He couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever been afraid of her husband or if she was just as shocked and confused as everyone else.

Finn shook his head, this wasn't helping. He tried to clear his head and talk himself through the steps Burt had taught him for this repair. He was determined to only let his mind drift to what movie Kurt and Mercedes were going to pick for tonight.

**L**

Now that she was single Rachel Berry had turned her attention back to her destiny. Friday nights that had once been reserved for dates were now reserved for extra ballet rehearsal. She had just finished executing her latest routine to her own satisfaction when she noticed he light on her phone flashing. A serious performer always rehearsed with as few distractions as possible and for Rachel that included silencing her cell phone.

She retrieved her water bottle from the top of the piano and sat on the bench, scrolling to see who the voicemail had come from. Technically she was breaking her own rules about phone use during practice, but she told herself that if Finn needed her during this difficult time it was her duty to be available. Except it wasn't Finn's number on the caller id, instead it was a number she hadn't seen in nearly a year.

She considered deleting the message without even listening, certainly she had every right to do so. Still, she knew why he was calling. Even if her daddy hadn't taken her aside before she left and told her the story had been on CNN it was only a matter of time before a former teammate called him to revel in the destruction of New Directions. She figured that even if he was callous enough to call to gloat she could use it to motivate her fellow glee clubbers against Vocal Adrenaline. She pressed the speed dial for her voicemail and bit her lip while it cycled through the standard opening, it wasn't until his voice came through that she realized this was a very different call then she'd expected.

"Oh God. Rachel please call and let me know you're okay. I just got out of rehearsal. I've been cast as Billy Flynn, of course, and someone had the news on in the lounge and it was Schuester and they said sexual assault of a student and oh my God Rachel. I know you don't want to hear from me but I need to know it wasn't you. I'll kill him. I will. What kind of sicko... Please, just call me."

She shook off her shock long enough to press the correct buttons to save the message and end the call before deciding she had definitely rehearsed enough for the evening and started to gather her things. She'd never heard Jesse sound like that before. He sounded lost and angry and worried all at the same time. He hadn't called to gloat, he'd called because he was worried about her.

Rachel chose not to kid herself into thinking his deception last year had left her any wiser in matters of the heart, her dalliances with Noah and Blaine were glaring examples of her lack of judgement on these matters. Still, it wasn't like he was asking for forgiveness, and he hadn't even mentioned Nationals, which may have shocked her more than anything else had his voice not sounded so raw. She picked up her phone from where she had set it on the bench next to her and scrolled through her contacts until she came to his number. It was late now, but it was earlier in Los Angeles, and she didn't think he'd mind either way. He picked up in the middle of the first ring, as if he'd been sitting waiting for his phone to ring.

"Rachel? I wasn't sure you would call, thank you. Are you okay?" he said, and she felt a little flicker of heartbreak again at the sound of his voice.

"I wasn't going to, but you sounded so...different, " she said, pulling at the material of the sweatshirt she had slipped on over her leotard.

"Rachel, please. Just tell me." Right, he was worried and she was drawing it out. She should just tell him and they could get back to their lives.

"It wasn't me, Jesse. It wasn't me, but it's really awful. All of it." She hates the idea of crying in front of him now, of showing him any weakness. She can't really help it though, she's been trying not to do this too much for Finn's sake, but it's just her in the empty studio with her phone and she can let go if she wants.

"It was one of you." It's not a question, and she doesn't feel the need to answer. He's not done. "That son of a bitch raped one of you. I knew he had issues, the touching and the inappropriate interest in your personal lives. I thought he was just an idiot trying to relive his own high school days. Fuck."

"I can't tell you who, nobody can know." She knows that she has to clear it with Finn first and that he's not going to be happy.

"Yeah, okay." He surprises her again with his attitude. "If the person is okay with it I'd like to know what happened. I'd also like to help."

"Help? How can you help? Why would any of us trust you?" She can hear a thud in the background on his end, like he's thrown something at the wall.

"I get it. Look Rachel, I know you. I know you are taking all the responsibility for the club and trying to deal with this. You'll find a faculty member willing to take the club to New York, you know you will, but none of you know the first thing about Nationals."

"Why would you help us compete against Vocal Adrenaline?" She's mocking him, just a bit. She's proud of herself for it too.

"The first thing you learn when you get to college is that nobody gives a shit about who you were in high school. You get over it pretty quickly. I'm not Jesse St. James from Carmel anymore, I'm a nobody from UCLA and I want to do the right thing for once. My semester ends next week and I'll be home soon. You can call me anytime, for that or if you just need to talk to someone."

"I need to think about this, and I need to talk to some of my teammates. Even if I decide to trust you they are not going to be easily convinced. We as a group are rather reticent to place our trust in anyone right now as you might imagine." She can't fathom what she could possibly say to the club about this. She's not sure how she feels about it yet herself.

"That's fair. I have some other things that I would like to say to you, but I need to do that in person so they'll have to wait. You know how to reach me, I hope you'll call. Goodnight Rachel."

He hangs up before she can respond and she rolls her eyes. She packs all of her things into her dance bag and takes a swig of her water. She won't get much sleep tonight, and in the morning she needs to call Kurt.

**L**

Finn spent most of Saturday morning catching up on his homework. Normally it was the last thing he wanted to do, but it was turning out to be a pretty good distraction. If he kept this up he may actually get good enough grades to go somewhere other than the local community college.

Every so often he was aware that Kurt had spent most of the morning on the phone. Little snippets of conversation would float between their rooms while Finn tried to guess who his stepbrother was on the phone with. He could tell when Blaine called because despite Kurt closing the door to his room he was pretty sure he could hear his stepbrother giggling every so often. Finn decided to play some music for a while, he wasn't really trying to eavesdrop, he'd just wanted to make sure Kurt was doing okay.

Finn couldn't help but feel guilty that Kurt was coming back to McKinley. Kurt had told him more than once that he had lots of reasons for coming back, but Finn still felt responsible. It had been kind of cool these last couple weeks to see Kurt so happy, and he figured it would probably suck to be at a different school so far away from someone you were dating.

The next couple calls were harder for Finn to figure out. He could hear Kurt talking to someone and it sounded like they were either playing a video game or doing history homework. The little bits of conversation he could hear involved "strategic locations" and a lot of talk about "Distraction Plan W". Whatever the second one was must have been a big deal because it seemed like Kurt was talking to several different people about it.

When Finn heard the first few bars of "Anything You Can Do" from that movie about the chick with the gun that Rachel made him watch last year he knows that it's her calling. He's also pretty sure that she has no idea that's Kurt's ring tone for her. There must be something going on because Kurt's voice is not only getting louder but has gone up in pitch. Over the last two years he's been able to pinpoint that as a warning bell for trouble and drama.

It's easier to hear what Kurt is saying now, and he thinks he can make out the words "St. Douche" and "eggs" and "he offered to what?"

Now Finn has pretty much heard all the cute little "fries short of a happy meal", "not the sharpest crayon in the box", and "the lights are on but nobody's home" phrases where he's not supposed to figure out people are calling him dumb, but even he can figure out that Rachel has somehow heard from Jesse. He and Puck had come up with the St. Douche thing themselves after all. It doesn't take much to put this together with Mike's visit yesterday and figure out that St. James is looking for dirt. Finn got up and moved down the hall, closer to Kurt's room. Yeah, Kurt will be pissed, but they are talking about him after all. Well, sort of.

He hears Kurt ask "So what did you tell him?" and listen to her answer before saying "Okay, that's good." Rachel must have said something else because Kurt is saying "I guess it wasn't that hard to figure that part out." and "No, we aren't even going ask him until we figure out if Jesse is for real." Finn relaxed a little bit, it was one thing for his friends to know, but telling a guy that was basically his worst enemy was something else. He focused again just in time to hear Kurt tell Rachel to "give him ten minutes to grovel and then kick his pompous ass to the curb." Finn really wasn't sure what that word meant, but he didn't think Blaine would like Kurt describing other guys asses . He'd keep that part to himself.

The conversation must have switched gears because Kurt was talking about that "Distraction Plan W" again. His stepbrother seemed to be getting frustrated with Rachel and he thought he heard Kurt snort before saying "Not a chance in hell, Berry. Your choices are Wes or David, nobody else." Wait? Was he setting Rachel up with somebody from Dalton? Whoa, Kurt really was the best stepbrother ever. Yeah, it had taken Finn some time to come to terms with Kurt's first attempts at matchmaking, but you couldn't argue with the results. Before Kurt could catch him listening he slipped back down the hall and into his own room.

**L**

Finn had been trying not to think too much about movie night with Kurt and Mercedes. So what if he'd started to see Mercedes a little differently since she stood up for him. It was true that he thought she was easy to talk to, especially for a girl. It didn't mean much of anything, she probably just felt sorry for him. Still, if he happened to look good when she was over it was no big deal, right?

An hour before she was supposed to come over he jumped in the shower and even took a few extra minutes brushing his hair, which made like three minutes total. No big deal. He pulled on a clean pair of jeans and grabbed two different polo shirts before heading downstairs. He wanted to ask his mom whether the the blue one or the green one looked better. He didn't expect to find Mercedes sitting on the couch talking to his parents about the obvious problems the club members were having raising money for Nationals.

Everyone turned to look at him and he could feel his face burning, he felt like he was on display. Just because Puck, Mike, and Sam seemed ready and willing to whip off their shirts on a weekly basis didn't mean he was at all cool with it, especially now. It was too much, to be exposed this much again with the bruises still there for everyone to see. It's not like he'd ever been that comfortable with showing off his body in the first place, Rocky Horror aside. Whoa, and now that he thinks about all that there really were some creepy Schue related things going on.

"Uh, never mind. I'll just, uh, go up to my room." He knows he must sound weird, but he just turns around and jogs up the stairs. When he gets to his room he drops the polo shirts on his desk and pulls on the over-sized hoodie he'd been wearing around the house. He avoids the mirror on the way to his bed and sits against the headboard with his legs pulled up to his chest. A minute or so goes by before there is a knock on his door and his mom peeks into the room, "Okay if I come in for a minute honey?"

"Sure, mom." He's not sure whether she's going to be worried, or if she's mad at him for being rude or what. She doesn't seem mad though.

"Finn, you seemed kind of upset sweetie. Something about that bothered you didn't it? It wasn't just because Mercedes was there, Kurt said she's one of your biggest supporters." His mouth turns up a a little at that, and his mom gives him a small smile before prying one of his hands off his knees and holding it between her own. "Can you tell me what upset you?"

"I was just looking for you, because I couldn't decide what shirt to wear. Then all of a sudden I felt like it was really public and it creeped me out." He felt like he was just on the edge of what the real problem was but he couldn't get it. Sometimes the serious stuff kind of just sneaks up on him, like it did when he was talking to Rachel. He thinks this might be another one of those times so he just pauses a minute trying to concentrate on what exactly he's feeling like Dr. McKenna suggested. It wasn't really embarrassment, it was fear. Fear and understanding. Oh. He looks up at his mom, "I think it freaked me out because it was when he took our shirts off that I understood what was really happening."

"Oh, honey. I wish I could make this easier on you, but I'm so proud of how you've been facing all of this," his mom said, pulling him closer to kiss him on the top of the head. "So, why are you worried about your shirt? I thought you were just watching a movie with Kurt and Mercedes tonight?"

Yeah, now he was a little embarrassed, he could feel himself blushing. "I am. Mom, don't make a big deal about this. She's just turning out to be a good friend."

He hears a little chuckle as she gets up and goes over to the desk looking at the shirts he had picked out earlier. "A good friend, hmm? I remember hearing that around this house quite a bit a few months ago, and not from you. We both know how that turned out. Wear the blue one, it brings out your eyes. And Finn," she said, still looking like she knew far too much, "take your time. She's not going anywhere."

When Finn finally went downstairs, wearing the blue polo shirt, both Kurt and Mercedes were sitting on the couch talking. They didn't stop, which Finn thought was awesome because that meant they probably weren't talking about him. Kurt just gestured to the empty spot on the other side of Mercedes and kept ranting about what Finn could now hear was his attempt to talk Santana, Quinn, and Brittany into rejoining the Cheerios. When Kurt got up to put the DVD in the player Mercedes leaned over and asked quietly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no problem. Just didn't know we had company," Finn said. He figured the short explanation was the best. He could tell from the look on her face that she didn't believe for a minute that was the whole story but he was relieved when she just nodded and bumped his shoulder with hers.

"We decided on The Little Mermaid, we figured none of us was in the mood for something too serious," Kurt explained.

"And this way we can sing along!" Mercedes added, and Finn sighed. Singing wasn't something he really was in the mood for anymore. He'd never really sung before glee, and now with all his feelings so close to the surface anyway he'd been carefully avoiding it. It's not like he minded listening to Kurt and Mercedes sing along though, especially when Mercedes launched into a pretty awesome solo on Poor Unfortunate Souls. Wow, she really should have more solos, maybe he could talk to…oh, fuck. What the hell was wrong with him?

He knew in his brain that all of this crazy was pretty normal. Dr. McKenna and everyone who mattered had been telling him how strong he was, how good he was handling all this. That he could expect to feel this way. His gut wasn't so sure though. He wasn't used to being happy one minute and scared the next and then angry to finish it all off. He was pretty sure he had a few more days max before Puck's good intentions wore off and he started making cracks about PMS.

He was brought back to the movie by Mercedes trying and failing to contain a snicker next to him. When he gave her a questioning look she leaned against his side and motioned with her head towards Kurt and the TV screen. "Does Prince Eric remind you of anyone?"

He focused a bit on what was going on in the movie, and then noticed the look on Kurt's face, which even he could admit was rather adorable. "Holy shit!" He whispered to Mercedes, "It's mostly the eyebrows right?"

"Um hmm," she murmured, practically in his ear and Finn was a bit surprised that he was totally good with it. In fact, she smelled good. Like cotton candy or something really sweet.

"Do you think he realizes?" Finn asked, relaxing a bit into the armrest as she shakes her head. "I don't think so. Mr. H said that this was Kurt's favorite movie when he was little. Maybe that's just his type."

Despite how well the brother thing was going Finn would rather not think too much on Kurt's taste in guys. Instead he smiled at the girl who was leaning against his shoulder and asked "So, what's your type?"

"Watch the movie, Frankenteen, " was her only answer, but he could tell she was smiling so it was cool. He also noticed she stayed where she was for the rest of the movie. That was pretty cool too.

Mercedes had barely made it into the house before her phone blew up.

Message From: Kurt

Care to explain?

Apparently her best friend hadn't been completely distracted by the movie. Damn. This could get awkward. All that drama over her liking Kurt and Kurt liking Finn and she just had to be cliche enough to start connecting the other side of the triangle.

Message From: Mercedes

Explain what, boo?

Message From: Kurt

You know what.

Message From: Mercedes

I have no idea what you are talking about and even if I did there wouldn't be anything to tell.

Message From: Kurt

This is why you backed out of Plan W? I had to get Rachel. Rachel!

Message From: Mercedes

Good. Then Plan W will distract her too and not just the gossip whores.

Message From: Kurt

Which brings us back to why you want her distracted, darling.

Message From: Mercedes

We are not making this into anything.

She wasn't going to make this into some grand romance in her head, she was not. He was hurting right now and she was not going to twist that so she could end up heartbroken when he runs after some skinny Cheerio.

Message From: Kurt

Fine, but just so you know, this theoretical "this" that does not exist? He should be so lucky.

Message From: Mercedes

Thanks, baby. Night.

The Monday Kurt returned to McKinley Finn wished he could stay outside all day. It was one of those first warm days in late spring where you could just take off your jacket and finally stretch out on the grass somewhere and enjoy the sun. Finn, however, was riding shotgun as his stepbrother pulled into the parking lot for another week of school. Having Kurt back not only eased the guilt Finn was feeling about bailing on New Directions, but worrying about what could happen to his brother was weirdly enough a nice change from worrying about himself.

Sam, Puck, and Brittany were waiting for them this morning and they walked into the school as casually as they could with Sam and Puck standing on either side of them looking like they would jump the first jock that looked at either one of them the wrong way.

Mercedes was waiting for Kurt at his locker with Artie and Mike and she pulled Kurt into a hug as soon as he got close enough.

"You look fabulous, honey! I'm so glad you're here," she said, "Are you ready for this?" Finn was hoping Kurt would answer, since he had ignored him when he asked the same question before leaving the house.

"This is where I need to be," Kurt said, before tugging the strap of his messenger bag onto his shoulder and nodding in the direction of his English class. "Time for English, let's go Sam."

Finn's Trig and English classes had gone by pretty easily, and when he caught sight of Kurt in the hall on his way to Biology he was still wearing the same clothes he'd left the house in. That was a good sign. He should have known it was too good to last. He made it to Biology well before the bell for once and grabbed a seat at a lab table with Sam and Mercedes with a smile. He didn't notice the three hockey players behind them until he heard them.

"My dad's buddy Tom is a cop and he told my dad that Schuester wasn't just a regular pervert, he's a fag too," the first one, who Finn remembered being named Walters or Wallace or something like that, said. Finn gripped the edge of the lab table, his knuckles white. He wanted to run, but he also wanted to find out how much they knew.

"No surprise there," said Saunders, "I hear he was perving on Rutherford last year, that's why he left."

Finn could feel the blood pounding through his veins. Mercedes slipped her hand over one of his clenched fists and said softly enough so the hockey players wouldn't hear, "Finn, breath. They are just making shit up right now. You know that. Don't turn around."

Sam leaned off his stool, "There are two of us and three of them. We need to ignore it for now."

Mason chimed in then, "Nah, I figured he was screwing Hummel, but he didn't need drugs for that little bitch. Must have been one of the other losers."

Mercedes took her hand off Finn's long enough to slip her earrings out of her ears and into her bag. "No, there are three of us, and they are gonna regret being born, " she hissed to the boys.

Finn watched her do it like he was a million miles away, he was trying to keep from freaking out but it really wasn't working. How could they laugh about that. How could they say those things like real people weren't hurt. People were going to know it was a guy now. They were going to start guessing. He saw Sam grab Mercede's shoulder so she would notice Finn's reaction and as soon as she did her focus changed completely from the hockey players to him.

"Sam, can you distract the puckheads? Finn and I are getting out of here," she said grabbing Finn's hand and dragging him behind her up to the teacher's desk. He tried to focus on the feeling of her hand and it helped him focus just a bit. He thought he could hear Sam asking Saunders if Puck had cleaned his mother's pool lately. Well, that would keep them busy for a while.

By the time they got to the front of the room Finn was still trying to catch his breath, but he noticed that Mercedes had started crying. It was kind of crazy how girls could do that whenever they wanted to. "Ms. Baker some of the guys were talking about Mr. Schue and I'm really upset. Can Finn take me to the nurse? I don't wanna go alone," she said, loud enough for the first couple rows to hear and spread word that she was the one that freaked. The teacher shot both of them a sympathetic look, "Go ahead, you can get the notes from Mr. Evans after class."

Finn let himself be pulled out of the biology classroom and down the hall, into the empty astronomy classroom. Mercedes guided him into a chair and pulled up one for her next to him. She started rubbing his back and counting just like he'd seen her do for Kurt that time. He'd been able to get a grip fairly early this time and it didn't take long for him to feel what he'd gotten used to as normal.

"Thanks for getting me out of there. That could have been really bad," he said. "You would have ripped those guys apart wouldn't you?"

She laughed, "I would have tried. My brother taught me a few things, but turning on the waterworks is usually more effective."

She pulled out her phone and started typing, "I better get Puck to meet Sam after that class; he might need back-up."

"His backup won't be as amazing as mine," he says and then is immediately embarrassed. He's not really trying to sweet talk her or anything, though he'd like another chance at the hand holding when he's more able to appreciate it. He gets his wish when she just shakes her head and pulls him up, keeping hold of his hand once he's on his feet. "Come on, it looks like we have a free period and I could use one of those iced coffee drinks." It looked like Finn was going to get some time outside today after all.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time this was written we only had a spoiler picture of the courtyard scene for BTW so I improvised.

By the time Finn and Kurt arrived at school the next morning everyone had heard the rumors the hockey players had started. All the glee boys including Finn and Kurt had received texts from Sam that morning to meet and walk in together. At least there was relative safety in numbers. The girls, while out of the line of fire themselves were taking a lot of nasty comments about their boyfriends and best friends but Santana had organized them as well.

If stuff was starting to leak from the Lima PD Finn couldn't help but wonder if everything was going to come out eventually. He'd spent a lot of time thinking about that last night, and while the thought was still terrifying he could imagine himself getting through it. That part was new. He was glad his parents had insisted on the daily counseling, even though sometimes it was really hard to talk about stuff. Dr. McKenna listened to him and a lot of the time the talking helped him put words on what he was feeling. Last night he tried to explain to his family how hard that had always been for him. He figured if he could understand his emotions there would be much less chair throwing and crazy mean outbursts about decorating choices. Everyone would be better off, and he could tell him mom was proud of how grown-up he sounded. That was awesome.

He really did not want any more surprises around what had happened, and that's why he found himself outside Coach Bieste's office during his library study period. At least this way he would have his session with Dr. McKenna this afternoon to help figure out how he felt about whatever she had to tell him. The door was open, so he knocked on the door frame.

"Hudson. Come on in. What can I do for you today?" She pushed the forms that were covering her desk back a bit and motioned for him to sit in the seat across from her.

"You said if I wanted you'd tell me the rest?" He was trying to look her in the eye so she'd know he was serious but his hands kept twisting the strap on his backpack.

He heard her blow out a breath, "Yeah, okay. I take it now is a good time for you?"

It was kind of comforting that she was the same as she'd always been. "Yeah, if you can. I have Dr. McKenna later so you don't have to get into the emotional stuff or anything."

The side of her mouth quirked up a bit like she was trying not to smile, "I can take a crack at that if you need to. I'm not a bad listener, but I think the doc is a better choice. More objective."

"Objective?" He asked, he heard that word a lot. He'd always wondered what it meant, and he knew coach wouldn't make fun of him.

"Separated from what happened. You and me, and your friends, we all have feelings about this. Doc McKenna is able to concentrate on your feelings because she's a pro but also because she doesn't have any personal feelings of her own about Will or what happened to you. It's better that way. Hell, maybe I should pay her a visit."

Finn nodded, that made a lot of sense. "So what happened? Officer Larson said he turned himself in, and that there won't be a trial."

"Finn, while you were in the ambulance you had some kind of flashback or nightmare. You said some things that had me pretty worried," she said, looking sad.

"I thought maybe I did, but nobody said anything when I woke up," he said, hoping she would explain without him having to ask.

"I didn't want to start anything based on what you said when you were drugged up, or even make you talk before you were ready. You have to understand Will Schuester was one of my best friends, but something just felt wrong."

Finn nodded, "I get it, I mean I've thought about that. If someone else had accused him of this; would I have believed it? That's why the club knows, I needed them to believe it."

She looks a little relieved, like she was worried he would hate her for wondering. "I went to see him straight from the hospital. He was pretty messed up, he didn't even want me to come in at first. He didn't have to tell me what he'd done, I knew as soon as I walked in"

"Messed up?" Finn asked.

"You wanted the truth, so here it is: he was drunk and he had a gun. He was ready to kill himself over what he did to you."

A gun. That's what nobody had wanted to tell him. Schue had been so upset about hurting him that he wanted to die. Schue knew what he'd done to Finn, that Finn hadn't wanted him to touch him. In a way he'd always known that was true, but hearing it as a fact was something totally different.

"Did he say why?" His voice was quiet, but he knew coach could hear him.

"He said he didn't have an explanation, and I think he was telling the truth. He said he had been drinking for weeks and that his parents had been drunks too," she said, just as quietly while staring at her hands on the desk.

"So you stopped him?" He asked.

She nodded again, "I told him he owed it to you to admit what he'd done, that making you kids deal with his death on top of everything else was just as unforgivable as what he did to you that night. I made him get dressed and I took him to the police station. I haven't talked to him since, but Coach Sylvester said they would sentence him any day now."

Finn just sat there for a little while, taking everything in. It was a relief to know the whole story. It was a relief somehow to know Schue was messed up because of what he'd done, even if it didn't change anything. He looked up at Coach Bieste, "Coach, we're lucky to have you here. I'm not going, but the glee club needs a faculty advisor to compete at Nationals. Somebody we trust, which doesn't leave many people. Will you do it?"

"You do realize I don't know a thing about music or dancing other than what we did for halftime?" She asked, but her voice was much closer to normal, and Finn thought he had a chance.

"You don't need to. Rachel and Kurt will take care of the singing, and Mike and Brittany will take care of the dancing. Rachel might even find someone with experience for that stuff and Blaine wants to help too. What we need is someone who is a faculty member at McKinley for the official record, please?" He gave her his best puppy dog look, it worked on his mom about half the time.

She smiled a bit and he knew he'd won her over, "Fine," she said, "Get Hummel and Berry in my office to talk about the details before the end of the week."

Finn grinned at her, he was so glad he could do something to help his friends. He still felt guilty abandoning them for Nationals. "Thanks, Coach."

**L**

Finn was relieved when Sam suggested they eat lunch in the courtyard. It was a nice day and a lack of tables meant he didn't have to really decide whether to eat with the football team or the glee club. He and Sam had settled on the bottom step in case Artie wanted to join them. Looking up he could pick out Kurt, Mercedes, and Rachel a few rows up, as well as Brittany and Santana at the very top. It was just as he saw them that he spotted a handful of very familiar blue blazers working their way through the crowd. Finn couldn't help but be a little nervous.

People had pretty much left Kurt alone knowing he was under Sue Sylvester's protection, but a public show by Blaine in the middle of lunch might be too much for the idiots to resist. Just as Finn expected the Warblers began to sing as they came down the the stairs, but instead of Blaine it was Wes who stepped up to the front. Finn was surprised, he had never heard of anyone but Blaine getting a solo with the Warblers, but Wes could really sing. That still didn't explain what exactly was happening. He watched confused as the McKinley students all started to focus on the strangers invading their lunch hour.

When the Dalton boys got to the step a few levels above them he saw Wes walk over and confidently take Rachel by the hand and pull her out of the crowd. When had this happen? He saw Rachel smile and look around, no doubt trying to guess how much of the student body was watching. Wes seemed to be going all out. He had Rachel's hand in his and the other over his heart. A little cheesy, Finn thought, but exactly what Rachel would expect. The McKinley students were staring at Rachel and the whispers had turned into a dull roar. Sam was grinning and shaking his head. "Distraction Plan W, nobody is going to be talking about anything else for the rest of the day, not even Schue."

Wait. This was the big plan? His brother had in a matter of days figured out a way to change the focus of the gossip at least temporarily, give Rachel the attention she craves and a distraction Finn appreciates, and even get to see his own boyfriend during the day. He jumped up from his seat and climbed the few steps to where Kurt was watching Rachel with Blaine and Mercedes.

He pulled Kurt into a quick hug and asked, "So this was the big secret plan?"

Kurt smiled, and Finn was glad to see it was a real smile for once. "So Finn Hudson, was Distraction Plan W sufficiently fabulous?"

"Dude, totally fabulous. I'm just glad you're on my side. So when did that happen?" He asked, motioning toward where Wes and Rachel were talking

"Oh, there's nothing actually happening there. Wes is still dating Alicia, but neither of those two can resist a performance," Kurt explained.

Blaine looked a little nervous, "Maybe we should have warned Wes that she tends to get emotionally attached when singing is involved."

"As long as she doesn't show up tomorrow with a gavel let them talk. I think she mostly wants to make sure it ends up on YouTube for Jesse to see," Kurt said and Finn had to wonder if it hurt to roll your eyes that hard.

"Wait, St. Lame? What does he have to do with anything?" Finn asked, remembering the bits of conversation he'd overheard.

Kurt waved his hand and Finn already knew he wasn't getting an answer before Kurt said, "We'll talk about it later, Blaine and the guys can only stay for another twenty minutes or so."

"Look Kurt, you know I think you guys are great together, but I was a little worried it was going to be Blaine singing to you," Finn said. He was well aware that Kurt knew what problems that might cause, but he wanted to make sure Blaine got it too.

"Oh, the Council has banned me from serenading people in public. It seems they find my song choices inappropriate and my choice in venues lacking. This was only because Kurt needed them, " Blaine said, slipping his arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt was just shaking his head, and Finn knew better than to ask.

They stayed in the courtyard for the rest of the period the Warblers and New Directions members chatting casually. To Finn's surprise nobody said anything mean to the Dalton boys, but then he guessed fifteen guys in matching uniforms might be a little intimidating. Still, he went with Puck and Sam to walk them back to their van thanking them again for helping out. It looked like the rest of the day might go better.

Things at McKinley had calmed down quite a bit that week. The Warbler invasion and Rachel's moment in the spotlight were the hot topics of gossip for several days and Finn was starting to feel like he could breathe again. He'd planned on staying late to do some laps on the track, but by the time he got ready it was raining so he just went home instead. He knew his parents wouldn't be home until dinner time, but maybe he could talk Kurt into playing some Mario Kart or something.

Finn walked into the living room and froze when he realized that Kurt was not home alone. Kurt was lying on top of Blaine on the couch. He watched as his brother pulled Blaine's t-shirt over his head and heard him say "I missed you so much, missed how you feel."

Blaine's hands were fiddling with the front of Kurt's shirt, trying to figure out how to unfasten the straps holding it closed around his waste. "Fuck Kurt, you look so hot right now."

It was too much; he had to get out of there. He knew it was completely different, but he couldn't convince his brain not to go there. He could feel the hands holding him down and hear Schue's voice again, saying things. Finn dropped his book bag on the floor and took off. He let the front door slam behind him and didn't bother with his car in the driveway. He just started running down the street, and somehow running in the rain felt better, so he kept it up. He ran until he was gasping for breath and soaked in his jeans and puffy vest. He wiped the rain off of his face, trying to ignore the tears that were mixed in. Finn looked around and realized he wasn't far from Sam's house so he jogged the rest of the way and knocked, hoping his friend was home.

"Finn? What's wrong? You look upset and you're soaked," Sam said, as soon as he answered the door.

"I got freaked out and I just started running and I didn't want to stop. I wasn't too far from here, but I left my phone at the house. I'm sorry to just show up like this. I'm such a mess," Finn said, trying to shake some of the water off.

"Don't worry about it, Finn. Take a minute to catch your breath. I'm going to get you a towel." Sam left for a minute or two and came back with a towel and a bottle of water, both for Finn. Finn followed Sam into the kitchen and sat on one of the bar stools by the counter. Sam stood across the counter and waited for Finn to settle down. "Are you doing okay now? Do I need to call your mom?"

Finn drank a little bit, "No, I'll be okay. I'm not scared or anything now. Just cold and wet. I'm such an idiot."

Finn watched as Sam leaned across the counter and carefully put a hand on his shoulder, making sure it was okay to touch him first. "Hey, don't say stuff like that about my friend. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"That was pretty sappy, bro. Even for you," Finn teased, before getting serious again and looking down at his still soaked shoes, "I went home early and I guess Kurt and Blaine thought they would have the house to themselves. I walked in on them."

Sam laughed, "Oh, did Kurt get mad at you? That is pretty embarrassing. I caught my sister and her boyfriend once."

"I um, didn't talk to him. When I saw what they were doing I kind of had a flashback and I just ran."

The blond boy squeezed Finn's shoulder before he asked, "So he doesn't know what happened? Did they even know you were there?"

"I dropped my bag and slammed the door, I don't know if they noticed. Shit, dude. Crap, Kurt is going to think I flipped because of the gay thing and I'm a terrible brother and it wasn't that. The crazy part of my brain just kind of took over." Finn slumped over the counter; he just kept messing stuff up.

"Hey, don't worry. We'll text Kurt and Blaine and tell them where you are. They are probably worried about you running out like that, especially in the rain. I'm sure they'll let you explain. First we've got to get you into some dry clothes. You're still shivering," Sam said motioning for Finn to follow him. They got to Sam's bedroom and Finn couldn't help but tense up a bit. He watched as the shorter boy dug around a bit before pulling out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, "Here you go, these should fit you well enough," he said.

Finn looked around nervously, "I'm sorry, do you mind if I change in the bathroom?"

Sam looked concerned, but shrugged, "Sure, no problem. It's right across the hall, it locks if you push the knob in and turn it to the left."

"Thanks, dude. I'll be right back," Finn said, before closing the bathroom door and being sure to lock it. It was kind of a thing he did now, with the locks and the privacy.

When he was finished Sam was waiting back in the kitchen. "I texted Kurt. I told him you were okay and with me. I said I'd drive you home if you are okay with that," Sam said.

"Yeah, thanks. Let's go," Finn said and led the way out to the driveway.

When Finn and Sam got back to Finn's house the blond gave Finn another shoulder squeeze and told him to call him later if he needed too. Finn was glad they had been able to patch up their friendship after the whole Quinn thing, now he just hoped he could patch up things with his brother and Blaine as well.

This time Finn entered the house slowly and called out, "Kurt? Blaine? I'm home."

"We're in the living room. It's okay to come in, Finn," Kurt called out in response. Finn shuffled into the living room, his eyes on his shoes which were unfortunately a couple of inches below the bottoms of Sam's sweatpants.

"Hey, guys," he muttered. Kurt was sitting on the couch and Blaine was perched on the very edge of Burt's chair, almost like he was afraid to actually sit in it. Any other time Finn would have found it funny, but he knew they were sitting apart for his benefit and he just felt guilty. "I'm sorry Kurt. You too Blaine. I know it seemed bad, but I didn't flip out because of you guys, I promise. I'm not that guy anymore, but I'll understand if you hate me."

Kurt was looking at him like he'd never seen him before, but it was Blaine who spoke first, "Finn, I don't think you understand. It's the two of us who owe you an apology, silly. It was impolite of us to do those things in the living room, but I just couldn't wait. Considering what Burt would have done had he caught us I consider myself lucky you walked in when you did."

Kurt smiled, "We're not mad, but we were worried about you. You ran off, literally, without your phone or wallet in the middle of a storm."

"You could have twisted an ankle or something and we wouldn't be able to find you," Blaine added and Finn was touched that he actually seemed to care.

"Yeah, I guess that wasn't so smart. Some memories just hit me all at once and I had to get out. You really aren't mad?" Finn asked, looking hopefully at Kurt.

"No Finn, but lets all agree that the living room is off limits for clothing removal. It's not like we want to walk in on you and ….um..some girl either," Kurt said.

Finn relaxed a bit and smiled sadly,"It's a deal, but I wouldn't worry about that happening for a while. The only thing the girls feel for me at the moment is pity. I can't really blame her."

Kurt gives him a curious look, but says nothing and Finn wants to get into some of his own clothes and take a nap before dinner so he gives Kurt a quick hug and after a moment's hesitation Blaine too before he heads up stairs.

The minute Finn was out of earshot Blaine turned to Kurt, "blame her? A particular her?"

Kurt smiled, "Oh, it's even better. I'll have to get you caught up, we have planning to do. I am an excellent matchmaker. Besides, I need you to stop me from breaking into Finn's phone and reading his texts."

"I suppose I can think of ways to distract you," Blaine said, moving back to the couch.

**  
A few days later Finn was waiting outside the choir room for Kurt to drive them home. He'd barely had time to pull his trig homework out of his bag when Rachel ran out of the room in tears and Kurt stomped out behind her.

"Dude, what's wrong? Is somebody messing with you? I can totally take care of it, I've been dying to try out that thing with the thumbs that Wes taught us." Finn might be messed up a bit and freaked out from time to time now, but nobody messes with his brother.

"Figgins is saying that the glee club is cursed and he's disbanding it, even though Rachel and I had worked out all the Nationals stuff with Coach Bieste!" Kurt said, his back ramrod straight and his jaw tight.

"No way dude. That's not fair! We had to place and Regionals and we won! Why would we be cursed?" He didn't get it. Nobody got hurt during practice or anything, and those auditorium riots hadn't been completely their fault.

Kurt didn't really answer him, he just pulled his bag up on his shoulder and said, "Come on, let's go tell dad and Carole. Rachel's dads are going to check with the state show choir committee."

"Kurt, why aren't you answering my question? Why would Figgins think we're cursed?" Finn said, following his stepbrother out to the car.

Kurt turned back around and sighed, "Because of Mr. Ryerson and Mr. Schue."

Shit. Just when Finn thinks he's figured out all the ways this sucks there is always a new one.

It was a very busy night at Finn's house. Burt and Carole had spent most of the evening on the phone to the Berry's and to the school board members that were loyal customers of Burt's. The Berrys had thought to contact Shelby Corcoran who had proved surprisingly generous with information about funding standards and the requirements that schools had to meet for teams to compete at Nationals.

Both Finn and Kurt followed Burt into Figgins' office the next morning. Being there always made Finn pretty nervous. After all, it was usually because he was in trouble. This time, however, he hadn't slashed any tires or walked around in his underwear. Judging by the expression on Burt's face it was Figgins who was in trouble.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Burt asked. So his step-dad had decided not to bother with trying to be nice at first. Finn was cool with that.

"Mr. Hummel, I understand that the children were looking forward to this trip. You must understand, however, that the directors of the McKinley glee club have been of questionable character to say the least. I cannot in good conscience allow this to continue!"

Burt crossed his arms and glared at Figgins and Finn shivered a little. Burt had only been really mad at him twice, and he'd totally deserved it. His stepfather was scary when he was mad; when he was mad and protecting Kurt he was damn near terrifying.

"I don't think you understand. These kids have worked hard to get where they are with pretty much no support from this school at all. If anyone is responsible for the questionable morals of faculty members it is the person that hired Ryerson and Schuester to be around kids in the first place. That was you wasn't it?"

Figgins stuttered, and Finn wondered if he was going to freak out like he did about the vampire thing. "Sir, the district requires a faculty member of the sponsoring school to accompany the children on their trip. The glee club is currently without a director. You must understand."

Burt snorted, "I don't have to understand squat. I know for a fact that the football coach is more than willing to take them on the trip, and we've been assured by an expert that any faculty member qualifies. Here is what you better understand: Finn's mother and I decided not to sue the school district and you personally over your negligence in employing Schuester. If you want it to stay that way I suggest you cooperate, it will be cheaper than my lawsuit. "

Figgins slumped back in his chair and Finn could tell he knew when he was beat, "Fine Mr. Hummel, what are your demands?"

"Good, now you're catching on: First, the glee club is permanent. They will be funded for this trip and any other the same way every athletic team in this school is funded. Second, they will go to Nationals with Coach Bieste. I will arrange for appropriate chaperones among the other parents. And just so I don't have to come back here: My son and his boyfriend will be attending prom and you will ensure they are just as safe as any other student and guest at that event," Burt finished, staring down the other man.

"Very well. It seems my hands are tied. I will notify Coach Bieste of her new responsibility and budget."

"You do that," Burt said, "Come on boys, let's get some chili dogs and I'll sign you back in for your afternoon classes."

**L**

Rachel was exhausted by the time she got home that evening. The day before had been a very trying day for her budding career and she had shined at both tap and voice lessons this afternoon as well. As pleasant a diversion as having Wesley Kim serenade her in front of the McKinley student body was she was well aware that she was very much alone. As if she had projected her thoughts across the country her phone began to blast "Bohemian Rhapsody". She sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Jesse," she said heading into her bedroom and closing the door. Her dads were well aware of what he had pulled last year and she doubted they'd be happy to find the two of them were on speaking terms again.

"Rachel, you sound tired. Have you been pushing yourself too hard in rehearsal? You know you don't have any true competition at that school."

"Jesse be nice! I am simply taking your words to heart. If anyone who matters is going to pay attention to me I must develop my natural talents far beyond the level necessary for Lima, Ohio," she replied sharply.

"Ah, attention. Is that what you were getting from Wes Kim and the Dalton Warblers?" His voice wasn't harsh exactly, but she could hear something in his question that was not entirely joking. Jealousy perhaps? That was what she had expected to gain from the charade after all.

"Oh, you saw that?" She tried to sound innocent, but they knew each other better than that. Of course he had seen it. She doubted he had deleted the google alert they had set for each other's names. She certainly hadn't, even if she told herself it was simply to enjoy his fade into obscurity.

"It was hard to miss. I've seen it from three different angles, and the third one makes it clear one of you has attracted the attention of a Warbler. Good for Kurt, he looks happy," and she can hear the teasing in his voice, but he's being sincere too and it kind of warms her heart towards him a little.

"Do you know everything?" she huffs, but she's smiling into the phone and she's not even surprised.

"Of course I do, I'm Jesse St. James," he said, and she could hear the smirk in his voice.

It disappeared completely when he continued, "Seriously though how are you doing? Or maybe I should be asking how Finn is doing?"

She paused at the question and her smile dropped, "Who told you! I didn't say anything."

"I'd say you just did, but that's not really fair. I'm not some outsider, Rachel. It's just not hard to figure out who else would have trusted him enough to be hurt like that."

"You can't tell anyone! Please tell me you haven't," she said, tugging nervously at the hem of her sweater.

"No, and I won't. Nobody deserves that. I want you to know that you can trust me with this. You'd know if I talk, so you can consider this a test. How is he doing?" She wasn't sure if she should talk about, but really the big stuff was pretty much out in the open already.

"He's been dealing with it remarkably well, actually. The school brought in a real therapist, Dr. McKenna. I've been to see her a few times myself and it really helps. He's quit New Directions, but I hope he'll change his mind. He's stronger than he thinks he is."

"Good, I mean it when I say I hope he comes back. Are you together?" His question surprised her, he seemed to know everything else after all. She tried to think of their last conversation and if he had a reason to think that was the case. She briefly considered lying, but she was really sick of playing games.

"No, we're not. He was seeing Quinn before this, but she wasn't very supportive and he dropped her. I had thought that maybe...but I think he was right when he said we were better off as friends. I can't believe I'm telling you this," she said, shaking her head.

"Everyone needs someone to talk to, even the supremely talented. I should know. I'm going to be home on Friday. Can we talk in person?"

She shouldn't be so surprised; he'd said he wanted to talk to her in person the last time they spoke. She wasn't sure she should. He'd broken her heart, but she was curious about this new Jesse who seemed to care about other people. "I suppose we can have coffee. Saturday at 11? I might even decide to let you buy me lunch."

"I'll keep my fingers crossed. Your mercy is a gift," he tried.  
"Jesse," she snapped, and she could hear him laugh on the other end of the phone.

"Okay, okay. No bullshit. Sorry. It's a process, you know. You can't expect me to stop cold turkey," he said.

"Saturday at 11. The Lima Bean on Market St., " she said. That was as much encouragement as she was going to give him for now.

"Thanks, you won't regret this," he said.

She smiled, "Oh, you'd better hope not. Noah has been waiting for a year to get his hands on you, and if you are really horrible I'll let Santana handle it."

She was pretty sure she could hear him swallow nervously, so she hung up the phone.


	6. 6

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful, and Finn was grateful. Kurt seemed to working on another plan and Rachel seemed unusually quiet. Still, he was pretty sure complaining about that was the last thing he wanted to do.

He had really started to look forward to Friday night dinners with his family. It was a relief from being at school since everything was out in the open and everyone could just be themselves. He was about half way through his double portion of lasagna when his mom turned to Kurt and asked, "Have you decided what you and Blaine are wearing to Prom?"

"I have my outfit picked out, but Blaine insists on picking his out himself. I have promised to be supportive, regardless," Kurt said, with an exaggerated sigh.

"Don't worry about it too much. I'm sure powder blue will look good on him," Burt said with a twinkle in his eye. His mom and Kurt both laughed, but Finn thought the idea was kind of interesting. Finn knew that he Burt was joking, Blaine would never wear something so non-traditional or anything that Kurt might find embarrassing. Finn didn't have anyone to embarrass though. Quinn and Kurt had forced him into choosing a really boring tux but things were kind of different now. Quinn was history and it would kind of be a cool way of saying he didn't care what anyone thought. Something in his face must of given his thoughts away though because Kurt reached out and lightly slapped the back of his head.

"Finn Hudson, don't even think about it. I spent an entire afternoon finding a perfectly respectable suit for you that actually fit your gigantic frame," Kurt said.

His mom laughed, "Honey, I'll let you in on a little secret: Girls like a man in a tux, think James Bond. Even if you don't take a date you may want to impress a certain young lady?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow in his direction, but Finn very carefully ignored it. His mom had a point though, if he had a chance to show Mercedes he wasn't a complete screw up he should take it.

"Thanks mom, I'll stick with the one I have. Is there anymore lasagna?"

On Saturday morning Rachel made it to the Lima Bean at 10:30 and carefully checked the parking lot for Jesse's car. She had counted on having sufficient time to prepare herself and did not want to be surprised. The parking lot was clear, so she slipped into the coffee shop and picked up her soy latte before choosing a secluded table near the back. She hadn't told anyone in New Directions that she was meeting Jesse and she'd rather they didn't walk in on them.

She wasn't precisely sure what to expect from this meeting. He had sounded different somehow on the phone, less selfish. Still, she was glad to hear that he hadn't exactly suffered a lack of confidence. That was the Jesse she could understand after all. It had been each other's tremendous talent that had sparked their notice, but the similarities in their drive to succeed had both brought them together and torn them apart.

She watched as Jesse entered the shop and looked around. She didn't want to admit it, but he looked good. Very good. His outfit was predictable; dark wash jeans, a black t-shirt, and his leather jacket but his shoulders had filled out and he was tan from the California sun. It was a good thing she'd had some of the finest drama training Ohio had to offer. She wished she had thought to ask Kurt for some wardrobe help, but that would have meant admitting who she was seeing. He spotted her and nodded before going the counter and ordering his own drink. A minute later he was pulling out the chair across from her.

"Rachel, you look lovely. I'll admit I wasn't sure you would show up, " he said, looking at her from over the top of his cup as he took a long sip.

She tried to play it cool, "You are the one who wanted to meet in person, so talk."

He nodded. "Fair enough. The reason I wanted to see you in person is so that I can apologize. Rachel, I lied to you in the beginning and I lied to myself at the end. You know how important my career is to me, but what I did to get ahead wasn't right. I was so wrapped up in Shelby's plan and then the team's ideas to psyche you out before regionals I lost myself and I lost the best thing to ever happen to me. You."

She had thought that he may apologize for the eggs, she didn't expect for him to admit he regretted leaving her. "I"m not sure it's enough, Jesse."

He nodded again before leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "Rachel, we both put the spotlight first even when we shouldn't. Can you honestly say you haven't done anything selfish this year to get what you want?"

He had her there, "I may have sent Sunshine Corazon to a crackhouse, and made out with Noah to get back at Finn, and kissed the boy I knew Kurt liked because we looked and sounded good together. Oh my God."

"See? We're a perfect match. What I am suggesting is that we don't stop pursuing our inevitable fame, instead we just stop hurting each other to do it," he said. It was crazy, selfish, and maybe borderline psychotic, but it made perfect sense and she couldn't deny it.

"Is your offer to help us get ready for Nationals still good? We could really use the help," she asked.

"That depends on whether you'll let me take you to your prom. No pressure, just another chance for me to show you how good we are together." he said.

She was supposed to go stag with Mercedes, but Mercedes couldn't expect her to turn down the chance at a date. Especially once she convinced her friends that Jesse wasn't actually evil.

"I think we have ourselves a deal," she said and considered for a moment before adding, "and I believe you owe me lunch."

When Saturday night rolled around Finn was once again invited to join Mercedes and Kurt for movie night. This time Finn picked the shirt that Kurt gave him for his birthday, he doesn't usually wear it because he thinks it's too tight, but Kurt usually knows what he's talking about with this stuff. The three of them were just settling down on the couch, Mercedes between the two boys when Kurt's phone went off. Finn watched as his brother texted back and forth with someone for a few minutes before he stood up and said," I have to go."

"What's up?" Mercedes asked, giving him a suspicious look.

"Tina needs me to come over. She was trying to dye her streaks orange and the new brand of dye completely fried her hair," Kurt explained.

"Oh, do you need help?" Mercedes asked.

"No," Kurt cut her off quickly,"her parents still aren't happy about the hair color thing anyway. She had to beg them to let one friend come over. You just stay here, I"ll be gone less than an hour."

"If that's what Tina wants," Mercedes replied, "Finn and I will just stay and watch the movie."

Finn smiled at her, this was actually good. He hadn't had much of a chance to talk to her since they had coffee that day they left class.

They waited as Kurt went upstairs and banged around for a few minutes before coming down with a bag of products and what looked like a plastic apron. Sometimes it was still better not to ask too many questions when it came to understanding Kurt.

A few minutes later they heard the Navigator start up and Mercedes turned toward him on the couch, "I don't know whether to beat that boy's ass or hug him."

"What do you mean?" Finn asked. Maybe she wasn't as happy to be alone as he was. He was kind of mess, maybe she'd decided it wasn't worth it to get close to him.

"Tina is in Lexington visiting sister at UK for the weekend. Your brother is probably parking behind Kroger with his boyfriend as we speak," she said.

"Oh. Oh. Yeah, still don't really want to know that stuff about my little brother. So why did you let him lie like that? He dragged you all the way over here just to ditch you?" Finn said, and tried to keep his eyes on Mercedes's face and not the tips of her "M" necklace that had shifted when she shook her head and was resting right in the middle of.. no, he was going to keep looking at her eyes.

"Finn, he's three months older than you," she said with a laugh,"and as for the ditching, I'm sure he thinks he's doing us a favor. "

"Is this what he's been up to this week? I knew there was something. He shouldn't drag you into his evil plans," Finn said, he kind of wanted to give her an out, but he really hoped she wouldn't take one.

"I think he's decided that we're good for each other. He thinks he's some kind of super matchmaker or whatever since he got your parents together," she explained.

He knew he was smiling so big it made him look goofy but he didn't care, "You mean I figured out something before Kurt? I knew you were good for me that night I texted you about homework, probably before that even."

"Look, you've been jerked around a lot by girls so I'm going to lay it out for you. I've been thinking there is a spark between us, but I'm not going to push you into anything, or let Kurt push you into anything."

Whoa, she really wasn't into games. He was kind of reeling not only from the confirmation that she liked him, but from the fact that she cared what he wanted. Quinn and Rachel had both pushed so hard it was just easier to give in. He couldn't do that anymore and he was beginning to understand he didn't have to. Mercedes actually cared about how he felt. This was pretty awesome.

"A spark, hmm? I like that. My turn for the truth, I guess. The more time I spend with you the more time I want to spend with you. You're not like anyone else, and that's really cool," he said, taking her hand and pulling her against is side so they could be closer.

"We should just take our time," he added. He knew his mom was pretty smart and this seemed like a good time to take her advice.

She smiled up at him, and he was pretty sure he'd said something right. "I'm good with that, " she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Mercedes, and I mean this in the most "taking our time" way possible, but would you go to prom with me?"

She pulled back a little and he was afraid he'd said something wrong until he heard her laugh, "You do realize prom is next week, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't have a date anymore and I want to go with you. I already have my tux reserved, I'll just have to change the color of my vest to match your dress. Wait, you don't already have a date do you? Of course you do, I'm a idiot, " he said, running a hand through his hair.

"Finn, relax. Rachel and I were going stag. I want to say yes, but I can't just ditch Rachel by herself," Mercedes said, looking disappointed. Finn really hated when she looked disappointed.

They both knew that if the situation was reversed Rachel would ditch Mercedes in minute. Rachel was not a exactly a bros before hos kind of girl, or however that worked when it was girls instead of guys. Mercedes was that type of friend though, and it was one of the things Finn liked about her.

"Okay, I understand. We'll figure something out. Maybe we can convince Kurt to use his powers for good. Together or not we are both going to go, and you are going to suffer through my attempts at dancing with you," Finn said.

"You'd better believe it," Mercedes agreed before resting her head back on his shoulder to watch the rest of the movie pressed together with their fingers intertwined.

***  
Prom week at McKinley was a little crazy as far as Finn could tell. Even a lot of the girls who weren't normally crazy acted like they'd had too much Red Bull. Kurt said it was probably the diet pills. Finn was thankful that Mercedes wasn't one of those girls, because he'd been texting her and meeting her between classes every chance he got.

It was Tuesday afternoon when he got a texts from Mercedes, Kurt, and Puck telling him they needed him at the choir room. He wasn't sure he wanted to go in, but he figured he could at least go over and see what the problem was. He'd already warned all of them that he didn't want to be sung to. He got to the door and found Mercedes waiting while Kurt stood facing Rachel, looking as furious as Finn had ever seen him. Artie was gesturing wildly and everyone else was on their feet except for Sam and Brittany who both looked confused, although Finn figured it was probably for different reasons.

He wasn't sure about even going in, but when Mercedes took his hand he took a deep breath and followed her. Suddenly Finn knew why they they were so mad. Rachel was standing at the front of the room and behind her was Jesse St. James, sitting in Brad's chair with his arms crossed and a smug smile.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?" Finn knew he was yelling, but he didn't really care. It was kind of nice to be pissed off over something different. When they heard his voice the noise in the room cut off immediately and everyone was kind of staring at him. Well, a few people were staring at his hand where it was joined with Mercedes', but Sam gave him a thumbs up so he figured that wasn't their main problem at the moment. He was pretty relieved when Kurt started talking again and everyone was distracted.

"Rachel brought the enemy here two weeks before Nationals because apparently her having a date to prom is more important than the security of our set list," Kurt said, biting off the ends of his words.

"Enemy, Kurt? I'm not the only one in this room to compete for another team, now am I?" Jesse sniped.

Rachel turned around and glared, "Off limits, Jesse. Seriously."

To Finn's shock St. Douche just nodded and leaned back in his chair. Finn turned to Mercedes "Wait? Did he say prom?"

Mercedes shot daggers in Rachel's direction, "Yup, it seems Rachel found herself a date."

"So are we on?" He asked, squeezing her hand.

"Yes, we are. My dress is blue, Kurt can help you find something to match," she said, bumping his shoulder with hers. Yeah, he didn't want screw this up so he'd definitely need help. Especially for the corsage, he didn't think he'd ever seen a blue flower.

"Jesse is no longer a member of Vocal Adrenaline, but he does have experience at Nationals. He wants to help us," Rachel said, turning around to smile at Jesse.

Santana spoke for the group, "Why the fuck would we believe anything he has to say? I know you are desperate Berry, but this is pathetic even for you."

"Hey," Finn said. He wished Santana would stop picking on Rachel. It was then that he realized Jesse had spoken up too. "Watch your mouth, Lopez. You guys would have lost Regionals by a landslide without her," Jesse said.

Rachel beamed at him and Santana gave him an impressed nod and backed up. Finn sighed, and Mercedes spoke, "You still haven't given us one damn reason to believe a word you say."

"Because I know all about Schuester and instead of using it to get my face all over network television I've kept my mouth shut and offered to help," Jesse said and Finn was aware of Mercedes pulling him over to a chair and pushing him into it. She kept her hands on his shoulders and it helped him calm down and probably kept her wrapping them around Rachel's neck.

Sam glared at Rachel, "Rachel, how could you tell someone? You didn't have the right."

"She didn't tell me anything. I figured it out, and for what it's worth I hope he rots in prison," Jesse said, and the tension in the room dropped just a little. "Look," he continued, "I"m not going to pretend that what I did to Rachel doesn't make me an ass, but she's accepted my apology. Let me help. It's not like some of you haven't done shitty things to each other."

Rachel spoke up, "I've done some things this year I'm not proud of, and not just sending Sunshine to that crackhouse."

"Puckerman here knocked up his best friend's girlfriend, and tossed Hummel in the dumpster for years. Quinn cheated on Sam with Finn and that's just the stuff I know about," Jesse said.

Lauren came down the risers then, flexing her fingers like she was limbering up for a fight, "I'd watch who you are mouthing off about twinkle toes."

Finn was tempted, very tempted to let her do what she wanted. It's not like she would face the same consequences one of the guys would. Still, as much as he hated to admit it Jesse kind of had a point. Hell, he even kind of got why Rachel had forgiven him. Those two were a lot alike. He tugged Mercedes hand so that she was sitting next to him and gave her a small smile.

"Guys, maybe we should hear his suggestions for Nationals. We don't have to follow them if we don't like them, but he does know what he's talking about," Finn said. Everyone turned to look at him, and he squirmed a little. He really didn't like being the center of attention anymore. "Come on, St. James let's hear what you've got."

Jesse nodded, "Well, the original song thing worked for Regionals but it won't work for Nationals. The judges are too traditional. You don't have time to learn choreography for an entire new set and with such a small group you are better off highlighting your top talent. You should do the Valerie number from Sectionals, with two small changes. First, add Tina to Mike and Brittany's dance feature and extend it. Second, Santana needs to give her solo on at least one of the verses to Mercedes. The rest of you should do the choreography you already know.

Finn thought that sounded reasonable. Their spark, and he really liked that word, aside he knew Mercedes deserved a solo, and he knew that the dancing had made a big impression on the judges.

"Okay, what else you got?" Santana asked and Finn couldn't really say he was surprised at how easy she had been won over given that both her and Brittany were being featured.

"Well, to open your set you really want to blow the judges away vocally and show the other teams that you are a real threat. I think that Rachel and Kurt should pick a duet. Countertenors are rare and it's a good excuse to show off," Jesse said. Finn figured that sounded okay. Sure, he'd given Rachel a solo but everyone knew how good she was even if they wouldn't admit it. At least this way Kurt got a chance too.

"Well, so far I can't disagree," Kurt said adjusting his bangs.

"That leaves a big group number. Something new that you can learn the choreography for over the two weeks you have left. It has to be serious choreography though, a real showstopper. Something with a guitar solo for Artie?" Jesse finished and as Finn watched him look around the room nobody said a word. Finally Puck spoke, "Well, it seems he has a fucking clue after all. Guess we better get our asses in gear if we want to win this thing."

The approval from someone who didn't get a solo or feature, from Puck no less, seemed to the thing that pushed everyone over the edge. As everyone started brainstorming song selections for the group number Finn squeezed Mercedes shoulder and slipped out the door with a whispered promise to call her later that night.

**

After leaving his friends to decide on the songs to go with Jesse's (hopefully not evil) plan Finn went out to the courtyard and started to work on his math homework. His grades had actually started improving since he didn't have to worry about Spanish and had an extra study hall as well. Even better, he now only had to go see Dr. McKenna twice a week unless he felt like he needed to talk so he got homework done during that period too. He hadn't had a panic attack in while and his friends don't treat him like he's going to break anymore.

He was halfway through the assignment when a shadow fell over his book and he looked up to find Puck staring down at him. Progress aside, Puck looming over you is generally not something you want to have happen so Finn motioned to the step beside him and Puck sat.

"So, you and Aretha?"

"Yeah, she's pretty awesome," Finn said, expecting Puck to mock him for the huge smile that happened whenever he thought about Mercedes lately.

"I know, dude. We kind of had a thing for a week or so remember?" Puck ran a hand through his mohawk.

"Oh, yeah. There couldn't be a Cheerio you didn't hook up with right? Well, one I guess. By the way, if you come near Kurt it is my duty to kill you. Dad will help me hide the body."

"First, no way dude. I've done high maintenance before, but that's more than even I can handle. Anderson's a saint. Second, I'm not like that anymore. Third, and you should really talk about this stuff with her: Aretha and I didn't actually, um, hook up or anything. Just don't tell anyone, I've got to keep the myth of El Puckerone alive," Puck said with a shrug.

"Really?" Finn had kind of hoped that was the case. He totally meant to talk to Mercedes about that stuff, but they weren't anywhere near there yet.

"Really, bro. It was more of a business arrangement than a relationship," Puck said. Finn looked at his former best friend in a way he hadn't in a long time. Puck had been different in the last couple months. Like more mature in ways that Finn was just figuring out how to be himself and he didn't think that happened on it's own. Not at their age.

"Noah?" and Finn was pretty sure he hadn't actually used Puck's first name since about the fifth grade when Puck's dad left and he shaved his head, "Did something happen while you were in Juvie?"

Puck let out a long breath, but shook his head. "Not like that. I mean, you spend almost all your time in fake school or locked in your room. I did get beat up though, it was scary as hell. Look, I get that we never really talked about real stuff, but we could. I mean if you want to. Being creeped on sucks ," Puck said.

Finn couldn't help but stare at the other boy. Was somebody bothering him, or hurting him? Puck didn't have people in his life the same way Finn did, especially after last year. "What? Did Mr. Schue..?" He had no idea how to finish that question really, "Noah, what do you mean?"

"Forget it."

"No, not "forget it". You wouldn't have said it like that if you weren't for real," Finn said.

"Let's just say I'm glad that Rachel got Ryerson fired when she did. It was getting harder to avoid him. Just, he said some shit." Puck said.

"Shit, dude. That's messed up. Did you tell anyone?" Finn figured he already knew the answer.

"No. It was seriously right before she got rid of him. You see that doctor lady they brought in right?"

"Dr. McKenna? Yeah, it helps a lot. It's weird because it's not just helping with that stuff." Finn wasn't sure he could explain that he was starting to understand his feelings. That wasn't even it, exactly. That's just the closest thing he can figure out.

Puck nodded, "They made talk to this guy in Juvie. He was okay. We talked about a lot of stuff; my dad, Beth, the pool cleaning stuff."

"You don't do that anymore do you?" Finn asked. He'd never really thought about it until recently, but it kind of bothered him.

"No way. I mean, I actually clean pools, but not the other stuff. I don't want to be that guy anymore. It's like, I can do better than that," Puck said.

"Like I don't want to just go with whatever is easiest? Pushing people around, or letting girls push me around. Doing whatever to be popular so nobody will mess with me. It kind of feels like a waste of time."

"Maybe we're both growing up," Puck said, pushing himself up and offering a hand to Finn. The others would be out of practice soon.

"It's about time. You should come for dinner sometime, I think mom's forgiven you by now." Finn said, taking the hand and pulling himself up. He gave Puck a one armed hug before heading to the parking lot to find Kurt and his ride home.

The next day Finn found himself at the Lima Bean after school with Kurt, Mercedes, and Sam. They were having a good time, just talking about everyday stuff. It was nice, being with people he trusted completely. Sam was talking about the summer internship he had applied for at Fox Sports Ohio. When Sam was done Mercedes turned to him, "So what do you want to do after high school?"

Finn didn't know what to say. He'd been thinking for a while that he might want to be a teacher but that had been mostly because of Mr. Schue. He wasn't so sure now, he didn't know if he could split the two things in his brain enough. He wasn't sure whether Kurt could tell he'd frozen or he just saw the opportunity because he cut in with "You'll have to excuse Finn, he's not used to women who allow him to have his own opinions."

The resulting laugh from everyone at the table bought him enough time to get his shit together. "I don't know, " he said, "something where I don't sit at a desk all day. If I could do something to help people that would be cool too."

Mercedes nodded, "That's cool, I think I'm going to major in business actually. No scheming manager is going to steal my money when I'm a star."

"That's awesome," Finn said, "You could make sure nobody rips off Kurt's fashion stuff with cheap knock-offs too."

It totally made sense, nobody would want to mess with Mercedes. The fact that both she and Kurt were both beaming at him made him feel a lot better than he did a few minutes ago. It wasn't long after that that Mercedes looked at her phone, "Oh, I promised mom I'd be home for dinner tonight. TJ is home from college for the summer and she wants everyone together."

"I'll walk you out," Finn said quickly and jumped up leaving Kurt and Sam at the table. He took Mercedes hand and walked out to the parking lot and pulled her around the other side of the car so their friends can't watch through the window.

"Hey prom date," he said with a smile, "I'll pick you up at six?"

"Six is good. I should warn you my brother might want to give you the "you hurt her, I kill you" speech," Mercedes warned him.

"I can't complain. I was going to do it to Blaine, but Kurt caught me practicing in front of the mirror with Burt's tire iron and told mom."

Whoa, she was pretty when she laughed. Even when she was laughing at him. "So, prom is Saturday. I was kind of hoping maybe you and I can do something on Sunday? Just the two of us?"

"I'd like that. I've got church in the morning, but I should be free by two or so," Mercedes said.

"Do you like bowling? I mean, we can do something else, but with movies we don't really get to talk and.." He stopped his rambling when she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Bowling is great Finn, but I'm warning you that I'm pretty good," she teased.

The wind had been blowing pretty hard since they left the coffee shop and her hair was whipping around in front of her face. Finn reached out and smoothed it back, leaving his hand cupping the back of her head, "It's a date," he said, "We'll see if you've got skills."

She smiled and he tipped her head up a little bit before placing a kiss on her forehead, "I don't want to make you late for dinner, I'll talk to you soon."

"Dinner will be over by eight. Find me on Facebook chat after that, handsome," she said and pecked him on the cheek before climbing into her car.

He watched her leave before heading back to the table with Sam and Kurt, another silly smile on his face.

Shannon didn't trust the little twerp. When she'd agreed to help the glee club go to Nationals she figured there would be some ego wrangling involved. Still, a team was a team and she knew how to get the best out of the people she coached. She didn't expect most of the ego to come from the college kid they had agreed to let help with the music stuff. She was tempted to call a friend at Carmel and check the kid's records. She suspected he had been using a stage name since puberty, "Jesse St. James" damn sure sounded made up.

After the first practice Jones had taken her, Evans, and Zizes aside and explained what the little schemer had pulled on the Berry girl last year. Despite all that they had decided to accept his help preparing for Nationals. It's crap like this that makes her think being terminally single is the only option for a woman with actual self-respect. Still, she didn't know anything about the music stuff and he did. She told herself her dislike for the little jackass was all about him, which it mostly was, and he didn't in any way remind her of Will.

She'd been late to his first meeting and missed the fireworks, damn prima donna track stars and their locker room tantrums. Still, as much as she hated to admit it the kid's plan sounded good to her. At least more of the team than Berry and Hudson were getting solos. Not that Hudson was singing. She wasn't going to push, and she hoped the kids weren't either. She'd thought about putting the fear of God in them, but until she was aware of a problem she'd cool her heels. Given the way Hudson had been looking Jones lately he might be ready to put it out there sooner than she thought. Good for him. Still, nobody messes with her players no matter what team it is. St. James better watch his step.

Finn spent the hour before the prom getting ready in Kurt's room. He knew that Kurt had started several hours before, but seriously, how long could it possibly take him to put on a tux. While Finn was fixing his jacket Kurt stood at the vanity trying to force a few strands of hair into place.

"Thank you for helping me with the flower thing, and letting us ride with you," Finn said. He was really looking forward to prom, much more than he had been before. It was a lot more fun to go to prom without all the pressure. Breaking up with Quinn meant that he probably wasn't going to be Prom King and he really didn't care. He didn't have to worry about looking perfect or working the crowd, he just had to make sure that Mercedes had a good time. Quinn made him pass out pens with their names on them.

"No problem, I have to look after my best girl," Kurt said.

"You are okay with this, right? I don't want it to be weird because of last year and who liked who or whatever. I mean I know we're all past that but you know what I mean," Finn said.

Kurt waved his hand like he was shooing a fly away, "It's all ancient history. You two make sense. I never would have seen it before, but you are kind of the normal ones out of all of us."

Finn laughed, he was barely starting to feel normal again, but he knew what Kurt meant. "Hey, Sam's pretty normal!"

"If you don't count the Navi and the bad impressions. Somehow he ended up taking Brittany to Prom though," Kurt said, "she's pretty close to that perfect record."

Finn chose not to think about his "date" with Santana and Brittany. He wasn't sure if being used

for a free meal was better or worse than what Quinn did.

"So are you and Blaine excited about prom?" Finn asked, trying to change the subject. He was surprised when Kurt only gave him a sad smile.

"Blaine has been trying to play it down, but I know he's scared. The last time he went to a dance he and his date got beat up," Kurt said.

"Dude that's so fucked up. Blaine is so tiny! Look, you guys are going with us and we're meeting up with everyone else when we get there. Just stay close to Sam and I and we'll make sure nobody messes with you. " Finn said.

Kurt nodded, "Thanks, that will make Blaine feel better. It means a lot to him that you guys include him."

"Well, somehow surviving a duet and a date with Rachel makes you an honorary member of New Directions. That's just how it goes," Finn teased. He laughed until Kurt punched him in the arm. "That actually hurt, bro! You are going to have to stop that stuff now that you are actually taller than some of the girls!"

Kurt rolled his eyes, but Finn could tell he was happy that someone actually noticed that he was taller and stronger, "Speaking of honorary members of New Directions, and surviving Rachel; If you and Sam keep an eye on the neanderthals I'll keep an eye on Jesse. Just because he gave me a duet for Nationals doesn't mean I trust him not to hurt Rachel."

Finn nodded, he knew a verbal smackdown from Kurt was their best chance at dealing with St. Lame. Before they could say anything else Carole's voice came from downstairs to tell them that Blaine was here to pick Kurt up. They'd go to Mercedes house to pick her up next and Dr. Jones would make sure everyone was emailed the pictures.

Finn tried not be nervous while his parents arranged them for picture after picture. He smiled through poses with his mom, both his parents, with Kurt, and by himself. He knew that was only the start of what would be a long night of poses and smiles. When they were finally done he hopped in the back of the Navigator and Kurt took the wheel. They only had to backtrack a block when he realized he'd left Mercedes' corsage in the fridge.

Finn went up to the Jones' door and knocked, trying to resist the urge stuff his hands in his pockets. Kurt had already told him that would ruin the line of the suit or something like that. He didn't want to look like a slob in front of her family. He could still remember the way Quinn's parents looked at him, and that was before they knew she was pregnant.

Instead of Dr. or Mrs. Jones a guy a few years older than Finn answered the door. Finn swallowed, this must be the older brother. "Um, hello. My name is Finn Hudson," Finn said, and damn, that probably shouldn't sound like a question, "I'm here to take Mercedes to prom." That was better.

The older guy narrowed his eyes, "I'm TJ, the older brother. We were going to have a long chat about you respecting Mercedes, but she tells me that Kurt approves so I'm going to keep it short. If you disrespect my little sister in any way I will kick your ass. Are we clear?"

Finn nodded quickly, "Very clear. Don't worry, I really like her and I think she could kick my ass herself."

"You might be okay, Hudson," TJ said. Finn started to relax just a little when TJ said "Come into the living room." Then TJ put his hands on Finn's shoulders and started to push him in the right direction. Before he even knew what he was doing Finn was twisting out of the other man's grip and flattening himself against the opposite wall. Oh, shit. That was not normal prom date behavior. TJ was kind of staring at him, his hands still in mid-air. Thankfully, that was when Kurt decided to make his entrance.

"TJ? You aren't being too hard on him are you?" Kurt's voice rang out form the door way and Finn could hear the heave boots he was wearing coming down the hall.

"I didn't do anything!" TJ said, confused.

Kurt took one look at Finn and said, "It's fine TJ. Can you go tell Mercedes to hurry up. I need a minute with my brother."

When the young man nodded and headed upstairs Kurt faced Finn. "What happened, are you okay?"

"Nothing happened. He put his hands on my shoulders to go into the living room. It was too much and I jumped away. He probably thinks I'm crazy," Finn said, embarrassed.

Kurt shook his head, "Don't worry about it. TJ is all talk. He doesn't get to pick her dates, and Mercedes would understand why you did it. Are you ready for your date's grand entrance?"

Finn took a deep breath, "Yeah, let's go in there. I even remembered to bring the flower in from the car."

They went into the living room to find Blaine waiting with Mercedes family. Mercedes' voice called from upstairs, "Y'all ready for this?"

"You've kept him waiting long enough, sweetheart," Dr. Jones called in response and Mercedes started down the stairs. Finn thought his mouth might be hanging open. Mercedes looked amazing. Her dress was blue, or at least the top was. The skirt was kind of puffy and it looked mostly blue but it shined purple in places when she walked. Her hair was up and she was wearing a necklace with shiny blue and purple beads.

When she got the the bottom of the stairs he smiled, "You look beautiful. Are you sure you want to be seen with me?'

"You clean up pretty good, I think I'll give you a shot, " she teased, straightening the skinny tie Kurt had chosen for him.

"Lucky me. These are for you," he said, holding up her flowers.

"Pin it on?" She asked and looked he looked at her questioningly. Finn wasn't sure that was such a good idea.

"Oh for heaven's sake! Get a picture with him pretending and I'll put it on for you. The last thing we need is a trip to the ER for a puncture wound," Kurt said as Blaine tried not to laugh. Finn nodded in relief and they did exactly that before taking another couple dozen pictures. Finally they headed out.

After an uneventful dinner at Breadstix they handed their Prom tickets over to Madame Barens the French teacher and went inside. Finn knew that Kurt was one of her favorite students, and knowing his parents it probably wasn't a coincidence that she, Coach Bieste, and Sue Sylvester where chaperoning the prom.

Once inside they quickly met up with Sam, Brittany, Mike and Tina. They all took time to admire each other's outfits and Finn relaxed a bit when he saw how much Mercedes was smiling. She pulled away after a little bit to stand next to Finn, "It looks like Sam and Blaine have found some stuff to talk about. Maybe Kurt and Blaine will relax now that you guys are around."

"I promised Kurt I'd have their back, and I meant it. Would you like to dance? We'll stay in this part of the gym," Finn said, noticing that the DJ had started playing something slow. He was better at the slow dances anyway.

"I'd love to," she said, taking his and and pulling him over the closest edge of the dance floor. He just smiled an pulled her closer.

***

Finn and Mercedes danced several songs together before switching up partners. Finn danced with Tina, Brittany, and Lauren and tried his best to not step on their feet. He always had trouble during the faster songs. After a while they took a break from dancing themselves to watch Mike and Brittany who were doing moves that made Finn dizzy even to watch. Finn thought it sucked that Kurt and Blaine were too nervous to dance with each other, it was their prom too. Maybe he and Mercedes could think of a way to help. He was just about to take her out for another round of dancing when Mason, one of the guys that had caused trouble in their biology class came over to Finn.

"I know Puckerman's been slumming it, but I expected better from the quarterback. Or is some fat ghetto ass the best you can do now that Schuester is done with you?" Mason said with a leer. Everything went so fast it all happened before Finn's mind made a decision between freaking out and ripping Mason's head off. He felt two sets of hands attempting to drag him back and from the murmur of "cutting his brake lines" and "uncivilized behavior" he knew it was Kurt and Blaine. He could see that Lauren was holding Puck back and yelling at him about probation and juvenile detention while fixing her best death glare on Mason. Tina and Mike had run up to comfort Mercedes. Sam took two steps toward Mason, but before he could land a punch Brittany came up beside him. "You're being really mean. I don't like it when people are mean to my friends," she said and with no warning at all she brought her leg up for a high kick landing right between Mason's legs. She looked at him slumped on the floor and smiled, "Oh, by the way. Santana and I think you have the smallest dick in the school and we would know."

While Finn had cringed with the rest of the guys when Brittany's foot landed he was still shaking and was hoping that Kurt and Blaine wouldn't let go right away in case he collapsed. He knew he was supposed to figure out what exactly he was feeling, Dr. McKenna said that would keep things from getting too out of control. Well, he was angry. He had a gay stepbrother so he knew that there were some pretty horrible people in Lima, but talking about Mercedes like that because she was black? They'd learned about all that stuff in history class, but he kind of couldn't believe someone would say that.

He thought that "ghetto" meant like poor and stuff, but Mercedes' dad was a orthodontist and they lived in the nice part of Lima. It's not cool to pick on people because they're poor anyway. He'd hated it in elementary school when he'd gotten teased for getting a free lunch just because they didn't have a lot of money while his mom was learning how to be a nurse.

He was scared too. Worried that Mason actually knew something. Plus, he was embarrassed that he hadn't been able to defend Mercedes. He should have been the one shutting that idiot up, not Sam or Brittany. Sure he was glad his friends were there, but he felt so weak sometimes. While he was trying to get himself together Coach Bieste and Ms. Sylvester came over.

"What the hell happened here?" Coach Bieste asked, looking at Mason who was still on the ground. Sam put an arm around Brittany's shoulders and quietly explained to the two teachers what had happened. Both of them looked furious by the time she finished and Sue Sylvester spoke first, "I'd be happy to give this young man some diversity training." Finn could tell by the way she said it that Mason wasn't going to be writing essays and watching those cheesy movies from the state board of education. Coach Sylvester grabbed Mason's ear and hauled him to his feet. Before she dragged him out the door she turned back, "Oh, and Space Cadet Barbie," she said to Brittany, "your tanning privileges are reinstated. Nice work." Finn almost smiled when the blonde girl squealed and clapped her hands with joy.

He was starting to wonder if they should all just go home when Coach Bieste pulled him aside and slipped something small and metal into his hand. "Maybe you and your friends would rather finish the night in the auditorium? You should still be able to hear the music from there." Finn looked down and saw that she had given him the key to the stage door, maybe they could still have a good night after all. "Thanks coach."

She smiled at him, "Don't mention it. I mean that. Figgins won't like it, but winning coaches at this school seem to get away with a lot. It's about time someone used the power for good. And Hudson, no funny business. I'm trusting you."

"Got it Coach, and thanks," Finn said. He quickly explained to Mercedes where they were going and they quietly rounded up Kurt, Blaine, Sam and Brittany to go with them. Puck and Lauren wanted to stay until Prom King and Queen were announced. Finn didn't expect to win, and didn't care so he carefully lead their little group down to the auditorium with one arm looped tightly around Mercedes' waist. They were careful to avoid Rachel and Jesse on the way out. Just because Jesse knew a lot about show choir didn't mean they had to hang out with him. Besides, nobody wanted to get either of those two near a stage.

When they got to the doors of the auditorium Finn waved the other two couples inside and sat with Mercedes on one of the benches in the hallway. "I'm sorry I didn't do a better job of protecting you," he said.

"Don't worry about that, I'm used to those ignorant assholes. I heard all of what he said, Finn. I think you did pretty good, actually," she said. She leaned her head on his shoulder, which was fast becoming his favorite way for them to sit.

"You shouldn't be used to that. I don't know what is wrong with people in this town. It's like we're trapped in some backwards time warp or something," he said. There was more he wanted to tell her, how beautiful he thought she was, how much he liked sitting close to her. He wasn't sure how to do it without sounding cheesy or fake though. He didn't want those things to be about reacting to Mason anyhow.

"Well, I'll be damned if I let them stop us from having a good time. Let's go dance on stage. This is better anyway, we can all just chill and dance with our dates," she said standing up and offering him her hand.

He took it and followed her through the door and onto the stage. He stopped for a few minutes since this was the first time he'd been anywhere near here since it happened, but he actually felt okay about it. He was here with some of the people he trusted most in the world and every single one of them had already protected him in one way or another, even Blaine who he was just getting to know. As he pulled Mercedes closer, her arms moving from his shoulders to around his neck, he smiled over her shoulder at his stepbrother who was doing the same with his own date. This was much better than being in with everyone else. A number of slow songs passed just like that except occasionally some of them would sing along softly with the music.

When the music sped up a bit Finn took a breather while Mercedes and Brittany went to sneak some bottled water out of the Cheerio;s locker room. While they'd been dancing Finn had been thinking and now he had the opportunity to put his plan in action. His friends were taking a break too, Sam was sprawled across the first row of seats and Kurt was sitting with his back up against the piano with his boyfriend leaning up against his chest. He made his way over to the couple on the floor. "Guys, I need your help. I want to sing to Mercedes but it would help to have the piano behind me. Do either of you know that Billy Joel song "She's Got a Way" ?" Finn asked.

"I do," Blaine said, "or at least I can fake it well enough." Finn nodded his thanks and fiddled with his tie, "We'll do it as soon as the girls get back, okay?"

"Finn, this is the first time you've sung at all since everything happened isn't it?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, I think I can do this. I mean, I want to. I've got all these things I want to say and I'm not sure how. I can do that if I sing," Finn explained.

Kurt nodded, "Okay. I'm proud of you and this is going to mean a lot to her."

Finn just grinned, "That's the idea, just give me a few minutes to get my head together."

He knew this song, he could do this. He wanted this to be what she remembered about tonight. He took a bottle of water from Brittany when the girls came back and told them both to sit with Sam and Kurt in the front row. Blaine sat down at the piano and Finn took a deep breath. Blaine played a couple bars of the intro and he started to sing, quietly at first. After a few lines he was able to look up and find Mercede's eyes in the audience. She was looking straight back into his eyes and she was beaming up at him, one of her hands over her mouth. He knew she understood. Feeling stronger he picked up the volume as he sung:

She comes to me when I'm feelin' down

Inspires me without a sound

She touches me and I get turned around

She's got a way of showin'

How I make her feel

And I find the strength to keep on goin'

She's got a light around her

And ev'rywhere she goes a million

Dreams of love surround her ev'rewhere

She had been there for him, before he had even expected it. She brightened his whole day when she smiled and now he could tell her without tripping over the words. More than that, he felt free being able to sing again. He was singing for her, and for himself. He knew now that he wasn't willing to lock this part of himself away even if that would be easier. He still wasn't sure about Nationals, but for now, tonight, he wanted to sing. He finished the song, strong and loud. When he was done his friends rushed the stage. To his frustration Brittany was the first to throw her arms around him, and he ended up hugging everyone else while Mercedes hung back. Finally he stepped away from the group and towards her.

"Did you like your song?" he asked. She was still smiling and she just nodded, he could see that her eyes were a little damp but he knew it wasn't the bad kind of tears.

"You're amazing, have I told you that already?" He asked, standing directly in front of her and looking down into her eyes.

"You have, but I won't stop you, " she said, "You're pretty amazing yourself, Finn."

Ignoring everyone else around them he reached down and cupped her cheek. He saw her lick her lips and he knew she was okay with what was going to happen next. He bent his head down and met her lips as his thumb brushed a tear from her cheek. It was soft at first, another step for him and a whole new experience for her. Soon she found her confidence and he pressed more firmly as well, moving his lips just a bit against hers. He could hear the whoops and catcalls behind him, but he took his time before breaking them apart gently with his hand still resting on her cheek.

"So, having a good prom so far?" He asked.

"Best night ever," she replied linking her arm with his and pulling both of them back to the group.


	7. 7

It didn't take long for their time in the auditorium to turn into a New Directions jam session. After a few songs Sam slipped back into the gym to get more of their friends to join them. The first person through the door was a smug looking Puck followed by Lauren who was wearing the Prom Queen crown and carrying the princess stick thing with the ball on the end. He could never remember the word for that. Finn was a little surprised, Lauren was pretty awesome even if she was a little mean sometimes, but prom queen always went to the popular girls like Quinn. Mike and Tina followed them in pushing Artie's chair up the new ramp. After a few group songs Puck came up and tugged Finn to the side of the stage behind the curtain, "Hey, you're singing."

"Yeah, well it's just us right now. I had something I wanted to say to Mercedes, and you know how it goes. So Lauren won?" Finn asked.

Puck sighed, "Yeah, and so did Karofsky. Sylvester did the announcement, but she was up to something."

"She rigged the prom queen results? Doesn't she have bigger evil plans to hatch?" Finn said shaking his head.

"She did. At first I thought it was so none of the girls who quit the Cheerios would win. Lauren didn't want to win that way, so we cornered her," Puck said.

"You what? And you got out alive? What happened?" Finn asked.

"Well she threatened to rip us to pieces for a few minutes, and then she confessed. She showed us the card from the envelope. Karofsky did win, but so did Kurt," Puck said, and Finn could tell he was getting pissed again.

"Huh? How can they both win Prom King? I don't get it." Finn said, he knew things had been a bit easier for Kurt lately, but he wasn't exactly popular.

"Hummel didn't win king, Finn. Those assholes voted him queen," Puck said, punching a fist into his palm.

"WHAT? If we find out who was behind this we're going to kill them right? Kurt can't know, now that we're away from the crowd they are having such a good time, " he looked around the curtain where Mike was attempting to teach Kurt and Sam some kind of dance move, "Blaine doesn't even have that nervous look he had the whole time we were in there."

"Damn right we're going to take care of this, and we're the only ones who know, thanks to Coach Sylvester of all people," Puck said.

"It hurts my head when she's not evil, like with Becky and stuff. It's a good thing Kurt is on her good side," Finn said.

"Let's get back to our dates, I don't trust Lauren for very long with a big pointy stick."

Finn waited for the rest, he'd been friends with Puck since the third grade and he knew what to expect by now.

"There's only one big stick I want her handling tonight, if you know what I mean," Puck said with a leer.

Finn punched him in the arm, "Dude, not your best material. You'd better not let her hear you talking like that."

"No kidding," Puck said and swaggered back over the the group throwing his arms around Lauren and Brittany.

Finally they heard the music in the gym winding down. Finn knew that Coach Bieste expected them to clear out at the same time so they made sure that everything was in it's place and headed out to the parking lot as a group. While Finn's parents had extended his and Kurt's curfew to midnight they were expected to be in on time. His mom had explained that if they behaved responsibly tonight they might have more freedom for their senior prom. Finn figured that was pretty fair, and he knew his mom was still worried about him. Luckily nobody bothered them on the way to their cars and he climbed in the backseat with Mercedes, letting Blaine take shotgun next to Kurt. It seemed a little unfair since Blaine was such a little dude, but this way he could put his arm around Mercedes so he wasn't going to complain.

When they reached Mercedes' house he jumped out and ran around to open her door, earning him a smile from Mercedes and a thumbs up from Kurt. He rolled his eyes at his stepbrother, he wasn't that clueless. He grabbed Mercedes' hand on the way to the door and smiled when she squeezed his hand. When they reached her porch he kissed her again, and now that he wasn't so nervous and they didn't have an audience he wanted to make this one count. He felt her arms go around his waist and he rested his on her shoulders. After a few minutes they both needed some air but they didn't step away. Mercedes rested her head on his shoulder like she had when they were dancing, "Damn, Finn. I think we're getting good at this. I think we better call it a night before before we aren't taking our time anymore."

"I think you're right. I wanted to give you a perfect night. I know it wasn't, but it was pretty good anyway. At, least I think it was. Thanks to Coach Bieste and Sue Sylvester," he said.

"Finn, it's okay. I had a great night and it was thanks to other stuff that happened wasn't your fault and we should forget all about it. Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"For sure, we'll be outside for a while and you should probably wear sneakers. Okay?" Finn asked. He had spent an hour using google to find a date idea that he hadn't done with Rachel or Quinn.

"You got it, but do I seem like an outdoorsy kind of girl to you?" she replied.

"Don't worry, it's not like we're going hiking or something. You can always wear my jacket if you get too cold," he said.

She smiled, "It's adorable that you think your jacket will fit me. Okay, outside clothing it is."

That was when he heard Kurt tap the horn, it was getting close to curfew and they didn't want to be late. He kissed her again quickly and jogged back to the Navigator making sure that she got inside the house first.

Finn and Kurt made it in to the house with three minutes to spare on their curfew, Finn was not surprised at all to find that Burt had been waiting up for them. Finn had been thinking about stuff since he'd talked to Puck a few days ago, especially now that he knew that Mercedes and Puck didn't do much of anything. And then that kiss. If he thought he saw fireworks with Quinn that was nothing compared to kissing Mercedes. Tonight it had felt like his entire body was on fire. He thought she must have felt it too, she kind of hinted at that much. She said it was good anyway. That was something.

It wasn't so much that what had happened with Schue made him worry about getting somewhere with Mercedes. Not in a panic attack way, anyhow. It was just that he'd already figured out that something was missing with Santana and his only other experience was forced on him.

He didn't know if anything would happen with Mercedes, but if it did he wanted it to mean something. He went into the kitchen where Burt was finishing off the last of the low sodium rice puffs Kurt let him eat as a snack. "Dad? Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure, kid. Did everything go alright tonight? Are you okay?" Burt said, pulling a chair up across the table from where Finn had sat down.

"Well, one of the guys gave me shit over dating Mercedes. He was saying these horrible things about her being black and stuff and it didn't even make any sense!" Finn was ready to get angry all over again.

Burt sighed, "It doesn't make any sense to you because you use your brain and follow your heart. People like that don't have much of either."

"Yeah, well. We both know I've said some pretty shitty stuff too," Finn said, looking down at his shoes. He wasn't proud of freaking out on Kurt last year.

"Hey, you are the only one who hasn't forgiven you for that. You understand now and that's what matters. Some of the people in this town never will. Is that what has you worried tonight?" Burt asked.

Finn shook his head, "I'm glad we talked about it, but I was really thinking about something else. Sex mostly, but not like what goes where and stuff like that or even about what happened because that doesn't have anything to do with it. It's just, the feelings stuff. I had sex with Santana last year, but something was missing I think. I guess what I'm wondering is how do you even know if you should do that with somebody?"

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry that I can't give a definite answer, but I can tell you that being with someone like that isn't just about the physical. The physical stuff just lasts for that little bit of time, but there's lots of mental and emotional stuff that goes along with it and that lasts a lot longer, " he said.

Finn nodded, "Yeah, that's the stuff I mean. I don't really want to do the physical stuff if it doesn't mean something. I wish I hadn't let Santana talk me into it before."

"Finn, I think you already understand all this stuff better than you think and I'm proud of you for not just wanting the easy thing. You matter more than that and so does she. The best thing I can tell you is to talk to the other person. If you can't talk about anything and everything with that person then maybe you aren't close enough to get physically close either," Burt said.

That made a lot of sense. Oh, crap. His dad probably thought he was planning on having sex with Mercedes soon and this totally wasn't about that. Not exactly anyway. Okay, so he occasionally thought about it, but he thought that actually meant he was pretty okay with stuff. "She's not like that. Mercedes, I mean. I don't want to push her. That's not what all this is about. I think it would be pushing myself too. That would just be kind of dumb. I'm just asking, you know. Trying to figure stuff out."

"It's okay Finn. I'm glad you are thinking about this feelings stuff. It's important. And yes, it would be dumb to rush into things with a girl you really care about. Especially a girl with an older brother who is stronger than you and a best friend who knows where you sleep and how to mess with your car," Burt teased, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Just be honest with each other, you'll be okay."

They'd been pretty good about laying out the truth so far. They could keep it up. "Thanks, Dad. I feel better. I'm going to get some sleep, I've got a date tomorrow."

"Goodnight, kiddo."

***

When Finn shuffled down in search of breakfast the next morning Kurt was already at the table, the Style section of the New York Times open in front of him.

"Well look who decided to get up today," he said. Finn shrugged and looked at the clock, it was only 10:30.

"I don't have to be anywhere. Mercedes isn't finished with her church and family stuff until later," he said, dumping half a box of Fruit Loops into a mixing bowl and adding milk. He carefully ignored Kurt's disgusted expression. He was hungry, and cereal was healthy right?

"Where are you taking her this afternoon. Her text said something about outdoor clothes? Are you serious?" Kurt asked, his eyes an thumbs never leaving his phone.

"I was going to take her bowling, but then I remembered I did that with Rachel. Then there's not much open in Lima on a Sunday," he said.

"Or any other day," Kurt cut in.

"Yeah, so I googled stuff and we're going to go have a picnic and fly a kite at Robb Park. Actually, I was kind of hoping you could help me with the food. I want this to be really nice for her," Finn said.

"I'll help you. I'm not doing it for you, it won't mean anything if I do. But I will help you. It's sweet that you want to do all this stuff, but I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Mercedes is fabulous, but she's not that high maintenance, " Kurt said, finally looking up from his phone.

"Yeah, but that's why I want to do it. It's like since I know she's not going to yell at me if it's not perfect, I want to make sure we'll have a good time," Finn said. He'd actually thought about this. He'd run over to the toy store when he'd picked up their flowers for prom and bought a kite. He'd gotten the picnic basket and blanket from the attic. When he was younger and they didn't have a lot of money sometimes his mom would take him on picnics to get them out of the house. They'd just have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and milk from those little cartons like you get at school but he got to go on the swings and spend time with his mom and it was pretty awesome.

Kurt looked at him for a minute before coming around the table and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, "Finn, I think that's one of the smarter things I've ever heard you say."

"Thanks, I think?" Finn said, with a grin. It was nice to have a brother, even if it was kind of annoying when he was smarter than you.

His stepbrother just laughed, and shook his head. "Come on, let's go to the grocery store before all the little old ladies get out of church."

It was three o'clock when he pulled up outside of Mercedes' house. It was a beautiful day, and not a cloud in the sky. It was a good thing, he hadn't exactly thought out a back up plan in case it rained. Finn was relieved when she answered the door, he was still too embarrassed to talk to TJ.

"Hey, there. Ready to go?" He asked, before leaning down and giving her a quick kiss.

"Let's hit it. I want to know what kind of wilderness adventure you've got planned," she said, wiggling her foot off the ground and he could see she'd chosen practical sneakers that were already dirty.

"Perfect!" he said. It really was, the ground was probably still a little muddy and she had so many pairs of awesome sneakers he knew she wouldn't want to get dirty.

They drove to the park and he even sang along to the radio a little as he pulled in to the parking lot by the open field. After opening the door for Mercedes he went around to the trunk and got the things for their picnic.

"I made chicken salad sandwiches and I have some grapes and barbecue chips to go with them. Kurt said that was your favorite kind," he explained as he laid out the blanket on dry spot under a tree.

"They are. It's really nice out here. This is my kind of outdoors," she said sitting cross -legged on the blanket and pulling Finn down next to her.

They ate their sandwiches enjoying the long awaited spring sunshine and talking about their fourth grade class picnic that had been held at the shelter at the other end of the park. He had almost forgotten that they had been in the same classes in fourth and sixth grade. That was the year that Puck had snuck some water balloons into the picnic and the two of them and Matt had gotten caught and had to pick up all the trash from their group as punishment. She had been pretty quiet back then and he hadn't paid attention to many girls at all until they got to the middle school.

"So, in fourth grade what did you want to be when you grow up?" she asked. He knew she was trying to help after their conversation the other day. Finn tried to remember. In kindergarten he wanted to be a cowboy, that's where the wallpaper in his old room had come from. After that he'd wanted to be one of the guys that digs up dinosaur bones. Then he did remember, of course he did.

"I wanted to be a firefighter. Like my dad was going to be when he got out of the army. Actually, that sounds like kind of cool idea," Finn said. He hadn't thought much about it since he was a kid, but it made a lot of sense. He wanted to do something that mattered.

Mercedes smiled, "Well, you should think about it. You're good at doing active stuff, if you don't count dancing. You actually care about people and want to help them, plus you are already in good shape from sports. I bet Mr. H knows someone at the Lima Fire Department who could tell you what you'd have to do."

Finn nodded, it wouldn't hurt to ask some questions. "If I did that I wouldn't even have to stay in Lima. I mean, they need firefighters everywhere." He knew it was supposed to be a big deal to get out of Lima, and that people didn't really expect him to. It hadn't really mattered as much to him before, and even though the secret was still mostly a secret he felt like it would be hanging over his head as long as he lived here. That could all wait though, he had a date to finish.

"So, you think I'm in good shape?" he said, putting down his third sandwich and striking a body builder pose. He seemed to spend a lot of time trying to make her laugh, but she was just so pretty when she did he couldn't help himself.

She did laugh and shook her head,"Please do not start talking about your "guns". I got my fill of that in three days from Puck."

He laughed too. "Don't worry, we still have a kite to fly if you're up for it," he said as he pushed himself up and offered Mercedes a hand.

"I don't think I've ever actually done this," she said, "let's give it a try."

He'd put the kite together before he picked her up, with only a little help from his dad. He gave Mercedes the kite and kept the other end of the string. With the next gust of wind he had her let go of the kite and he started to run back letting out more string as he went. The wind was pretty good and it didn't take long before the kite was flying high. When he was sure he had it right he waved Mercedes over and had her take the handle.

He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her showing her how to let out string and reel it in as the wind changed. After a while he just rested his hands around her waist and they watched the kite against the clouds, her head leaning back against his shoulder. He thought this might be fun, but he hadn't realized how peaceful it would be.

They stayed just like that for quite a while, just enjoying the sunshine and being close until the wind died down and the kite was dipping close to the ground. "I guess it's time to go," he said, packing up the kite.

"Yeah, I still have some homework to finish before tomorrow, but I had a really good time Finn," she said as they got into the car.

"So did I. Next weekend is Nationals, but maybe we can do something the next Friday?" He wanted to talk to her about Nationals. He had been thinking more and more about going to New York with his friends, with her. Still, it's not like he could just change his mind and jump back in with like four days to go, even if he was sure.

"Finn? I think I lost you for a minute there," she said. She put her hand on his arm, "Is everything okay? You can talk to me you know, I already know your darkest secrets."

Well, that was true. "I know, but sometimes I wish you didn't. I mean that so many people didn't know about it."

"Actually, I meant I know about you still having your Power Rangers action figures and that thing you do when you pretend you're in a spy movie, but we can talk about the heavy stuff if you want," she said.

He didn't quite smile, but a little huff that was not quite a laugh snuck out, "Remind me to tell Kurt what will happen the next time he goes snooping under my bed. Seriously, I was thinking about Nationals. I'm going to be here pretty much by myself, even Burt is going. Coach Bieste insisted there be at least one chaperone for the boys while she watches the girls and she refused to count Jesse."

"Can you blame her? He and Rachel are kind of nauseating when they are happy. Coach told him she could tolerate his input but if he wanted to go to New York and moon over Rachel he had to pay his own way," she explained. He knew some of the details from Kurt, but not everything.

"Coach is awesome," Finn replied.

"About that," Mercedes said, taking one his hands in both of hers, "I guess they didn't want to pressure you, but since you brought it up I guess I get to be the one to tell you."

"Tell me what?" His heart was pounding a little, but he thought it was probably only half because of whatever she had to say. The other half was from holding her hand and having their heads pressed so close together to talk.

"Finn, there has always been a ticket in your name to go to Nationals with us. It's up to you whether or not you're going to use it," she said gently.

**  
After he dropped Mercedes off he went home and went up to his room to think. It was up to him. He could go to Nationals if he wanted to, but did he want to? It was like what happened at Schue's place was the crazy end of everyone else telling him what to do . Like having his choice taken away in pretty much the worst way possible was the only way for him to actually get to a point where he got to make his own decisions. It was really weird.

Finn grabbed his book bag from under his bed and dug through it until he found his history notebook. Dr. McKenna had suggested he keep a journal, but he wasn't really so good with putting things into writing. Still, every once and a while he thought of stuff he wanted to talk about in his sessions or with his parents so he'd started jotting it down in the back of the notebook. Right now he flipped to the very last page that held a list that he had done as a type of homework for Dr. McKenna. In the beginning it had felt like he was wrong about everything. His life was all stretched and twisted like the fun house mirrors at the carnival that set up in the Walmart parking lot every summer. The list was called "I Know" and it had started with just three things, but he had kept adding to it long after they'd stopped discussing it during his sessions. Now it was a collection of thoughts in different colors of ink, some printed neatly and some scribbled.

I Know:

1\. My family loves me and believes in me.

2\. What happened to me was not my fault.

3\. If I can figure out what I am feeling it makes it easier to handle.

4\. Quinn only cares about being popular.

5\. Rachel and I are better off as friends.

6\. Mercedes is kind of awesome.

7\. I've forgiven Puck, and I think we can be friends again.

8\. I can trust my family, Mercedes, Sam, and Coach Bieste with anything.

Finn stared at the list for a while and it helped him get his head together. He opened the side pocket on his backpack and pulled out a pen. He looked at number six and smiled before crossing out "kind of" with thick black strokes of the pen. That was much better.

That was a good warm up. He took a breath and added:

9\. I can make my own decisions about my life.

Of course he wanted to see New York City with his friends, and especially Mercedes. They'd fought so hard to keep the club going for so long and now that something special was actually happening he couldn't help but wish he could be a part of it. What happened had brought everything crashing down around them as well not just him. As many times as he reminded himself of number two on his list he still worried about it.

But they still wanted him to go. They bought a ticket for him even though they each would have to pay more for splitting the budget by another person. Except for his mom, who had to work, the people he'd be going with were the ones he trusted the most. He knew it had been driving his friends crazy trying not to pressure him. Still, Sam had let slip that the guy's choreography for the group number was suspiciously repetitive. Finn knew that despite his lack of dancing ability that Mike and Kurt could have him caught up in an afternoon. He wouldn't hurt their chances.

He sighed and picked up the pen again.

10\. I did not ruin glee.

He knew the hardest part or Nationals would be the whispers and the staring. It didn't matter that his identity was a secret, they would still be "that glee club" with "that director". Not only had it been national news, but Rachel had explained to them that the show choir community just wasn't that big. Everybody was into everyone else's business to the point where three girls had slapped Jesse at Nationals last year for his stunt and none of them had ever met Rachel. While Finn wished he'd been able to see that go down it was pretty clear that New Directions would be getting a lot of attention and not because of their set list.

He knew how to handle the stress now, though, when he feels the panic coming on he can beat it. Besides, he doesn't have to do this by himself. His friends have stood by him all along and they would do it in New York. Sometimes he couldn't believe all the stuff that had happened this year. His life had changed completely. Everyone in his family had been through so much, but things were getting better and better. They totally were a family. Burt was healthy, and Kurt was so much happier. Over the last couple weeks Finn had started to feel normal again and in many ways he felt happier and more sure of himself then he had before. He knew there were still some things for him to deal with, but he couldn't help but look at the end of the school year as the time to get on with doing the things he wanted to do. He liked performing and he liked glee and he wasn't about to give it up. He picked up his pen again and added

11\. I can perform at Nationals.

He would talk to his parents as soon as they got home from a late run to the grocery store, but he picked up his phone and selected a couple numbers before sending a text message. Everyone else could wait until tomorrow, but then again they would probably find out before that anyhow.

To: Mercedes, Kurt, Sam, Coach

I want to go to Nationals.

He set his phone down on the desk and waited. A few seconds later he heard Kurt's phone chime in his room and footsteps pound down the hallway. As if on cue his stepbrother burst through his door.

"You want to come with us?" Kurt said and Finn could tell he was trying to hide how excited he was until he asked a few questions.

"Yep," Finn said, intentionally not offering up extra information.

"You're sure you are ready for this?" He watched as Kurt began bouncing on his heels just a little more.

"Yep," he said again, watching Kurt's eyes narrow as he figured out Finn was sort of messing with him.

Kurt crossed his arms and said, "You aren't just doing this because you think we'll be mad if you don't go?"

"Nope," Finn replied, but he couldn't keep up the act any longer and his face split into a grin. "New York City, here I come!"

"Yes! We were hoping you would change your mind. Um, don't be mad but dad and I did all your paperwork a few weeks ago and our parents paid for your ticket because flying last minute can be a disaster. Mike and I can totally get you caught up on the choreography but you might need to let Jesse help a little," Kurt said, almost too fast for Finn to take it all in.

Finn held up a hand, "It's okay. I know. Mercedes told me I had a ticket. It's cool that you all had faith in me when I wasn't sure myself. We'll do some extra practices after glee this week to get me caught up."

While they had been talking Finn's phone had been shaking itself nearly off the table.

Message From: Sam

Awesome!

Message From: Coach

Good. You better have your game face on.

Message From: Mercedes

! I know you can do this. Call me when yr done talking to Kurt.

He looks up at his stepbrother and laughs, "How did she know?"

"We were on chat when you texted, we decided that I should confirm and then you can call her to say goodnight," Kurt explained.

Finn shook his head, "Not like your goodnight calls to Blaine. I overheard a little bit of that a few nights ago. You better hope Burt doesn't hear you."

"Noted. Well, as long as you are treating my girl right I'll leave the rest up to her. She really does care about you," Kurt said.

"What? No threats on my life if I break her heart?" Finn was surprised.

"Finn, you've fallen at least as hard as she has. Don't think it's not obvious," Kurt said with a smile.

Finn couldn't help but smile too, "Yes. Yes I have. In fact I think New York is the perfect place to make it official, but don't say anything. It's hard enough to be romantic when she'd not expecting anything."

"You'll do fine, but I'll let you get to your call," Kurt said. He squeezed Finn's shoulder before turning around and heading back to his own room, already dialing Blaine's number.

Finn smiled and picked up his phone.


	8. Lies

Finn looked up at the billboards of Times Square and squeezed Mercedes' hand a little tighter. The noise and the amount of actual people in one place was a little overwhelming, but he could tell that everyone in their group was feeling the same way. Well, maybe not Kurt and Rachel who were actually holding both hands and jumping up and down while trying to point to the signs for different Broadway shows at the same time. It was a lot for him to take in, but at the same time he totally got how people might love being able to lose themselves in the crowd.

The past week had been so busy he'd hardly had time to think about actually being in New York. The entire club had been excited for him to go to Nationals but they knew better than to let him slack off. He had spent hours with Mike learning the choreography and almost as much time with Jesse working on his vocals. There was no way he was going to cost them their chance if he could help it. Outside of rehearsal his time with Mercedes had been limited to quick text messages.

They had some free time tomorrow afternoon after their performance and they had agreed to split the day as a group between shopping, the Museum of Natural History, and Central Park. It wasn't like Coach and his dad were going to let any of them out of their site for very long. Finn was pretty excited about the dinosaur stuff, but he was really hoping he could get a few minutes alone with Mercedes in the park.

By the time they had made it through Times Square and stopped at a few souvenir shops it was time to head back to the hotel and check in. They had arrived fairly early so the hotel was holding their luggage until their rooms were ready. Finn couldn't help but think about the pre-trip meeting they'd had during the last glee rehearsal.

"Okay, here's the deal," Coach Bieste said, her eyes on her clipboard, "the school has agreed to pay for four rooms. I will be paying for my own room and Mr. Hummel has agreed to as well. The handicapped accessible room only has two single beds, but I'm looking into a roll away for the other room."

Kurt raised his hand, "That won't be necessary, coach. I would prefer to share with my dad."

Crap. Finn realized that the room sharing issue was something they hadn't really dealt with since the disaster of Gaga week, but Finn thought that the guys and Kurt were past this. Hell, if that was a problem he could probably share with Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina. Their parents already let Kurt sleep over anyhow.

"Dude, you don't have to. You can crash with us. It's cool, right guys?" Finn asked, hoping that he was right about how the other guys felt. He was relieved when the other guys either nodded or shrugged.

"He only has eyes for preppy boy anyhow," Puck added.

Kurt smiled and Finn noticed the big swallow he took to get his voice under control before he spoke. He could tell Kurt didn't want to show how much that meant to him, "Thank you, really. But do you know me at all? There is no way I'm sharing the bathroom with more people than I actually have to."

Everyone laughed and the girls divided up easily, with Quinn, Brittany, and Santana in one room and Mercedes, Lauren, Tina, and Rachel in the other. Sam nudged his arm to get his attention, "Are you okay with sharing a bed? Nobody really wants to share with Jesse. We'd rather put him in the single with Artie."

Sam wanted to know if he was okay with sharing. Sometimes these easy little things nearly knocked him on his ass. When he'd told his friends the truth that day in his living room he'd figured most of the guys wouldn't want to be around him after that. He'd still felt so week and so scared. It hadn't happened that way, of course. Sam had stood up to Quinn, and stood by him when he came back to school. He and Puck were cool again, and it seemed like nothing ever bothered Mike. The idea really didn't bother him at all.

"Yeah, I'm okay with it if you are," he said. Sam rolled his eyes, "It's fine, bro. It's not like we're going to get that much sleep anyhow."

Once they had checked in, and the guys had apologized again to Artie for sticking him with Jesse, they all met downstairs in the lobby. The organizers of Nationals had arranged for an orientation meeting for all the teams in the auditorium where they would do their performances and then they would see a presentation from a Broadway music director. Finn couldn't help but be reluctantly grateful to Jesse that there would be no last minute scrambling for set lists at this competition.

The orientation meeting was pretty boring. It was mostly a reminder of the rules about time limits, set-ups, and professional behavior. Since Jesse and Rachel had drilled all these rules into New Directions over the last month nothing came as a surprise. Finn had never been really good at sitting for a long time and listening to people talk.

The only thing that was kept him awake was drawing shapes with his thumb on the back of Mercedes hand. Finally the head judge finished his presentation and it was time to introduce the competing groups. As each group was announced with their home town there was a round of polite applause. There were, however, two exceptions. When Vocal Adrenaline was announced the applause were almost non-existent except from the corner of the room where they were seated. Sunshine Corazon had given him a nervous wave earlier, but he could tell she didn't really want to be within 50 feet of Rachel. He couldn't blame her.

When the emcee finally announced "New Directions, McKinley High School, Lima, Ohio" there was some clapping but it didn't disguise the rush of whispers and the obvious rubber-necking to find out where they were sitting. He could see Burt's jaw tighten across the table. Mercedes just squeezed his hand and leaned close to his ear,"Remember they don't know anything. There is no way they even know it had anything to do with glee. Even if they did they wouldn't think you'd be strong enough to be here." Finn nodded and squeezed her hand back, it's not like they hadn't expected the reaction. Luckily it wasn't long before the next school was announced.

After what was actually hours, Finn had checked on his phone, they were finally allowed to go back to the hotel. As they waited a few minutes for everyone to gather in the lobby Finn saw a few guys he recognized from Vocal Adrenaline staring at them, whispering, and laughing. He could hear snippets of things that sounded like "Schuester", "Berry", and even "Warblers" so he knew they were talking about them. It was starting to get to him when Kurt came up beside him and gently turned his shoulders so he was facing away from the Carmel guys.

"Ignore them. They are just worried about having actual competition," his stepbrother said while giving Puck a look that made him step back as well. In the end it was Jesse who put a stop to it. He sauntered over to one of the guys, bent down and whispered something quietly in the guy's ear. Finn watched as the guy turned white and jerked his head at the other two before leaving as quickly as possible without actually running. Jesse just smirked and shook his head before rejoining their group and putting an arm around Rachel's waist, "They aren't as tough as they need to be, they'll be easy to keep under control." Finn almost asked what Jesse had told them, but thought better of it and put an arm around Mercedes instead.

They were lucky to draw the 9:30 performance slot because it gave them the whole day to enjoy New York without worrying about a show later. It was the best performance they'd ever done and they'd done it by themselves. Sure, they'd had a little help from Jesse but it was their voices and their talent out on the stage and they'd nailed it. Now they just had to wait.

They arrived at Central Park in the early afternoon and they'd headed directly for Strawberry Fields. The Imagine thing was really cool, Finn thought, especially since everyone in the group had been able to agree on it. Even their chaperones wanted to see it. They were allowed to look around the park for an hour or so before meeting to go to the museum. Coach said as long as nobody was alone and everyone kept their cell phones on they could have a little time apart. This was exactly what Finn had been waiting for, and he grabbed Mercedes' hand as they headed further into the park. After a little while they came to Bethesda Fountain, it was really cool and he knew he'd seen it in a bunch of movies and stuff.

"Wow, this is gorgeous. I can't believe they have something like this in the middle of the city. It's like all those crowds and taxis are miles away, " Mercedes said as she dragged him over to get a better look at the fountain.

"It's kind of peaceful, isn't it? Can we go over to the bench over there? We need to talk for a minute before we have to get back to everyone else," he said. She looked so pretty, out in the sunlight. He could tell she felt really good in the outfit Kurt had picked out for her. He was starting to pick up on little things like that, but he wasn't sure why she wasn't smiling anymore.

"Okay," she said, "I guess so." They were walking over to the bench when Finn spotted a man selling balloons.

"Sit here for a minute. I"ll be right back, " he said with a smile before loping off in the direction of the balloon man. He bought two orange and three pink ones because he knew they were some of Mercedes favorite colors. When he looked back at Mercedes he was surprised to see that she wasn't watching him or even taking in the view from the bench. Instead she was hunched over fiddling with her bracelet. Maybe she was worried about the competition. Oh well, hopefully he could cheer her up with the balloons.

When he got back to the bench, after narrowly avoiding letting go of the balloons when he tripped over a rock, he held them out to Mercedes. "Um, these are for you. I thought we should get the full Central Park experience."

She looked up at him then and gave him a small smile before taking the balloons and winding the strings around her wrist. "You said we needed to talk?" she said and she sounded sad.

"Are you okay?" He shifted a little on the bench so his knee bumped hers and his side bumped her shoulder.

"Just say whatever you have to say Finn, " she said, not really looking at him.

"Um, okay. I just wanted to tell you how much fun I've had over the last couple weeks with you. I was in a pretty bad place and all of a sudden you were there like this angel that I was too blind to see before. You don't treat me like I'm going to break, and you don't treat me like I'm stupid. You're smart and beautiful and you're so sure of who you are. I know we're supposed to be taking things slow but I thought this was a pretty cool place to ask you to be my girlfriend," he said and then looked back up and her, "so will you?"

She was just looking at him, and he was starting to think that he had made a big mistake. He was rushing things, or maybe she'd been rethinking whether she wanted to be stuck with him at all.

"Oh Finn," she said, shaking her head. "Baby, of course I would love to be your girlfriend. But sweetheart, you should never tell a girl you "need to talk" unless you are going to dump her."

"What? No Way. Is that why you looked so sad?" He asked, the pieces starting to come together in his head.

"Oh geez. I can't believe I messed this up! I brought you here to tell you I think I'm falling in love with you and you thought I was going to dump you? Sometimes I am kind of dumb. Mercedes, I'm so sorry. " He kind of wanted to go bang his head against a tree or something. He had planned out where to go and what he was going to say and he had upset her anyhow.

"Finn, hold up. Did you just say you're falling in love with me? " Her eyes were wide, but at least she didn't look sad anymore.

"Yeah, I did. And I am, but I messed this all up and.." He stopped when her hand came up and covered her mouth.

"Finn, sweetie, relax. I'm not mad at you, it's okay. I was only upset because I feel the same way and I wasn't ready to lose you," she said and moved her hand over to his cheek.

"Cool," he said, before deciding that talking was probably only going to lead to him saying something else he shouldn't so he kissed her instead. She obviously thought he made the right decision because she slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. They stayed like that for a few minutes just enjoying the simple kisses in the spring sunshine until they heard a throat being cleared and some giggling and clapping. Finn pulled back and tilted his head to look over Mercedes' shoulder only to find Coach Bieste, Kurt, Sam, Tina, and Mike smiling at them.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we had to find you," Kurt said, "Jesse just texted me, we made the top ten!"

The rest of the day went by in a blur. They decided that since they didn't have much time before their evening showcase performance they would take cabs back to their hotel to get their costumes. The groups selected for the showcase performed the same set list as the earlier competition but for a different set of judges. Rachel had explained that this demonstrated how well prepared the groups were, but also protected the groups from favoritism by the judges. Finn couldn't help but wonder if this would work for or against them. The first set of judges obviously didn't hold their scandal against them, but he wasn't sure they would get that lucky the second time.

They arrived at the concert hall well before their performance time but luckily they were able to get into the private room where they were supposed to wait. Finn was just glad that they didn't have to watch the other groups perform, they were nervous enough already. In fact, he was starting to think the freaking out was going to be a big problem.

Rachel had squeezed herself into the far corner and was singing the set list and doing the choreography about six times faster than they would normally perform. Artie was rolling back and forth in one spot while both Kurt and Santana had planted themselves in front of the mirror. Kurt looked like he was about to hurl, and Santana was muttering in Spanish under her breath. He didn't have to be taking that class anymore to know she wasn't exactly giving herself a pep talk.

Honestly, he'd been more nervous at the park with Mercedes and that had gone pretty well even if he had almost screwed it up. He squeezed her hand and took a deep breath before quietly making his way around the room. Rachel seemed to be doing the worst even though she'd done so much performing. He wasn't quite sure how to handle her anymore so he was relieved to see Jesse slip through the door to the green room. "Dude, help us out here," Finn said and jerked his head in Rachel's direction. He held back a snicker when the older boy's eyes widened as he took in what was happening.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it," Jesse said, taking a quick look around. "You're going to take care of the rest?"

"Teamwork, dude. Teamwork," Finn said and headed for Brittany next. It didn't take much to convince her to talk to Santana.

Next he slipped behind Artie and flipped one of the breaks down on his chair. "Chill, man. This is nothing compared to facing those goons on the football field. We've got this," Finn said, waiting for the other boy to nod before moving on to his brother.

"Are you okay? You don't look so good. Um, wait. That's not what I mean, you look sick. Your hair looks fine?" He hoped he wasn't freaking Kurt out more, he wasn't exactly doing great on saying the right things today. He was relieved when Kurt laughed a bit and shook his head, "I'm fine Finn. I'm a little nervous and Rachel is freaking me out, but I'll be fine."

"Good. You're going to rock this. Now check your texts and I want to see that real smile you get when Blaine says something cheesy," Finn said and he squeezed Kurt's shoulder as his brother shook his head and fished his phone out of his pocket. A little impressed with how easy that was he went back to his seat next to Mercedes and started to run through the choreography in his head one last time.

Before long there was a knock at the door and when Puck opened it a guy with a headset stuck his head in, "New Directions, you're on in five minutes." They nodded and Puck let go of the door but it must not have closed all the way because they could still hear the guy outside.

"Hey, Mark! You'll never believe the group I just talked to...

Yeah, it's the one from Ohio with the creeper coach...

I know right? I can't believe they'd show their faces here either...

Wonder which one it was. Some of those girls are pretty hot but who knows with that kind of freak, maybe he likes boys...

Everyone in the room froze for a minute and they could hear the guy laughing into his phone. Puck was the first one out of his seat and Finn was pretty sure if they let him he'd put the guy in the hospital. Before Puck could get to the door Lauren and Mike grabbed his shoulders and held him back, "Not worth it babe," Lauren told him. Mike looked like he'd rather just let Puck go after the guy.

That's when Jesse got up, "This is ridiculous. This is the National Show Choir Championship for god's sake! That kind of unprofessional behavior cannot be tolerated. It makes a mockery of the entire event! You don't win this thing four times in a row without knowing who has the power to hire and fire around here. I'll take care of this. You all need to focus!" With that Jesse hurried out the door, his scarf trailing behind him.

Mercedes squeezed his hand and when he looked up she asked, "Are you okay?"

The weird thing was that did feel okay. Maybe his hands are shaking a tiny bit, but that's nothing. It's already gotten better since Mercedes took his hand. That guy was a total douche, but it's not like Finn's ever going to see him again. It just sucks that something like that had to happen when everyone was ready to go out there.

"I'll be fine, but I think it's time I did my job as captain. I'm still captain, right?"

"Damn right you are, let's do this!" Mercedes said, bringing her fingers up and letting out a piercing whistle that snapped everyone's attention back to them. "Listen up, y'all. Our team captain's got something to say."

"All right. It's almost time to go out there and we need to do this right. We are going to go out there and give it everything we've got. It doesn't matter whether we win or lose tonight. Just by being here we've already won. Everyone out there thinks they know all this stuff about New Directions because of what they see on the news. Let me tell you what I know about New Directions. We are the strongest and most talented team here. We're not just a team, we're a family and we've proven over and over that nothing is going to fucking stop us. That day in April I didn't even know how I would even leave my house and now I'm singing with you guys in New York City. Puck and Quinn loved that little girl enough to give her a real chance. Artie put on that machine at Christmas and walked across the damn room."

He takes a minute to catch his breath and he knows nobody is going to interrupt him now, his eyes settle on Kurt who is now standing behind Mercedes, both of them beaming at him through their tears.

"Hate and death threats couldn't stop this team, Sue Sylvester couldn't stop this team, Vocal Adrenaline's funk couldn't stop this team, and a scandal over a coach we're better without is not going to stop this team! We're going to go out there and we're going to show them that each member of this team is a star! Let's go kick some ass!"

He wonders if he took it too far, but he's been watching underdog sports movies his whole life and he's always wanted to give the big locker room speech. When Finn finished talking there was at least 20 seconds dead silence before the room exploded in a combination of whoops, applause, and enthusiastic profanity from Puck and Lauren. Finn pulls Mercedes and Kurt into a hug before kissing her on the forehead and dragging them to the door. They've got a show to do.

They placed fourth. That was pretty sweet. It was even better when Vocal Adrenaline finished seventh. When the announcer called their name everyone shoved him forward to go and accept the trophy. He made sure to drag a rather reluctant Coach Bieste up with him. He wasn't sure he'd ever really be able to thank her, but he'd keep trying. When the announcements were finished he happily handed the trophy over to Rachel and dipped Mercedes for a kiss right there on stage. She came up laughing and he kept one hand around her waist while he hugged everyone else.

He wasn't surprised to see that Kurt already had his phone out, and he knew that soon as they were off stage he was going to send his mom a picture of him and Kurt holding the trophy. He was a little surprised when Lauren threw her arms around him and thumped him on the back, "Balls of steel, man. I respect that." He hugged her back and made her promise to come back to glee in the fall. If he had anything to say about it they were all going to have one hell of a senior year.

They flew home the next day, and Finn settled into his seat and turned off his phone. Mercedes was resting in the seat next to him, the armrest between them up and her head on his shoulder. He was thankful for a little bit of quiet after the rowdiest celebrating his dad and Coach would let them get away with the night before. He was so glad he'd made the decision to come to Nationals, and not just because they did so well. He was part of this and he belonged with his friends. A lot of things had changed for him, but that hadn't. It would be a long time before he would shake that little bit of fear and doubt that still edged its way into his thoughts now and then. He knew he could control it though, that it wouldn't take over. He had a dad and a brother now, and that was pretty awesome. His friends had stood by him, and he and Puck were on their way back to solid ground. He'd gotten to know Mercedes and he couldn't wait to spend the summer with her.

Mostly though, he knew himself. Maybe that was the most important thing he got out of all this. He was just Finn and he didn't have to force himself to be what anyone else wanted. There were enough people who loved him for just being himself and it didn't matter what anybody else thought. Finn watched from his window seat as New York City disappeared below him and smiled.


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some flashes of what comes next for Finn in this verse.

Shannon wasn't sure why she was doing this. She wasn't sure she'd do it even when she sent in the paperwork. He was probably safer out at Marion instead of being in town at Oakwood , but the drive was a pain in her ass. She hands over her i.d. and confirmation number and after a search she's taken to a mostly empty room with several heavy duty tables and chairs. After a few minutes the door at the other side of the room opens and Will is brought in. He looks surprised to see her, but he sits down across from her and stares at his hands.

"Thank you," he says quietly. She watches him for another minute, taking in the fading bruises on his arms, the uniform that reminds her more of hospital scrubs than anything else, and asks "For what?"

"For coming to see me. For taking the kids to New York. For not letting me take the easy way out and make things worse for him," he says.

She nods, "I didn't do it for you."

"You're here. That's more than anyone else. Well, Sue sent me the headline from the Lima News but she blacked out the details. I know they took fourth place, but that's all."

"That seems fair," she says and waits to see if he'll argue with her, she doesn't think he will.

"It's not like I have a lot of news of my own to share with you. I'm sober now. Not having a choice will do that for you. It was kind of rough for a while, when I was waiting for them to transfer me here. The withdrawals, and not being able to blur out what I did," he says, his eyes fixed at some point on the table.

"Reality sucks, in this case because you made it this way. Now we all have to deal with it." She's stopped looking for explanations, it's not like it would ever make any sense anyhow. She's seen the reality from Hudson's end, she's here because for some reason she needed to see this too.

"Look Shannon, I know I don't deserve to, but I need to know if his name got out." His voice is quiet, and when he looks up she can see the pleading look in his eyes.

She considers this for a moment. She can see why he needs to know, that he is coming to terms with how much suffering he'd caused. "No. Not yet anyway. There were rumors of course, but the newspapers and television stations were especially careful about the details. Thank goodness, he's had enough to deal with."

"Good. It was on the news everywhere, and people keep trying to arrange interviews with me. I'll never do it though. It's the best I can do, and it's not much."

She nods again, still not quite sure what to say to him. "They said you could have magazines, with the staples out. I brought some music ones. You'll get them after they check them over."

"Thanks, they've got me doing some clerical work sometimes. I guess I read and write better than most of the other pervs." She can hear the self-loathing in his voice, and it's satisfying in a way. "There's still a lot of time to fill."

"I don't think I can come back, Will. I think it's better if everyone involved puts you and all of this as far behind us as possible," she says, getting up from the table.

She watches as he runs a hand through his now short-cropped hair, "Yeah, I get it. This is already more than I deserve."

She'd thought a lot about what to expect when she saw him. She had predicted that seeing him and revisiting the pain he caused would bring feelings of anger and disgust. Now, however, as she looks at this broken version of her best friend mostly what she feels is pity. He has no one else to blame for becoming the worst possible version of himself, but he's clearly horrified by it and will rightly pay for it the rest of his life, in prison or out.

She stops on her way to the door and faces him again. She probably shouldn't say anything, and it sounds harsh but she hopes he understands what she's telling him, "Take care of yourself Will. You're the one who is left alone to face a ruined life. You're the one who might not be strong enough to face this."

She sees him flinch at first, and then his relief as he realizes what she's not saying. His whole body sags with the understanding and as she leaves the room for good he puts his head in his hands and sobs.

On the drive back to Lima she thinks about the preparations she needs to do for football camp, and how she's going to convince Figgins to let her hire a new glee club director.

July

Finn walked through the park with one hand around Mercedes' shoulders and the other pulling the cooler behind them. His parents and the rest of New Directions followed with blankets, guitars, and Frisbees as they looked for a good spot to watch the fireworks later that evening. They settled on spot not far from where Finn and Mercedes had flown the kite that day a few months earlier and he thought it was a nice coincidence.

They began to spread out their blankets in a group, letting Kurt and Blaine and Brittany and Santana take the middle of the pack so they would be more comfortable in the crowd. Honestly, when Santana had come out he'd felt relieved, maybe their lack of a good time hadn't been all his fault. He was kind of hoping to test that theory out with Mercedes someday, but neither one of them was ready for that anytime soon. Still, just because they were taking things slow didn't mean they'd stopped moving forward all together. The feeling of her hands on his skin was one of his new favorite things, and he was starting to feel much more comfortable with his body's reactions.

The group of soon-to-be-seniors passed the day playing football and having an impromptu jam session before their picnic dinner. It hardly felt like the whole day had gone by when it was time for the fireworks to start. Finn sat up on their blanket and Mercedes sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest with his arms looped around her shoulders. They watched the night light up in comfortable silence, impressed that Lima had actually managed to put on a pretty good show. When the grand finale began and the entire sky above them was filled with color Finn leaned forward and laced his fingers into hers, "Mercedes, I love you." He watched, his nervousness fading when her face lit up and she moved so her cheek was pressed against his, "I love you too."

September

Finn had figured that the start of a new school year would bring a lot of changes and he wasn't wrong. With input from Coach Bieste and recommendations from Shelby Corcoran the school had hired a woman named Ally Riordan to coach New Directions. She had previously coached the Portland Scale Blazers, one of the teams that had also qualified for the showcase round at Nationals. She was stricter than what they were used to, but now that they had seen what the kind of hardcore preparation they had done for Nationals would get them they were more than happy to do the work. They still found time for their spur of the moment song and dance numbers.

Ms. Riordan was a firm believer in auditions for solo spots and everybody but Rachel was totally on board with that. Finn had found himself with a lot less time in the spotlight, especially since Blaine had transferred to McKinley, but he wasn't complaining. He'd had an extra session with Doctor McKenna when he'd gotten a little freaked out about why he'd gotten so many solos before, but they'd talked through it and he went back to only seeing her every month or so.

Finn also started taking Spanish again, Senora Phillips was a pretty good teacher and she had no problem helping Finn catch up on the little bit he'd missed at the end of last year. The classroom had been swapped with the freshman English teacher's so Finn didn't have to go in Schue's old room.

It was midway through the month, a couple months before Finn's 18th birthday when he came home for Friday night dinner to find the good dishes and a real table cloth on the table. He tried for a minute to remember if it was a special occasion, it wasn't his birthday or Kurt's, and he knew his parents' anniversary was closer to Sectionals than this. He found his mom in the kitchen stirring something on the stove.

"What's going on mom?" He tried to stick his finger in the white sauce she was cooking so he could taste it, but got whacked with the spoon instead.

"Hands to yourself, Finn. We'll be eating soon enough. Burt and I wanted to have a special family dinner. There's something we want to talk to you boys about," she said.

Finn was a little worried about what could be such a big deal they had to talk about it like this, and he'd never been too good at hiding his feelings. His mom could tell he was upset.

"Don't worry, sweetie. It's a good thing, or Burt and I think so anyway."

Oh, well, it was a family thing that she and Burt were happy about then it was probably something cool like a new car, or a vacation, or …. oh, god. Finn very nervously looked at his mom, trying to tell if she looked any different. He didn't think so, but he wasn't always too quick to notice stuff, still he didn't think she'd been sick like Quinn had. Finn knew his mom though, and if she said they would tell them at dinner than there was no point asking before that. He'd just have to wait it out.

Finn headed out to the couch and flipped on ESPN, he wondered if he should text Kurt and give him a heads up, but decided they could wait until after their parents told them what was going on.

Before long Burt and Kurt got home and they finally went in the dining room to eat. Finn was kind of happy that Kurt looked just as surprised at the fancy table and everything as he had. They didn't talk about anything other than their days while they ate, but once his mom had cleared the dessert plates she sat down again and reached over to hold Burt's hand.

"Boys, I know you've been wondering what we wanted to talk to you about tonight. It's something Burt and I have talked about since we started getting serious, but it never seemed like the right time to talk to you about it. I know it might seem a little unusual since you both are nearly adults, but we it just feels right."

Finn is pretty sure he has it figured out at this point. He's not quite sure how he feels about it, but he figures whatever makes his mom happy is pretty cool by him. He tunes back in quickly when Burt picks up where his mom left off.

"I think we are all agreed by now that this family is together for good. Sometimes things can get complicated though, and we don't want to worry about how things would go if something happened to me or Carole. So, what we are trying to say is that if it's okay with you two Carole would like to legally adopt Kurt and I would like to legally adopt Finn."

Finn just sat there, he wasn't sure what all this actually meant. His mom was talking again though, "You don't have to decide tonight, and you don't both have to make the same decision. We just wanted to put it out there and see if it was something you boys would want, " she said.

"Wait, so Burt didn't knock you up?" Finn was pretty sure this was one of those times when his mouth worked faster than his brain.

As soon as the words left his mouth there was a second of silence before Burt sprayed a mouthful of coffee across his plate in shock and Kurt dropped his fork right in the middle of his pasta and stared at his father with a horrified expression.

His mom on the other hand was shaking her head, and he could tell she was trying not to laugh, "No honey, is that what you thought we were going to tell you boys tonight?"

Finn shrugged, ever since the whole Quinn thing his brain tended to go there first. Hell, as a straight teenage boy it's always lurking in the back of his mind, even if he's not actually having sex at the moment.

"It's not like you're that old mom, you just turned forty," he said, feeling like he needed to prove it wasn't such a stupid idea.

"Oh, good grief. Finn, I'm going to have nightmares about spit up and diapers now, " Kurt said before turning to his father, "do we need to have a talk? I can get some pamphlets."

"Yeah," Finn adds, "Maybe they have something about how to forget that your parents have sex. Now I need that one pretty bad."

Burt looks more amused than anything, "I think we're getting off topic, but for the record your mother and I decided that we are perfectly willing to wait for grandchildren before we're back on diaper duty. Notice we said wait."

Finn puts his hands up, it's not like he's in a rush. Kurt just snorts and Finn watches his mom turn on him with her sweetest smile, "Don't think we're letting you off the hook. That ex-girlfriend of Finn's has two dads and I expect grand-babies from both my sons."

Kurt might pretend he doesn't like children, but Blaine was more that happy to tell Finn how Kurt spent an entire afternoon playing tea-party and dress up with his four-year-old niece. He figures Kurt would probably be a pretty good dad since he got to learn from Burt and all.

Finn figured it was probably a good time to get back to the original thing they were talking about so he asked the first question, "If Burt adopts me do I have to change my name?"

"No kiddo, not unless you want to. You should be proud of having your dad's name. I would be honored though if you'd like to add Hummel as a middle name, " Burt explained.

He thought about that for a minute, Finn Christopher Hummel Hudson. Actually that was pretty cool. "Yeah, I'd like that. I mean, what you said before is true. This is already a done deal, you being my dad and all. This is just the legal crap."  
His mom smiled at him from across the table, "Kurt, do you have any questions? You can take some time to think about it if you want."

"Finn is right, we've been a family for a while. This is just paperwork. You'll excuse me if don't add a name, I will likely end up hyphenating one day and Kurt Elizabeth .."

"Ethan, " Burt says under his breath.

"Hummel- Ander... er, whatever, is already a mouthful. There is something I've been thinking about and now seems like a good time to bring it up. You know I just don't feel right calling Carole "mom"," Kurt said.

His mom nodded, "Yes, sweetie. I understand, I really do."

Kurt smiled at her, "I was wondering though, if you were okay with me calling you mere?"

Finn was pretty sure his mom was going to be really happy about this no matter what language Kurt wanted to use. He was right, she'd already picked up her napkin and was dabbing at her eyes. Everyone at the table was looking about as emotional as Finn felt.

"Oh, Kurt. I'm so much more than okay with it," she said and got up and went over to Kurt's chair to give him a hug. Finn nodded to his dad and they both got up and joined in the hug, feeling more like a family than ever.

Later, after they'd finished dessert and made an appointment with a lawyer to take care of the paperwork Finn took out his phone and texted Mercedes.

Finn:  
Hey beautiful. Sorry we couldn't do something tonight. Family dinner.

Mercedes:  
No problem. I have that English essay anyhow. What's up?

Finn:  
Our parents want to adopt us legally.

Finn:  
That sounded weird. Burt wants to adopt me and mom wants to adopt Kurt.

Mercedes:  
Oh, are you happy?

Finn:  
It's just paperwork, he's already my dad in every way that matters. So yeah, :-D.

Mercedes:  
Is Kurt okay? I know it's different for him.

Finn:  
He's good, he's decided he wants to call her mere. I think he's her favorite now.

Mercedes:  
Oh, sweetie. I hate to break it to you. He's been her favorite for a long time. ;-)

Finn:  
Luckily I have my wonderful girlfriend to help me get through it. Are we still on for apple picking with Mike and Tina and Kurt and Blaine tomorrow?

Mercedes:  
You better believe it. I can't wait to see your brother's idea of farm clothes.

Finn:  
I miss you. I'm hoping we all have the same idea about splitting up for a little couples' time.

Mercedes:  
I'd like that. A lot.

Finn:  
I didn't mean that we had to do anything. I don't know. Damn.

Mercedes:  
None of that. When we are both ready to do more we will. Hopefully Mike and Tina won't get caught doing anything that gets us thrown out from yet another date place.

Finn:  
No kidding. The planetarium incident was kind of embarrassing. We'll have to keep an eye on them until after the cider and donuts at least. Kurt promised me cider and donuts.

Mercedes:  
I'll help. I'm a pretty big fan of donuts myself.

Finn:  
Just one of the many reasons I love you.

Mercedes:  
I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow.

Finn:  
Sweet dreams.

Fall of Finn's senior year passed in a blur. Sectionals came and went with an easy win over the reform school girls and the old folks. His relationship with Mercedes was going great and he was sure he was more in love with her than ever. Things between them had also started to get more physical over the last month or so but other than a shy touch or two they had stayed above the waist. They had talked about it, and they both thought they were ready to take things a little further. It was just that privacy was hard to come by and neither of them was really willing to take such a bit step parked in an empty parking lot or something. It wasn't until things had slowed down for the Thanksgiving holiday that things changed.

Thanksgiving at the Hudson-Hummel house had been interesting to say the least. His mom had insisted on a full traditional Thanksgiving since they'd been too busy with the wedding last year to bother. Both Blaine and Mercedes would be joining the family for dinner as well as Kurt's Uncle Andy. Finn had met Andy Hummel briefly at the wedding and he was a lot like his brother. Andy had played college football for Kent State and now sold insurance. About a week before Kurt had asked their parents if he could also invite Coach Bieste since all of her family lived out of state.

Finn was surprised that Kurt had thought of it, but the family was more than happy to have her over. It wasn't until the night before that Finn caught on to his brother's plan when Kurt insisted his uncle wear one of Burt's ties for dinner because it "brings out his eyes."

"Excuse us a minute, I need to have a word with Kurt," he said, as he wrapped one large hand around Kurt's arm and dragged him down to Finn's room.

"What are you doing?" Finn already knew the answer, but he was curious to see if Kurt would come clean.

Kurt's face lit up in way that it only did when he was excited about some kind of plan, and Finn was starting to think maybe he'd be better off not knowing. "Well, Coach Bieste has done a lot for us. I wanted to do something nice for her. So I'm fixing her up! I'm a pretty good matchmaker. "

"If you want to do something nice get her a gift card to The Olive Garden. You can't just throw people together without their permission and expect them to live happily ever after! "

Kurt huffed out a breath, "Seriously Finn, it's just dinner. I got our parents together didn't I? And you and Mercedes?"

"Um, Mercedes and I got together because she's awesome and I grew up enough to deserve her. You don't actually want to talk about your motives for the other thing do you? " Finn was so past that whole thing, but he was still nervous about Kurt messing with Coach's private life.

"Look, they are both good people who deserve to be a little less lonely. Maybe they won't hit it off, but it won't hurt anything for them to spend an afternoon in the same room," Kurt said.

Finn hated when Kurt was right about this stuff, but he had to admit it was nice to see Coach smile. She and Andy had easily fallen into conversation and things had gone so well he was taking her to a Bengals game the next Sunday. Finn knew that Andy had even called his mother for advice on how soon was too soon to call Coach again. It hadn't stopped her from delivering a light tap to the back of both boy's heads before she left, with a gruff "Don't try that again" that didn't quite hide her smile.

Two days later Finn found himself alone with Mercedes in the house for the first time in a while. He had convinced Burt to take his mother to see the Christmas lights at the Toledo Zoo, and Kurt and Blaine were at a party at their friend David's house. Finn figured that nobody would be back for a few hours. Without Kurt to help he'd gone to Boston Market and gotten chicken and stuff to go with it so they could have dinner together and talk without him burning down the house by trying to cook anything. They didn't talk about anything too serious over dinner, mostly about the holiday performances that New Directions would be doing at the children's hospital and the look on Burt's face when he saw Kurt's Christmas list.

When they were done eating Finn pulled Mercedes into a hug and then settled her on his knees so he could keep his arms around her.

"So, nobody is going to be home for a couple hours. We can watch a movie if you want, or we can go up to my room, " Finn said, leaning his cheek against her back. He hoped he sounded like he was okay with either option, because he was. Just because they'd talked about things happening soon didn't mean it had to be tonight. He did kind of hope it might be tonight, though.

"Hmm, let me think. Okay, I'm done. Let's go upstairs," she said standing up and pulling him up behind her. She giggled a little and he let out a little laugh as well at her enthusiasm. Just that was enough to reassure him that they weren't making a mistake. When they got up to his room he was glad that he'd spent all morning cleaning it. He'd even gotten Kurt to show him what settings on the washer and dryer to use for his sheets. He hit a button on the ipod dock and some soft music filled the room. It wasn't as blatant as Puck would use but Artie had been happy to lend him some jazz without asking too many questions.

Finn sat down on the bed next to her. He knew they weren't going to do everything tonight, but this was still a big step for her. It was kind of a big thing for him too. Up until now loving someone and having sex had not come together for him. Now this amazing girl was going to change all that, he just didn't want to mess it up. He focused again when he felt her hand on his cheek and saw the patient smile on her face. "Relax, sweetie. We've got this part down. Let's just do our thing for a while and see what happens. Okay?" She waited for him to nod and then leaned in and kissed him. She was right, of course, they had gotten really good at making out. This was just a more comfortable place to do it. He kissed her back, one hand moving to her hair, the other on her arm for now.

He stopped thinking about it fairly quickly and just let his instincts take over, sliding his tongue into her mouth. That went on for a while before she pulled back and started to kiss across his jaw and down his neck. He smiled at her, until she hit that spot at the base of his throat and then he could barely catch his breath. He let his hand move from her arm to slide gently across her breast, and he could hear her sigh.

She reached down to pull his t-shirt off before continuing to kiss across his chest. It felt awesome, but he really wanted to feel her skin against his. He pulled back and started to undo the buttons on her shirt. Her hand came up and for a minute he thought she was going to stop him, even thought they'd been this far a few times before. Instead she moved his fumbling fingers away and made short work of her shirt, tossing it aside to reveal a lacy pink bra that looked beautiful against her skin. He whispered, "I could have done that you know," against her ear before kiss his way down her neck.

She laughed again, low this time, and it had to be one of the sexiest things he'd ever heard. "A little help is all, you can get the bra though."

He smiled down at her again and reached behind her to do just that before guiding her onto her back. He'd seen a poster in the mall one time that said "Real Women have Curves." He certainly appreciated that idea right now. He'd always kind of caught himself noticing her like that, and now it was something he could act on. He kissed her slowly while he ran his hands across her chest, listening to her gasp when he did something she particularly liked. He slid down to use his mouth and he knew she could feel how hard he was against her leg. He had to force himself not to rub against her or this would be over a lot faster than he intended.

She might have realized the same thing, because she carefully pushed him down on his back and put one hand on the button to his jeans before meeting his eyes. He cupped her cheek and nodded and she undid the button and carefully slid down his zipper. She did it with such care he wondered if she had asked someone for advice. That was about the last coherent thought he had as she shyly pulled his jeans off and slid a hand across the front of his boxers. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched her for a minute as she did it again before dragging her fingertips down his thigh.

He let himself fall back onto the pillow, letting out her name in a little bit of a whine. He heard that low laugh again that was going to drive him crazy and then she was pulling his boxers down and off. He let her look for a minute before tugging her next to him again and kissing her sweetly, "You're driving me crazy," he said, "will you touch me?"

She kissed him this time and shifted to lie on her side. He could feel her pressing against him and then her hand was grazing over his cock. She nuzzled his neck and whispered in his ear, "Show me how?"

"Oh, god. Like you need it," he replied, but reached down and guided her hand to firmly stroke him. "It's not going to take long," he groaned and she laughed again. "I'll take that as a compliment," she said before putting her lips back on his neck. Between her lips and her hand it only took another minute or so for him to finish. It took longer before he could convince his brain to focus on anything other than how good that had felt, but when he came back to himself he turned on his side to face her.

"That was amazing, you are amazing. I don't think there is any way I'm going to be able to make you feel like that, but I'd like to try," he said his hand tugging on the waistband of her leggings.

"It's you and me, that's enough. The rest we'll figure out together," she said. It hit him again how much he'd been missing out on with girls who only wanted to change him. "I love you," he said and they spent a few minutes just kissing before he moved back and slid her leggings and panties down her legs. He spent some time just running his hands over her, tracing her thighs with his hands before she grabbed his wrist and showed him how to touch her. He did essentially the same thing for her as she had done, lying on his side and kissing her lips and neck as he touched her the way she had showed him. It took a little longer but soon she was breathing heavier and when he left his thumb where it was but slid one of his fingers down teasing her it was enough to send her over the edge.

He held her close as she came down, placing light kisses on her shoulder and then her lips as she turned to face him. She snuggled closer to him and put her head on his chest. He checked the clock, they had at least a half an hour to be together like this before they had to be ready for someone to be home. He kissed the top of her head and said, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, and even if she hadn't he could see it in the way she looked at him. He was right, feelings made it better.

January

As the new year started Finn was starting to think about his future again. So much of the last few months had been taken up getting back to normal and adjusting to the workload of senior year that he hadn't had much time for anything else. With some help from his family and Mercedes he had decided what he wanted to do after graduation. The real decision he had to make was where he wanted to do it. Miss Pillsbury had come back at the start of the school year, but she looked like she was going to pass out every time she saw Finn so he guessed that was out. He figured she knew more about the stuff for the kids who were going to college anyhow. All he really needed was a fairly objective adult who would actually listen. Luckily he had that covered.

Finn knocked on the door and waited until Coach told him to come in, "Hey, coach. I was wondering if you had time to talk?"

"Sure, kid. Come on in. What's on your mind?" she said, motioning to the chair across from her desk.

"Well, I've been thinking really hard about what I want to do after graduation and I'm going to try to be a firefighter," Finn said.

"That's great, Finn. I don't think you're the type to sit at some desk all day. When do we start your physical training?" She asked, flipping through some papers on her desk until she found her calendar. "You figure what? You'll prep all summer and try to take the exam in the fall?"

Burt had helped him do some research, and he'd learned a little bit about how to become a firefighter. It wasn't easy. There were tests he had to take and interviews and all kinds of stuff. He'd sat down with the list and it seemed like for everything he had to know there was someone who could help him. Kurt was going to tutor him in the academic stuff for the civil service test. Mercedes was going to watch movies with him and help him practice his note-taking and observation skills for the information gathering part. His mom could help with the interview portion and his dad had the tools and mechanical stuff covered. Sam and Puck were already running with him every morning at the indoor track. He should have known Coach would offer before he could even ask.

"Yeah, I'd like to start really working out the week after school gets out. Basketball should keep me in good enough shape over the spring. I don't know how to thank you. For all of this," Finn said. Things could have gone so differently last year if it wasn't for her, and in the worst way possible. There was no way his identity would have stayed a secret if there had been a trial.

"Graduate, go out in the world and make a difference. That's all we can ask of any of you. Well, that and large alumni donations to the football and performing arts boosters," she said with a smile.

"Got it," Finn said before trying to figure out how to bring up the other thing he wanted to talk about. "Remember when you told me what objective meant? I could use someone objective now, and in this case you qualify."

"Okay, what's up?"

"Mercedes got her letter from Ohio State this week, she got in. I knew she would. The thing is, I'm thinking about applying for the Columbus Fire Department instead of something around here. I know we haven't been together that long, and we're not even out of high school yet, but I'd at least like to try to stay together," Finn explains.

Coach nods, "Okay, and what do your parents think about this?"

Finn sighs, "Mom is still a little freaked out about how dangerous being a firefighter is. She wants me to go to community college or something for a while at least. I don't know what she'd say about me wanting to move out on top of all that. She's already getting emotional about Kurt going to New York and he hasn't even heard from his schools yet. Dad is cool with it, he gets that not everyone needs to go to college."

"I take it you want my honest opinion?"

"I wouldn't be expect anything less, coach."

"Go to Columbus if you can. Don't go because of Mercedes, go for you. Go to experience some of the world. If things work out between you two that's great, but you should get out of Lima for yourself," she said. Finn smiled, yeah, that made a lot of sense. If he wasn't dating anyone he wouldn't want to stay in Lima. This just helps him narrow down where to go.

Coach took a deep breath before she spoke again, "There's another reason you should think about leaving. Did you know that my brother is a paramedic back home? I know a little about this world you want to get into. Paramedics, firefighters, and police officers work very closely together, especially in a small town like this..."

She didn't have to finish, Finn knew what she was trying to say. If he stayed the only people outside his family and friends who knew what Schue did to him would be the ones he was around all the time. Things would be messy.

"Yeah, I get it. Maybe that's what I should talk to mom about. Thanks, coach. I should get to rehearsal. Are you and Andy coming for dinner on Friday?" It had been about two months and Finn knew that the two were seeing a lot of each other.

Coach rolled her eyes, "Yes, and I'm hoping Miss Jones is joining us as well. She's the only one who can get your brother to behave."

"Yeah, she's good at that." Finn couldn't resist teasing a little as he headed out the door, "See you Friday, Auntie Shannon."

He heard the snort first and that was enough warning to dodge the nerf ball that came at his head. All he heard from the office as he ducked quickly out the door was "Shut it, Hudson."

February

McKinley had four snow days in February and Finn and Mercedes spent all of them together. The blizzard that closed school had been so bad his parents had stayed home as well. After the main streets had been cleared Finn borrowed Burt's 4-wheel drive truck and went to pick up Mercedes since her parents had been snowed in at her grandparents' house in Dayton. Nobody wanted her to be home by herself during this kind of weather.

The entire family spent the day watching movies and playing some of the old board games Kurt had found in the basement. Finn was not really surprised that his step-brother was kind of a sore loser when it came to games like this. Finn had been victorious in both Jenga and Sorry, and he was hoping he might be able to convince Mercedes to help him celebrate later on.

He really should have known better than to play Taboo against the team of Kurt and Mercedes though. He and his dad tried, but the other two had a ton of common knowledge and inside jokes so they could easily avoid the words on the card with clues like "Johnny Depp was one in that weird movie" or "The second thing we make fun of Quinn for." They never stood a chance, but Finn knew that this day would still be one of his favorite memories.

Their parents were able to go back to work after two days, but some frozen pipes kept McKinley closed longer. Kurt went to the garage to help his dad since people would be looking to get their cars fixed after they did stupid stuff in the snow and messed them up. Burt had been trying to teach Finn some of the basics, but he'd be way to busy for more lessons today.

It was when he was wandering through the kitchen looking for something to eat that he realized he and Mercedes had the house all to themselves. She was still staying in the guest room until her parents got back. She was probably still asleep since she and Kurt had stayed up late last night for a Supernatural marathon. He wasn't the greatest at the romance stuff, but he'd seen enough commercials to know that chicks usually liked breakfast in bed. He still wasn't allowed to use the stove, but he was pretty good with the waffle maker and he knew Kurt had left some organic orange juice in the fridge.

After loading up a tray with breakfast for both of them he went upstairs and quietly knocked on the door to the guest room, "Mercedes, are you up?"

A sleepy "umm hmm" was all he got but he pushed through the door, hoping the promise of food would wake her up.

"Good morning, 'Cedes. I made waffles; I'll even eat the burnt one!" He set the tray down on the desk and started to hand Mercedes a glass of orange juice when she sat straight up in bed.

"Finn, this is really sweet but I'm a total mess! I haven't even brushed my teeth yet," she said as she shyly tried to pull the scarf she had wrapped around her hair away. He laughed and said "Well, you might as well eat your waffles before you brush. You know I think you're hot no matter what."

She smiled and relaxed a little, "Fine, fine. Give me the waffle."

As they ate Finn filled her in on the weather and the rest of the family's plans for the day. She must have caught on that they had the house to themselves. She shifted in the bed and looked really serious. "Finn, I've kind of been thinking that maybe if things happened and we had the chance, well, I'm ready for more."

Okay, he honestly hadn't been thinking about that today. Really, they were getting pretty good at the stuff they'd been doing since Thanksgiving and with the house empty he'd just thought it would awesome if they could take their time for a change. He wondered what she meant by more, though. He didn't want oral. It was just something that had too many bad emotions tied up in it. It had been one of the more difficult parts of his attack to wrap his head around. More than that, it was also the feeling of having someone do something to you instead of with you.

They had talked about this, sometime after New York when they were just kissing and he wondered if she even remembered. She probably did, she was good at stuff like that. That meant that if she wanted more she probably meant the whole thing, and that was a huge deal. Especially for her.

"More? I mean, more at this point is pretty much everything isn't it?" He didn't realize he wasn't really looking at her until she tipped his face up.

"Finn, I know it is. My mom took me to the doctor before the holidays and I'm on the pill. Please don't feel like we have to do anything if you aren't ready. We can wait to talk about this next week or next month or next year if you want," she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"No!" Okay, so that came out a little more forcefully than he intended, he shook his head. "No," he said gently, "It's not that I don't want to, believe me I really, really want to. I just want this to be so special for you and I can't promise for sure that nothing is going to freak me out. I don't think it will, but I'm just so scared I'll ruin it."

She looked at him for a minute and slipped both her smaller hands around his large one. "Don't be so hard on yourself. No one's first time is perfect, but it will be special because it's you and I love you. Whether it's now or a year from now it's still going to be you."

"I guess it will be better than most of our friends' first times since you won't get pregnant or be just another notch in Brittany or Santana's bedposts, " he said, trying to lighten the mood a little. She laughed and pressed her face to his chest, "Right. At least you don't have a boyfriend trying to hide his limp from your father!"

He was smiling now too, "Yeah, I still owe Kurt a high five for that," he ducked her smack and said, "seriously, you matter so much to me and if you think you are ready, if you think we are ready, then I want to be with you like that."

She smiled, "Not today though, take some time to get used to the idea. It's okay if you want to talk to Doc McKenna or something. Whatever makes you feel ready. When it happens is there anything I should or shouldn't do?"

He had to be the luckiest guy in the world, but then he'd figured that out a while ago. He thought for a minute, "Nothing you would do could remind me of that, not really. But just to be careful, maybe not a lot of talking while it's actually happening?" She nodded, of course. She knew more of the details than almost anyone. He'd needed her to know the truth all along. He continued, "I want to look into your eyes, but that is just about wanting this to be awesome. Oh, please wear whatever it is that makes you smell so good. I'm sure my brain connects you to that smell and it can't hurt."

"I can do that," she said and pulled him closer so they could cuddle before they had to get up.

Two weeks later Mercedes pulled him into a long kiss as he left her house early on a Saturday morning and he couldn't help but wonder why he'd been so worried about it being okay. She was right; it hadn't been perfect, but it had been amazing.

April

Finn spent the first half of April trying to cheer Kurt up when he and Blaine broke up. Kurt still hadn't felt up to telling him what happened, but Finn had accidentally overheard the entire fight. Not that he ever wanted Kurt to find out about that.

Earlier:

Finn had come home from taking Mercedes for ice cream when he heard raised voices in the kitchen. He hurried through the house to make sure everything was okay, but ducked behind the door in the living room when he realized Kurt and Blaine were fighting.

"Blaine, don't be idiot. You got into Yale! If you get into Yale you go to Yale!" Kurt sounded frustrated, Finn should know, Kurt got frustrated with him a lot.

"But I got wait-listed for Columbia! I got into NYU! We said New York and I'm coming to New York with you. You are going to get your acceptance for Parsons or FIT any day now. We've been talking about this forever," Blaine argued.

Kurt's voice was quieter and Finn wouldn't have heard what he said if Blaine hadn't made him speak up, "I got my letter from Parsons on Monday, I got in."

"Kurt! That's amazing, I knew you would. See, New York is meant to be," Blaine argued.

"For me, Blaine. New York is an amazing opportunity for me. I can't let you throw your opportunity away for me."

"I only got into Yale because I'm a legacy. I don't want my father's life Kurt, you know that."

"It won't matter in the end, Blaine. All that will matter is that you'll have a degree from one of the best schools in the country!" Kurt said, loud enough now that Finn could have went back to his own room and still heard them, like that was going to happen.

"No, what matters is that you are my boyfriend, and I love you and I want to be with you no matter what!" Blaine looked like he was about to pull his hair out, and Finn could sympathize with that reaction. Kurt could be stubborn when he thought he was right.

"Than maybe I shouldn't be!"

"Shouldn't be? What do you mean? Shouldn't be what, Kurt?" Blaine asked, but Finn had a bad feeling he knew what was coming.

"Your boyfriend. If being with me is going to cause you to throw your future away than maybe I shouldn't be your boyfriend anymore," Kurt said though he could barely get the words out. Finn seriously wanted to go in there and stop this before things got worse, but he knew he had to leave them alone.

"Kurt, that's crazy. You can't mean that. We love each other, we'll figure this out," Blaine said, his voice cracking. At this point Finn really wanted to sneak out the back door, he felt pretty guilty for listening but he had the feeling Kurt might need him when this was over.

"I do love you, and that's why I can't do this anymore. I think you better go," Kurt said, turning away from Blaine, his eyes on his boots.

Blaine choked a bit, "Okay, okay. Obviously we can't talk about this right now, but I don't accept this. You can't just throw this away. Call me when you are ready to have a real conversation about this."

Finn waited until the door slammed before he entered the kitchen and opened his arms, not surprised at all to have his brother sobbing on his shoulder.

When Kurt made up his mind about something it was hard to change it, Finn knew that from experience. Convinced he was doing this for Blaine's own good his brother refused to answer the other boy's calls or texts for nearly two weeks.

Finally, Mercedes and Blaine's friend Wes conspired via Facebook and gave the two of them a figurative or maybe literal knowing his girlfriend, slap upside the head. It turns out that New Haven and New York City are no farther apart than Lima and Westerville. Finn spent the last week of April pretending to be annoyed at how obnoxiously in love Kurt and Blaine were once they made up.

May

As juniors the prom had seemed like a thing they had to do. It had, at least for a while, seemed important. It was on the way back from a decisive win at Regionals that they decided none of them actually cared that much about prom. They just wanted to have a special night together. Puck and Finn had been in favor of just getting dressed up in their fancy clothes and going to Wendy's. Finn thought that would be a pretty good anti-prom statement and plus they had those triple cheeseburgers that he loved. They were pretty severely out-voted, however, and that's how the New Directions Anti-Prom Hudmel Dinner and House Party started.

Kurt and Mercedes had taken charge of the planning and figured out that if they all pooled the money they would have spent on tickets, dinners, and limos they could easily have a meal catered and pay for a weekend getaway for Burt and Carole. That part took some negotiation, but in the end all the parents agreed with the condition that no alcohol would be present. Finn was pretty sure that some of the parents still weren't on board, but finally Burt had just cut to the chase and pointed out that on the off chance anyone in the group was still a virgin they weren't suddenly going to change their mind because it was prom weekend.

Finn was careful to agree with the concept without verifying his dad's assumptions about the entire group, although at this point he was pretty sure they were correct. He figured they were all less likely to do anything like that on the night they were sharing a house with all their friends than if they had been left to find their own after prom entertainment.

The dinner was awesome and afterwards they all piled into the living room to watch some of those 80s teen movies on the big screen. As the night went on they changed out of their formal clothes and movies turned into board games and Rock Band, which turned into truth or dare.

Finally, at 3 am everyone was exhausted and decided to call it a night. Everyone else spread out their sleeping bags and pillows in the living room while Finn, Mercedes, Kurt and Blaine headed upstairs. He figured being the host bought him a little bit of privacy. Just because they were both too tired to do anything didn't mean that he didn't want to cuddle up with Mercedes and wake up with her in his bed. As she climbed in next to him and rested her head on his chest he thought back to prom the year before. He was so glad he had the guts to kiss her when he did.

June

They won Nationals. Even Quinn had to admit that Rachel and Blaine's duet was a showstopper. Combine that with two well-rehearsed group numbers, one with a dance solo for Mike and the other an original song and they were unstoppable. He had even managed to take Mercedes back to Central Park to celebrate what was technically their anniversary. It would be kind of neat to do that every year, at least take her to a park with a fountain if they couldn't go to New York. Maybe one time he'd even have a ring.

On the morning of graduation he smiled to himself as he waited in line with everyone else, turning around to mess with the honor cords his brother was wearing behind him. It was actually pretty neat that there was nobody in their class alphabetically between Hudson and Hummel. Kurt swatted his hand away with a laugh, "Are you ready?"

"To get out of here? Absolutely!" He leaned out of line to look down to the J's and tried to catch Mercedes' attention. When he caught her eye he put a hand over his heart and winked at her and she did the same. Kurt was leaning around him trying to see the front of the line where Blaine would be getting ready to help Artie push his wheelchair up the ramp, ignoring Azimio Adams who was standing between them. He figured he have spent just a little too long staring into Mercedes' eyes when Kurt had to give him a shove because the line started moving.

There were a bunch of boring speeches first, but Kurt only had to elbow him once when he started to bounce his knee up and down from boredom. Finally they started calling names. Finn watched, with a heavy feeling as first Artie, then Blaine, and then Rachel walked across the stage and received their diplomas from Principal Figgins. They were just able to watch Mike and Tina before their row was told to stand up. They walked slowly to the front of the stage, careful not to get out of order. It seemed like they had to stand there a long time as Sam and Quinn had their turns before finally they were at the stage.

"Finn Christopher Hummel Hudson," read the school board member at the microphone. As Finn crossed the stage, trying to look dignified for his mother's sake, he was surprised to see Coach Bieste switch places with Figgins so she would be the one to hand him his diploma. He took the folder from her, before pulling her into a quick hug. "You did it kid, congratulations," she said, sounding a little choked up. Finn swallowed and glanced at the ring on her finger, the Hummel men moved quickly when it came to this stuff. He fought down his emotions and managed a quiet "See you at dinner, coach" before moving to the end of the stage and motioning for the photographer to wait.

He watched Kurt move across the stage and share an eye roll with Sue Sylvester who had somehow managed to replace Coach Bieste with his diploma. When Kurt reached him Finn slung an arm around his shoulders and nodded to the photographer who snapped their picture together, both holding up their diplomas. If Finn held up progress a little on the way back to their seats when the board member called Mercedes Marie Jones to receive her diploma nobody said a word about it.

When Lauren Zizes finally moved across the stage and accepted her diploma the members of the glee club took their places at the front of the stage. There had been a lot of discussion as to what song they would perform. Puck had lobbied for "Kodachrome", based solely on the first two lines and the fact that Paul Simon is Jewish. He lost when he couldn't tell Ms. Riordan what Kodachrome actually referred to. Apparently it had something to do with when cameras still used film.

Both Rachel and Quinn had tried for a solo with Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You", but the rest of the club had voted it down as too sad. Green Day's Time of Your Life had been under consideration until Santana pointed out that despite them what they'd accomplished if this was the "time of her life" she might as well give up now. Nobody could argue with that.

Honestly, Finn kind of liked "For Good" but he was not up for the solo drama that would result from doing something from Wicked. Finally after he spent an entire evening with Mercedes, Sam, Kurt and Blaine playing songs from their respective iPods they found one. Kurt often teased Blaine about being so Top 40, but in this case it was a good thing. They knew it would leave them wrecks, but "Long Live" by Taylor Swift was the song they had to sing.

Principal Figgins stood in front of the class and their families, "Ladies and Gentleman, your National Champions: The McKinley High School New Directions."

Rachel started with a solo, but the song was long enough that everybody got a solo or duet with the entire group coming together on the refrain about crashing through walls. Puck and Quinn sang about wearing crowns, and Artie had the lines about sitting on the sidelines. Finn sang with Sam when the lyrics talked about winning trophies and Mercedes on the first repeat about fighting dragons. By the time Tina had sung about cynics and ripped up jeans and Santana and Brittany about pointing to pictures the entire club had formed one tight group, hands joined and shoulders touching. By the end when Kurt and Blaine finished with

"Singing, long live all the mountains we moved  
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you  
And long, long live the look on your face  
And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered"

not even Puck was trying to hide his tears. As the group ran off the stage to a standing ovation they pulled each other into a massive group hug. They'd made it. Finn knew that none of them would ever be the same; they would all be better for what they'd been through and learned from each other. He could only hope that maybe they made McKinley a little better place for the next group of misfits as well.

**From the Metro Section of the Columbus Dispatch, September 12, 2020:**

Local Heroes: Off-Duty Firefighter Saves Life of Girl on Bridge

It was just another day off for firefighter Finn Hudson, 28 of the Columbus Fire Department's Buckeye Fire Station when he was driving home from the grocery store and spotted a teenage girl standing on the edge of the Dawson Street bridge. Hudson pulled over and approached the girl who seemed distressed. The sixteen year old girl, whose name is being withheld, told Hudson that she was planning to jump. After calling for help Hudson convinced the girl to sit down and talked to her for nearly an hour while authorities secured the girl's safety.

The girl later told police, "He saved my life. My parents threw me out and I didn't have anywhere to go. I still can't believe somebody stopped. He told me he knew how bad things could seem, but there was always something better waiting when it was over. He told me stuff that made me believe him, and he told me where I can stay and get help. Everything will be okay."

Hudson lives in the North Campus area of Columbus with his wife, Mercedes and two children Christopher, 4 and Shannon, 2. In his spare time he volunteers at a shelter for LGBTQ youth in crisis. Finn Hudson's brother is designer Kurt Hummel-Anderson who recently took New York's Fashion Week by storm.

When the Dispatch asked Hudson why he stopped he said, "She needed help. What kind of person wouldn't stop?"

Columbus could use more people like Finn Hudson.


End file.
